LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME - dump

[grayflower]

c: gives me yogurt w my lunch
me: what should i do with the spoon
c: throw it away
me: throw away a metal spoon?
c: yes
me:

[grayflower]

THE ANGELIC HIERARCHY
(christian angelology)

SPHERE 1

the first sphere is the highest, and it consists of the only three choirs in direct contact with god (in christian belief).

SERAPHIM
("burning ones")

the seraphim are the highest angels. they help to protect god's throne.
a seraph has six wings; two to fly, two to cover their face, and two to cover their feet. a seraph also has many, many eyes. (this makes me curious as to what their field of vision is like, but that's a musing for another time.)

CHERUBIM

the cherubim also help to protect god's throne. in the garden of eden, they supposedly guarded the tree of life as well.
a cherub has four heads; one is human, and the others are ox, lion, and eagle. revelations describes them as having six wings, but the most common depiction shows four wings covered with eyes. they have lion bodies and ox hooves.
it's been thought that satan was a cherub before falling.

THRONES
(or elders)

thrones are a tricky choir to describe; accounts of them are wildly different from book to book, person to person. that, and they're often confused with ophanim, of the jewish angelic hierarchy. many are also confused by their distinct difference from other celestial beings. i personally mix beliefs; i believe them to be ophanim in appearance, but their purpose is similar to the 24 elders of revelations.
that is to say, they are burning wheels covered in eyes, who present human prayers to god. they also seem to have a strong connection to cherubim.

SPHERE 2

the second sphere is more closely connected to the material world, and they have more control over the universe.

DOMINONS
(or lordships)

dominions are sort of the supervisors; they give orders to lower angels. they rarely make contact with humans.
they look very similar to the traditional depiction of an angel. they appear as beautiful humans with two wings, but they're separated from other angels by an orb of light, usually on a scepter or the hilt of their sword.

VIRTUES
(or strongholds)

angels of blessings and miracles. some sources say, though, that they control the movements of heavenly bodies. this is what i personally believe, but some people attribute this to powers instead.

POWERS
(or authorities)

warrior angels who fight against evil. depicted in full armor and with weapons. i don't usually draw full armor on my powers, because it would be difficult to work around the wings. i usually draw light armor, using more of a jointed frame on the edges of the wings for protection.

SPHERE 3

the third sphere consists of the angels in direct contact with humanity- they are mostly messengers.

PRINCIPALITIES
(or rulers, or princedoms)

these are the guardian angels- they guide and protect individual people or groups. this can include an entire country, or one church. they're shown wearing a crown and carrying a scepter.

ARCHANGELS
("chief angels")

archangels are the highest messengers. this is confusing, though, because Archangels, with a capital A, can also refer to the seven seraphim who are above all other angels. the seven Archangels are thought to guide and protect countries, though it's incredibly unclear which. the Archangel michael is believed to protect israel.

ANGELS

now these are the ones everyone thinks of- they're the most active messengers, and they're personal guardian angels. some believe they only guard one human during their existence, but i personally believe they take on a new human after the last has died.

SUMMARY

so yeah, there's a basic explanation of the entire angelic hierarchy. this took me, christ, something like 45 minutes, because i was skimming multiple websites and compiling everything, and organizing this, and then putting my personal beliefs in there, and checking everything for accuracy, and- i mean, basically, i'm really dedicated to teaching people about angels.
this is only CHRISTIAN ANGELOLOGY- every religion has their own hierarchy and their own beliefs about angels, but i enjoy christian angelology most, so just about everything i say about angels comes from christianity. i'm actually not christian though! and if you have a specific religion you'd like me to research for more information about angels, i'm totally open to that. just let me know! i love doing this so much. i hope you learned something from this!

[grayflower]

vent

guys im actually really stressed... ive been keeping everything inside because im mad and upset at night and on the school bus, and then i get to school and i see my bf and he makes me happy so i just try to ignore the unrest but its getting really hard to ignore lately. like ive been having trouble sleeping because sleep makes me anxious ? the other night i stayed up really late trying to put it off and then i finally tried to sleep and immediately had a panic attack and cried for a little while ? and ive had to listen to music to fall asleep which i have never done in my life, it has never worked for me before, but the past few nights it's been my only savior. i stay up late, until i really can't stay awake any longer, then i put in earbuds and play my nighttime playlist and pray it works, and i try not to think about the things that make me anxious, and i try not to think about my anxiety with sleep and so far it seems to be working but it's only a matter of time before it stops working.
and then- i just don't like my personality anymore. my boyfriend calls me a ray of sunshine but i really don't like myself. i think i'm annoying. i don't think anyone likes me as much as they say. i still get surprised that he wants to date me. i still get surprised that anyone wants to treat me well and be around me, i'm just surprised that people like me.
i don't know. god. i don't want to say this to anyone because it's valentine's day and i don't want to bring anyone's mood down but i've had so much on me lately and i need to get some of it off my chest. this is not directed at anyone- i am not attacking anyone, or blaming anyone. bearbones actually lifts my mood, you're all so kind and friendly. i just need to put this somewhere and i don't really have anywhere else.