08-25-2020, 02:13 PM
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— the allure of starting anew was something he couldn’t resist at that point. when teddy presented him with the prospect of a clean slate, a new life, julien needed that opportunity far more than he let on. perhaps teddy knew - the little shit always seemed to know everyone’s business. perhaps teddy needed this new slate just as much as jules did - julien tended to know everyone’s business, too. whatever reason the blonde had to drag julien along for the ride, he felt ashamed to admit how reluctant he had been to start life all over again.
too often, julien simply tried to work off of whatever cards the world dealt to him. he tried to make it work, but it was hard to bring about any growth when the world had given him such a terrible hand at the start. others in his position simply left the table once they realized how useless trying would be. julien had seen it in his own family. his own mother left the family the minute she saw an opportunity. his parents’ relationship had been rocky to begin with; the electricity just presented her the best way out.
the memory of stepping outside of his shared bedroom with his brother, wiping at tired eyes to see his mother packing her bags to leave in the middle of the night. a silent getaway. she wasn’t even going to say goodbye to her two kids. when she saw him standing there, she didn’t say anything. and neither did julien. he just stiffened his upper lip and did nothing to stop it; he was only a kid back then. he turned around and went back to bed with puffy, tired eyes. and hope. hope that his mother would still be home by morning.
hope was a foolish thing. he bolted out of bed in the morning and into their small dining area. the look on his dad’s face said it all. hope. it was a dream that the impossible would become possible.
julien learned at a very young age that it never did.
he worked his ass off to get where he was. he picked up all sorts of odd jobs to be able to afford his dad’s medical bills, the appointments, the insulin. his pride felt reluctant to share that, as hard as he worked, he still hadn’t gotten himself very far out of the hole he had been stuck in. his dad died. his brother left. and for once, there wasn’t anyone tying julien down in new orleans anymore. he could start this life all over again.
that was exactly why he was so terrified; what if this new life was just as awful as the last?
if teddy told him that the first couple months of this new life would’ve consisted of watching ted play kiss-ass with the rich… he might have been more inclined to say no to the offer. he wasn’t even tied down or forced to stay with the other man. though ted was like a brother to him; he couldn’t leave him when most days the man didn’t even know what day of the week it was. besides, maybe there was a part of him that needed teddy, too.
he stuck around. and he was glad that he did. the badlands had been a great home the last couple of weeks. it needed work, but that was exactly what gave julien a sense of purpose. this was his new life, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to keep working hard to get what he wanted.
he wiped a bead of sweat from his brow, placing his hands on his hips as he surveyed the other workers. a clean-up crew working on a little shop. if the badlands was truly going to be this party central at the casino, they ought to at least clean up other parts of the city. clean it up and make it look like the perfect place to party by the coast. he sighed. why was he trying to help make ted’s dream a reality?
shaking his head, he picked up a broom and continued to sweep.
maybe it was because he didn’t have a dream of his own, yet.
// he's here ! !
— the allure of starting anew was something he couldn’t resist at that point. when teddy presented him with the prospect of a clean slate, a new life, julien needed that opportunity far more than he let on. perhaps teddy knew - the little shit always seemed to know everyone’s business. perhaps teddy needed this new slate just as much as jules did - julien tended to know everyone’s business, too. whatever reason the blonde had to drag julien along for the ride, he felt ashamed to admit how reluctant he had been to start life all over again.
too often, julien simply tried to work off of whatever cards the world dealt to him. he tried to make it work, but it was hard to bring about any growth when the world had given him such a terrible hand at the start. others in his position simply left the table once they realized how useless trying would be. julien had seen it in his own family. his own mother left the family the minute she saw an opportunity. his parents’ relationship had been rocky to begin with; the electricity just presented her the best way out.
the memory of stepping outside of his shared bedroom with his brother, wiping at tired eyes to see his mother packing her bags to leave in the middle of the night. a silent getaway. she wasn’t even going to say goodbye to her two kids. when she saw him standing there, she didn’t say anything. and neither did julien. he just stiffened his upper lip and did nothing to stop it; he was only a kid back then. he turned around and went back to bed with puffy, tired eyes. and hope. hope that his mother would still be home by morning.
hope was a foolish thing. he bolted out of bed in the morning and into their small dining area. the look on his dad’s face said it all. hope. it was a dream that the impossible would become possible.
julien learned at a very young age that it never did.
he worked his ass off to get where he was. he picked up all sorts of odd jobs to be able to afford his dad’s medical bills, the appointments, the insulin. his pride felt reluctant to share that, as hard as he worked, he still hadn’t gotten himself very far out of the hole he had been stuck in. his dad died. his brother left. and for once, there wasn’t anyone tying julien down in new orleans anymore. he could start this life all over again.
that was exactly why he was so terrified; what if this new life was just as awful as the last?
if teddy told him that the first couple months of this new life would’ve consisted of watching ted play kiss-ass with the rich… he might have been more inclined to say no to the offer. he wasn’t even tied down or forced to stay with the other man. though ted was like a brother to him; he couldn’t leave him when most days the man didn’t even know what day of the week it was. besides, maybe there was a part of him that needed teddy, too.
he stuck around. and he was glad that he did. the badlands had been a great home the last couple of weeks. it needed work, but that was exactly what gave julien a sense of purpose. this was his new life, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to keep working hard to get what he wanted.
he wiped a bead of sweat from his brow, placing his hands on his hips as he surveyed the other workers. a clean-up crew working on a little shop. if the badlands was truly going to be this party central at the casino, they ought to at least clean up other parts of the city. clean it up and make it look like the perfect place to party by the coast. he sighed. why was he trying to help make ted’s dream a reality?
shaking his head, he picked up a broom and continued to sweep.
maybe it was because he didn’t have a dream of his own, yet.
// he's here ! !