05-18-2018, 03:25 AM
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[div style="width: 404px; text-align: justify; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 1.3;"]ketsiyah opal mercier
 ketsiyah opal mercier was born on april twenty-ninth in san antonio, texas to alejandro and emilia mercier who are immigrants from puebla, mexico, making her a first generation mexican american. she grew up in an extremely strict and religious household where she was taught that there is only one right way to do things which included sitting on a chair and buttering toast
 it was made very clear that anything that was not considered "normal" was bad which would result in a lot of inner turmoil later in her life as she started discovering and figuring out who she is and exploring that and what the world offered
 was very rebellious even as a young child because of all the rules and regulations imposed on her as a child and she hated it and wanted to be a carefree young child and was basically robbed of her youth due to being scolded for running around in the rain or for playing in the mud and getting her clothes all dirty. this was really the start of the resentment towards her parents
 basically, her parents think the worst of her for a multitude of reasons and she has isolated herself from them as well as from potential friends because she believes she is a bad person due to the lack of love from her parents
 when she was around twelve or thirteen and the concept of being attracted to someone and dating started, she knew she was different from all the other girls in her school. they were all fawning over boys and all ketsiyah could think about was how cute the girl who sat two seats in front and one seat left in her geography class was. of course, she recognized this as "abnormal" because nobody else seemed to feel this way so she internalized all of this and joined in on the squealing about boys even though it was all fake and forced
 that same girl was actually the first person that ketsiyah ever kissed and it was on her doorstep and her parents opened the door right before they pulled away and basically dragged ketsiyah into the house and proceeded to yell at her and tell her that kissing other girls was wrong and that being gay is bad and just a lot of other homophobic and extremely hateful things
 this caused ketsiyah to turn even more in on herself and develop internalized homophobia towards herself because she saw herself as abnormal even more annd her self-hatred grew stronger and she started acting out and would cry herself to sleep because she couldn't help how she felt towards girls no matter how hard she tried. she would pray and write to santa to make her straight so that her parents would love her again and not be disappointed in her
 her grades dropped low and she didn'tt care about school and it was clear to anyone who saw her that she was depressed but due to her acting out, she was kicked out of quite a few schools. in the current school year alone, she has been to three separate schools due to her behavior and suspensions and all of that
 since she isolates herself, she does not have many friends and does not openly go up to people and is labled as a loner and a loser and one time someone painted "loser" and "kill yourself" on her locker and it just broke her more and more
 she has dated guys in hopes of becoming straight but it never works
 the first time she really felt that it wasn't horrible to be lesbian was when she met the people she currently calls her friends. while she was very closed off when she first met them and didn't really talk about her life or the bad things, she slowly opened up and even came out to them which was a really emotional thing even though they accepted her but it was the first time she really accepted herself for who she was and realizing that she wasn't broken or abnormal
 actually, if you'd believe it, fell in love with her friend riya and it absolutely terrified her and she accidentally blurted it out and then just fucking bolted and avoided riya because she was scared of being rejected. once she actually talked to riya again, she wasn't rejected and the two have been together ever since and sometimes when things are really bad at home, ketsiyah sneaks out and to riya's and just cuddles
 is very claustrophobic and gets anxious in confined areas and has panic attacks
 when her parents found out about her and riya, things got bad and ketsiyah actually ran away and disappeared without a trace. she got countless calls and texts from her friends and from riya and she ended up throwing her phone because everything was too much and all the internalized homophobia had come back all at once and she was gone for about three or four months before her friends found her and while they were mad, they were relieved she was alright and not dead
why
why
why
[div style="width: 404px; text-align: justify; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 1.3;"]ketsiyah opal mercier
 ketsiyah opal mercier was born on april twenty-ninth in san antonio, texas to alejandro and emilia mercier who are immigrants from puebla, mexico, making her a first generation mexican american. she grew up in an extremely strict and religious household where she was taught that there is only one right way to do things which included sitting on a chair and buttering toast
 it was made very clear that anything that was not considered "normal" was bad which would result in a lot of inner turmoil later in her life as she started discovering and figuring out who she is and exploring that and what the world offered
 was very rebellious even as a young child because of all the rules and regulations imposed on her as a child and she hated it and wanted to be a carefree young child and was basically robbed of her youth due to being scolded for running around in the rain or for playing in the mud and getting her clothes all dirty. this was really the start of the resentment towards her parents
 basically, her parents think the worst of her for a multitude of reasons and she has isolated herself from them as well as from potential friends because she believes she is a bad person due to the lack of love from her parents
 when she was around twelve or thirteen and the concept of being attracted to someone and dating started, she knew she was different from all the other girls in her school. they were all fawning over boys and all ketsiyah could think about was how cute the girl who sat two seats in front and one seat left in her geography class was. of course, she recognized this as "abnormal" because nobody else seemed to feel this way so she internalized all of this and joined in on the squealing about boys even though it was all fake and forced
 that same girl was actually the first person that ketsiyah ever kissed and it was on her doorstep and her parents opened the door right before they pulled away and basically dragged ketsiyah into the house and proceeded to yell at her and tell her that kissing other girls was wrong and that being gay is bad and just a lot of other homophobic and extremely hateful things
 this caused ketsiyah to turn even more in on herself and develop internalized homophobia towards herself because she saw herself as abnormal even more annd her self-hatred grew stronger and she started acting out and would cry herself to sleep because she couldn't help how she felt towards girls no matter how hard she tried. she would pray and write to santa to make her straight so that her parents would love her again and not be disappointed in her
 her grades dropped low and she didn'tt care about school and it was clear to anyone who saw her that she was depressed but due to her acting out, she was kicked out of quite a few schools. in the current school year alone, she has been to three separate schools due to her behavior and suspensions and all of that
 since she isolates herself, she does not have many friends and does not openly go up to people and is labled as a loner and a loser and one time someone painted "loser" and "kill yourself" on her locker and it just broke her more and more
 she has dated guys in hopes of becoming straight but it never works
 the first time she really felt that it wasn't horrible to be lesbian was when she met the people she currently calls her friends. while she was very closed off when she first met them and didn't really talk about her life or the bad things, she slowly opened up and even came out to them which was a really emotional thing even though they accepted her but it was the first time she really accepted herself for who she was and realizing that she wasn't broken or abnormal
 actually, if you'd believe it, fell in love with her friend riya and it absolutely terrified her and she accidentally blurted it out and then just fucking bolted and avoided riya because she was scared of being rejected. once she actually talked to riya again, she wasn't rejected and the two have been together ever since and sometimes when things are really bad at home, ketsiyah sneaks out and to riya's and just cuddles
 is very claustrophobic and gets anxious in confined areas and has panic attacks
 when her parents found out about her and riya, things got bad and ketsiyah actually ran away and disappeared without a trace. she got countless calls and texts from her friends and from riya and she ended up throwing her phone because everything was too much and all the internalized homophobia had come back all at once and she was gone for about three or four months before her friends found her and while they were mad, they were relieved she was alright and not dead
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[align=center][div style="font-size:14pt; font-family: georgia; color: #29181C;"]i told myself that i wouldn't be scared
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but i'm still having nightmares [color=#29181C]characters | trashcan