my lover, please stay with me — open.
#1
[align=center][div style="width: 450px; text-align: justify; font-family: andale mono; font-size: 6.5pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 1px; line-height: 14px; color: #484a4d"]tw. mention of character death

If you have a soulmate and he dies, do you stop saying that you have one? Are you always soulmates even whilst one half of the equation was gone?

Vernon wasn’t sure how to answer that. He wasn’t sure he ever could answer that.

Sunken eyes were rimmed with mangled blood vessels, and every blink sent a burn from the saline that had triggered its notable bloodshot appearance. His covetous hands intertwined and twisted together as elbows rested against the concrete fence which separated the promenade from the beachfront; an attempt to comfort himself whilst he watched Arlo on the shoreline, skipping stones into the sea on his own. Vernon had taken Mickey’s sudden death terribly, and yet he knew he had to hold himself together for Arlo’s sake. After Green’s heartfelt promise that he’d never lose another guardian again, Mick’s loss had come as an inexplicable sorrow to Arlo. He was no longer speaking again, silenced by his grief as he shut the world off around him.

With a shuddering breath, Green lowered his head to rest it against the concrete. A couple of deep breaths to ward off the incoming wave of tears. Mick said that he’d never leave. He’d never abandon Green. He said he’d never have to fight another battle alone. Mick held together Green’s bones, he was the man who had saved Green’s life. How was Green unable to do the same for him? How could Green ever find closure when there was no body to bury? He was exhausted and yearned for nothing more than to lay down and rest his head on his lover’s lap. Allow for his eyes to flutter shut as he'd feel fingers gently glide through his hair. These days, Vernon lay his head against a cold pillow, vacant eyes staring at the space beside him in his bed. The emptiness in his chest would remain.

He almost had it all.

After several moments, Green finally lifted his head to look back towards Arlo, head slowly twisting to the side as he gazed at the way the young boy stood with his shoulders slumped, looking out across the sea before throwing another stone lethargically. What could Green possibly do to comfort the inconsolable? Sometimes, they simply had to acknowledge that things weren’t all right. For so long, Green had been one half of a whole. Now, he was alone again.

Perhaps it was the curse of Vernon Green. All the family that he had come to love would leave in the end. They would die and leave him alone to linger on the ghost of them. First Cassie. Then Carol and Steve. Then Gus. Winnie. Mick. Arlo too had lost so much in his short lifetime. How many funerals would a boy have to go to before the age of ten?

Green shifted from foot to the other as he watched Arlo from afar. Whilst neither had likened themselves as father and son, Arlo always had appreciated having his guardians around. Like guardian angels, he once uttered softly in the silence of the kitchen where he, Mick and Vernon sat together. And now, he had only one. The person that made both Arlo and Green feel safe was no longer in their lives, and together they’d have to face the world alone.

He had saved them both in every way a person could be saved.

The grief was still raw, and Green would take things one day at a time. When news of Mick’s death had spread throughout the District, the atmosphere felt disconsolate and blue. Nobody knew what to say to the leader of the District in the days following his fiance’s death, apart from condolences and the creation of a memorial shrine beside the fountain in the centre of town. Green no longer walked that way because every time he had to cross paths with the piles of floral arrangements and letters of sympathy, it made him break down all over again. He could not allow himself to properly grieve; he had to be there for Arlo.

Footsteps approached towards the side of him, Green turning his head to see who was approaching him. He tugged his lips into the closest attempt at his usual joyous smiles, but it lacked something there. ❝ Hey. ❞ Green greeted, voice somewhat choked up as he glanced across the person’s features. ❝ It’s a nice day out here today, isn’t it? ❞ It was a beautiful day. The sun’s basking glow was warm and glorious, and there was not a single cloud in the sky. It would have been the perfect day to repaint the outside of his home, just as he and Mickey had talked about only last week.

Instead, this morning Green had stared at Mick’s folded laundry on top of the dresser, unable to do anything else but leave it just the way Mick had arranged it. He wouldn’t move the ashtray which sat outside on the table of the sweet bistro set. He wouldn't even stroll down to the clinic as he always did on a beautiful day like this because he knew that the man he loved unconditionally would not be there to greet him anymore.

Today would be one of many days he’d spend without his soulmate.


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I'LL EAT UP ALL YOUR PAIN, TAKE IN ALL THE BLAME
[div style="width: 400px; font-family: georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 5pt; line-height: 1; letter-spacing: 4.2px; word-spacing: 1.9px; margin-bottom: 5px;"]BE THAT SOMEONE TO COMPLAIN TO — NOTES.
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#2
[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-size: 12px; font-family: calibri; letter-spacing: .6px; color: #494949;"]the whole district felt, and still feels, mickey’s loss. maybe for others it’s just the heaviness their guardian now brings with him, but amor’s heart hurts for not only green and arlo, but mickey too. with the work he put in since the raids, held the whole group together with next to no supplies. admirable work.

amor hums some song her and her brother used to sing growing up, some show tune. they miss him. constantly. it’s an ache, his presence just being gone. but, amor knows he’s on to bigger and better things. they’re focusing on carrying on everything beau stood for, they know there’s something beyond death, so she can accept him being gone; make peace with it. they also know some people can’t do that. the pain being too much or whatever the case, everyone has their reasons. in a world where loss is so prevalent, it can often feel like a constantly state of mourning; and, maybe, it is. there will always be a part of amor that weeps for everyone she’s lost and all the hurt that’s come to the ones they love. while they hope for the hurt to start to fade, their heart takes in too much, but it’s not a reason to give up.

she spots green, her hum coming to a stop as she also notices arlo on the beach. considering the two aren’t talking, they assume they won’t be interrupting anything by joining him. when he turns to look, she offers her usual warm and genuine smile, ” just thought you could use some company, “ they say in greeting, stopping beside him and looking out to the water, the sun reflects off the water and gentle waves. it’s warm enough that the breeze from the ocean don’t feel too cold, just a nice little cool off. amor nods slowly, still taking in more scenery before responding. [color=#e67300]” it is… every day has beauty, “ she mentions, clearly fully believing what they’re saying.

[color=#e67300]” you don’t have to make small talk if you don’t want to, you don’t have to talk at all if you don’t want to, “ amor says softly after a minute or so of silence, [color=#e67300]” i just wanna help with whatever you need. “

[spoiler=tags, updated 09/25/2021]BASICS[color=#e67300]HERE'S TO THE ONES WHO DREAM

&. ❝ amor nirvana dulce valdez ❞ |  mor | demigirl [ she/they ] .
&. 24 years old . | february fourteenth ; aquarius .
&. demo of northstar district .

PERSONALITYFOOLISH AS THEY MAY SEEM
&. friendly . sweet . forgiving . outgoing . emotional . optimistic . caring . passionate . a tease . gullible . selfless . excitable . imaginative . head in the clouds . strong-willed . full of energy . hard working . touchy . open minded . easy going . trusting . flexible . an empath . naïve .

APPEARANCEHERE'S TO THE HEARTS THAT ACHE
&.  five foot four & one hundred and fifteen pounds ; faceclaim, lindsey morgan .
↳ dark brown hair to her midback, some strands being a medium, warm brown as well .
↳ petite, muscular build . full six-pack and toned muscles .
↳ bright and warm chocolate eyes .

INTERACTIONSHERE'S TO THE MESS WE MAKE
&.  [ 6/10 ] physically  |  [ 9/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ easy ] | difficulty w/ melees [ easy ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ medium ]
↳ extreme and serious pacifist, will not fight back .
↳ lacks use of her right leg after taking a shot to the back .
&. attack in bold #e67300 | [member=570]scully[/member] | PM for any major plots .
&. friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .

INVENTORYSHE CAPTURED A FEELING
&. [ 0 ] weapons | [ 0 ] armor pieces | [ 0 ] consumables | [ 2 ] aid items | [ 0 ] misc .
↳ a leg brace she crafted .
↳ a one and a half year old black chow chow named grizzly

RELATIONSHIPSSKY WITH NO CEILING
&. malina valdez, deceased (npc) x mateo valdez, deceased (npc) | youngest child .
beau valdez, older brother, deceased .
&. pansexual, panromantic ; mongamous  . | falls in love three times a day .
&. current crush on vernon green . [/spoiler]


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when she laughs the heavens hum,
a stungun lullaby [color=#331a00]"discord" channel | bio thread
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