saved these words — blake .

[EDMUND.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]❝ I’d like to talk to you if that’s all right. ❞

Eddie clenched his jaw with a slow nod of the head.

❝ Alone. ❞

He’d noticed for days, for weeks, a gradual turmoil inside Blake Kegan’s head. Whether she liked it or not, Eddie could sense these things — after all, neither could deny that once, a long time ago, they had been married and thought that they were in love. Whilst Eddie’s own wrongdoings caused the marriage to fail, it didn’t mean that he did not still care about Blake. Perhaps not romantically, but certainly protectively. And, whilst Danny was away, Alfie was no longer, and the children were still in Northstar District, Blake was left to wallow in her own mind. A dangerous position to be in. Edmund would know; he struggled with the very same thing.

Hands in his pockets, Edmund stepped into his office, holding the door open for Blake as she stepped in. ❝ Take a seat. ❞ Eddie offered, but Blake would choose to stand regardless. That was all right, Eddie supposed, instead leaning back against his desk as he looked across at Blake worriedly. 

❝ You don’t have to talk to me, but I just need you to know that I’m still here for you. You may hate me… all right, but I’m someone to open up to because… ❞ Eddie looked off to the side, swallowing hard as he nodded his head to himself. ❝ I know it’s difficult. A lot has happened and it’s not easy when you feel like you’ve got to go through it all on your own. ❞

❝ What I’m trying to say is that… You can talk to me about anything, Blake. I know you’re struggling right now — I can see it in your eyes —and I just need you to know that you don’t have to do this on your own. We don’t have to be anything, not friends, not anything; I just want you to be okay. ❞

[blake k.]

He wanted to speak, alone. There wasn't anyone there for it to be otherwise - it wasn't like she'd have an eight-year-old go with her to talk to him even if she was with Cade then. But he was off doing whatever he chose to do so long as he stayed close to the lodge.

There would be no reply, just a simple shrug, and silent following into the office.

"No" she should sit, she knew she should what with being pregnant and everything but her brain said otherwise. No, she would stand. She refused to sit. Instead, she held onto the chair, listening as Eddie spoke to her though not really...hearing it. She hardly heard anything anymore or well, at least when it's spoken to her. She heard what Cade said probably due to her maternal instincts or whatever.

"...I know it's difficult..." "No you don't." she paused "Well, you do, but...it's different." you could hear her breaking in her voice, it would crack when she spoke but it was clear she was trying to hide it. She always was trying to hide it. "L-Like what am I supposed to do if the boys ask about their d-" she cut herself off with sobs. She couldn't hold it in anymore.

She didn't care when she felt him hug her, she wasn't really in a place to care. "He was my best friend, Eddie. He was my only fucking friend on this fucking mountain!"

[spoiler=TAGS 3/12]
Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise — general
▪ Blake Adrian Kegan | Blake, Blakie | open to nicknames
▪ AFAB | Identifies as Genderfluid | she/they
▪ 23 | Born July 26th | ages real time
▪ combat | member of Flintlock Lodge

Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised — physical
♦ Health: 100%
— They stand at 5'9" with semi-long wavy ginger hair. She has a rose tattoo and a few scars from past events. She's closer to an athletic build and is on the thinner side. She has an Australian accent as she's originally from Adelaide, Australia.
— minor injuries: n/a
— major injuries: n/a

Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it — important events
— 12/05/40 Lost her best friend, Alfie
— 7/26/40 Celebrated her 23rd birthday
— 5/31/40 Had Keiron and Louis; The "Hell Twins"
— 4/26/40 Thomas and Charlotte turned 2

Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it — personality
— I like to think Blake is a good example of the whole "strong, independent woman" thing even if she doesn't identify as a woman. She has a short temper and what I gently put as homicidal tendencies. She will gladly fight someone, regardless if they're bigger than her or not. However, she's also rather maternal and is more likely to protect a child than anything. Her maternal side has massively shown itself since the twins were born, though that leaves her more violent side to be overlooked or forgotten.
— Maternal, "Strong Independent Woman", Protective
— Violent, Homicidal Tendencies, Short Tempered

I'm headed straight for the castle — relationships
▪ Ryan Kegan x Katherine Kegan
▪ Pansexual | Panromantic | Polyamorous
▪ It's complicated | Crushing on one | Maybe Crushing on no one
    ↳ Involved with Danny Hargrove
▪ Ex-wife of Edmund Moray
    ↳ cheated on her
▪ Mother of six
    ↳ Thomas and Charlotte Moray (2yrs)
    ↳ Louis and Keiron Stirling-Kegan (10m)
    ↳ Currently pregnant, due in April
    ↳ Guardian to Danny's son, Cade (8yrs)

They wanna make me their queen — interaction
— Physically very hard | Mentally intermediate
— Uses compound bow and arrows
— Also skilled in hand to hand combat
— No killing and ask before major injuries or major interactions
— To attack, [member=9567]Noccy[/member] & attack in #B34600
[/spoiler]

[EDMUND.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]tw. mention of past injury, mention of alcohol and drugs taken by a minor

His words were returned with a feeble crack of Blake's voice. Edmund knew exactly how she felt following the loss of Alfie. He was his brother after all, the spark of joy in the Stirling family despite his incessant desire to push boundaries and announce the most hilariously vulgar comments without a care in the world. This was the Alfie who used to tackle Eddie into the waves on the beach as a child, the Alfie that shoved young Eddie down the stairs one time, leaving him with a winding scar beneath his brow, the Alfie that introduced Eddie at the age of fourteen to the world of alcohol and drugs.

But, he was also the only person in the family who would ever openly give a damn about how Eddie felt, despite the Stirling culture to avoid emotion at all costs. The Alfie who’d check in on Eddie when no one else was around. The Alfie who would joyously listen and encourage Eddie to pursue his hobby of playing the guitar because it was one of the few things that could ever distract Eddie from their line of work. The Alfie who effortlessly made Eddie feel protected and adored, because that was what older brothers did. But, Eddie would not open up about his brother’s death. The mere thought of speaking about feelings made him want to cringe. If Eddie could conceal his feelings and pretend that the hurt wasn’t real, then that would be ideal.

Blake was not like him, though. She preferred to keep her feelings to herself but she was barely good at hiding it, at least to Eddie. He could see that look at her eyes, the listlessness and longing to hear Alfie’s voice again. Eddie too, Eddie too. As Blake spoke, Eddie slowly nodded his head and looked down at his shoes. The mention of the boys. The boys that were not his, but were Alfie’s. Blake did not know that Eddie knew as of yet, but brothers talked. ❝ Well, ❞ Eddie began, lifting his head to look towards her. ❝ You tell ‘em all about Uncle Alfie now, ‘ey? All of that stupid shit he’d get up to around the lodge, how he could bring a smile to anyone’s face, how the boys would have loved him. ❞ Eddie explained with a gentle mumble, voice threatening to waver the more he tried to get through every word.

He swallowed hard as Blake began to cry. The sight itself nearly evoked tears from Eddie himself, but he gritted his teeth as he held himself together. The stiller he could stand, the harder he could clench his jaw, the easier it would be to avoid every emotion that felt like daggers within. And then, he eventually stepped forward to hold her in a hug. She could hate him all she wanted for it, but they were both going through a loss unimaginable. To Eddie, biological family. To Blake, found family. ❝ I know. ❞ He uttered softly in a whisper as she cried. ❝ I know... ❞

Alfie had a way of making people feel loved; his loss would never go unnoticed. Eddie eventually pulled away, hands holding her upper arms as he peered over towards her. ❝ Listen. Listen. We both know that Alfie would have had a few choice words for us if he saw the both of us this way, mourning over his death. ❞ He paused for a moment, eyes darting across her face quietly before he asked, ❝ Would you like to come with me? To see him? ❞ His grave, although Eddie could not bring himself to call it such.