05-18-2018, 03:32 AM
[align=center][table]
[div style="width: 404px; text-align: justify; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 1.3;"]louis bennet chambers
 louis bennet chambers was born on july first to anette meadows and jackson kendrick but was given up for adoption shortly after his birth as an agreement between anette and jackson. he stayed in the system until he was four years old and was adopted by a young couple, david and maria chambers, who were unable too conceive their own child and had waited years for a child. while things were shaky at first, he quickly adapted and they are the best parents in the world
 his childhood was pretty great until his mental health started to deteriorate around the seventh or eighth grade but he wasn't sure how to tell anyone about how he was feeling and bottled it up and pretended to act like a normal kid
 he wasn't able to hide it for long because he started having these horrible mood swings and would go from perfectly chipper to angry and throwing things in a matter of minutes and that was just the tip of his problems that would continue to develop
 despite his mental health issues, louis still is a vey charismatic and loving person who would do anything for a complete stranger if it made them happy
 louis feels things incredibly deeply and it sucks because all of his relationships, even now with his parents, are somewhat strained or unstable due to his issues and it just makes that pain so much worse and he has a nasty habit of blaming himself for any and everything that goes wrong in interpersonal relationships and it has made him extremely anxious and nervous within current relationships
 he has a fear of being abandoned which really plays into relationships because he always thinks something is wrong and can't get it out of his head they they are going to abandon him and he pushes them away and it's one of the many reasons he's never had a serious relationship, because he pushes people away
 tries his darndest to only outwardly show his happy and cheerful side because as much as he hates himself and is scared other people hate him, he doesn't want to be seen as vulnerable or broken or crazy because of who he is
 tw self harm the first time something bad happened during one of his "episodes" as he calls them, was when he started scratching at his skin, digging his nails in until it broke and he could see blood. he continues doing this to this day and it has never escalated into using physical blades but when the urge strikes, it is often accompanied by suicidal thoughts but he hasn't acted on them yet
 he doesn't really sleep often and when he does it is full of unrest and nightmares. the most prevelent one is where he is in a crowd looking for someone and each time he gets close enough to touch, they disappear and he gets dragged into what seems like a bottomless pit and then he wakes up in a cold sweat and panic
 when he was around sixteen, his adoptive parents took him to see a therapist to try and figure out what was wrong with him. the therapist diagnosed him with bipolar disorder but it was actually a misdiagnosis and he actually suffers from borderline personality disorder which has some of the same symptoms that bipolar does
 louis didn't know he was diagnosed wrong and took medication to help what was supposedly bipolar actually made his symptoms worse to an extent and he stopped taking the medications because they didn't work and he just threw the pills away one at a time to make it seem like he was actually taking them so that his parents didn't find out that he had stopped taking his medication
 still doesn't know what is wrong with him and is too scared to see a psychiatrist because he doesn't want to be misdiagnnosed or called crazy again
 he often has panic and anxiety attacks when overwhelmed with the fear that he is going to lose someone or someone is going to leave him or when he is overwhelmed with what is going on because he doesn't always process things smoothly
 actually went digging for his birth parents when he turned eighteen and he actually found his mother and they have developed a relationship and it is more of like an aunt and nephew relationship versus a mother and son relationship
 is gay but it took forever to admit it and a string of failed relationships followed him and he felt like a failure because of it and like he didn't deserve love
 he loves bexley okay? thanks! bye! and he is so scared of losing him
why
why
why
[div style="width: 404px; text-align: justify; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 1.3;"]louis bennet chambers
 louis bennet chambers was born on july first to anette meadows and jackson kendrick but was given up for adoption shortly after his birth as an agreement between anette and jackson. he stayed in the system until he was four years old and was adopted by a young couple, david and maria chambers, who were unable too conceive their own child and had waited years for a child. while things were shaky at first, he quickly adapted and they are the best parents in the world
 his childhood was pretty great until his mental health started to deteriorate around the seventh or eighth grade but he wasn't sure how to tell anyone about how he was feeling and bottled it up and pretended to act like a normal kid
 he wasn't able to hide it for long because he started having these horrible mood swings and would go from perfectly chipper to angry and throwing things in a matter of minutes and that was just the tip of his problems that would continue to develop
 despite his mental health issues, louis still is a vey charismatic and loving person who would do anything for a complete stranger if it made them happy
 louis feels things incredibly deeply and it sucks because all of his relationships, even now with his parents, are somewhat strained or unstable due to his issues and it just makes that pain so much worse and he has a nasty habit of blaming himself for any and everything that goes wrong in interpersonal relationships and it has made him extremely anxious and nervous within current relationships
 he has a fear of being abandoned which really plays into relationships because he always thinks something is wrong and can't get it out of his head they they are going to abandon him and he pushes them away and it's one of the many reasons he's never had a serious relationship, because he pushes people away
 tries his darndest to only outwardly show his happy and cheerful side because as much as he hates himself and is scared other people hate him, he doesn't want to be seen as vulnerable or broken or crazy because of who he is
 tw self harm the first time something bad happened during one of his "episodes" as he calls them, was when he started scratching at his skin, digging his nails in until it broke and he could see blood. he continues doing this to this day and it has never escalated into using physical blades but when the urge strikes, it is often accompanied by suicidal thoughts but he hasn't acted on them yet
 he doesn't really sleep often and when he does it is full of unrest and nightmares. the most prevelent one is where he is in a crowd looking for someone and each time he gets close enough to touch, they disappear and he gets dragged into what seems like a bottomless pit and then he wakes up in a cold sweat and panic
 when he was around sixteen, his adoptive parents took him to see a therapist to try and figure out what was wrong with him. the therapist diagnosed him with bipolar disorder but it was actually a misdiagnosis and he actually suffers from borderline personality disorder which has some of the same symptoms that bipolar does
 louis didn't know he was diagnosed wrong and took medication to help what was supposedly bipolar actually made his symptoms worse to an extent and he stopped taking the medications because they didn't work and he just threw the pills away one at a time to make it seem like he was actually taking them so that his parents didn't find out that he had stopped taking his medication
 still doesn't know what is wrong with him and is too scared to see a psychiatrist because he doesn't want to be misdiagnnosed or called crazy again
 he often has panic and anxiety attacks when overwhelmed with the fear that he is going to lose someone or someone is going to leave him or when he is overwhelmed with what is going on because he doesn't always process things smoothly
 actually went digging for his birth parents when he turned eighteen and he actually found his mother and they have developed a relationship and it is more of like an aunt and nephew relationship versus a mother and son relationship
 is gay but it took forever to admit it and a string of failed relationships followed him and he felt like a failure because of it and like he didn't deserve love
 he loves bexley okay? thanks! bye! and he is so scared of losing him
[align=center][table]
[align=center][div style="font-size:14pt; font-family: georgia; color: #29181C;"]i told myself that i wouldn't be scared
[/table]
but i'm still having nightmares [color=#29181C]characters | trashcan