and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing
#53
[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]journal entry no.5.3 / i am surrouned by idiots

okay so let's start this off with the WhiteBoyâ„¢ in my ap combined class today that decided to give his unwanted opinion. so i was minding my own business trying to not die, and the girl sitting little ways away from me was like (to the boy) "did you hear about the nfl thing over the weekend?" and i automatically paid more attention. so this walking jar of mayonnaise began running his mouth and all i caught was "i think they could've gone about it a different way" and i almost threw myself over the table. i lightly slammed my upper body over my desk so i could face him and begin my verbal assault. I just barely got the words "well what are they supposed to do?" out but then Kay stopped me from saying anything, but she knew yelling at them only makes things worse so i didn't get to. i sulked in my anger for the next 25 minutes. that was my morning and things have only gotten worse.

( but! this morning i gave Cas swetish fish because yesterday i told him i would. we talked yesterday before orchestra started so i'm already fulfilling my goal of talking to him more, so we'll see how that goes )

now emotionally, i'm not doing super well. i'm really numb. like i sat in relatively vocal and mental silence for most of the day. i haven't said much of anything but i haven't thought much of anything either. i'm just existing here in perpetual lingo. i just look through instagram or the snapchat official stories and do nothing else. it's very weird to feel disconnected from the social atmosphere and conversation when in fact you are right there. my emotions are just at a stand still.

a lot of it is violin. i'm overwhelmed. like i'm not freaking out because i can't. i don't have the mental energy too. the performance is next saturday and i feel like i don't know any of the pieces. and the demise of my reputation or the berating of my self-esteem by my violin teacher isn't even enough motivation for me. i have to get the pieces memorized, i know i do but i just keep not doing it. ugh. i have to get it done.

i have a psych test tomorrow that i have not studied for but i've got a quizlet picked out that i've started. i'm going to send crows more things on tumblr until she and i are okay. it's going to be okay. i'm going to be okay.


[align=center][div style="width: auto; font-size: 9pt; font-family: arial; color: black; letter-spacing: 1px;"][i]etherial, almost ghostly ― [color=black]info
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Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - by Legends - 09-26-2017, 08:06 PM



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