❝ lose control — freddie . ❞

[MOLLIE.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 1.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]She was terrified.

Mollie could deny it to herself all she wanted, but the truth was that she was falling in love.

She didn’t want to feel this way, but the way the years of skepticism and distrust seemed to dissolve in his arms was undeniable. Love wasn’t supposed to feel this good. The only vision of love she’d ever grown accustomed to in her life was an unrequited one between a desperate daughter and two absent parents. That kind of love was twisted. It fucked her up. That feeling of never being good enough for somebody to ever love her back hurt more than the absence of love all together. She’d rather not risk having a seed of hope planted in her heart than take a leap of faith and watch the love wither away.

Instead, she felt safer as a ghost than a human being, drifting in and out of people’s lives unattached. She enjoyed her voice being heard, and loved the way the world around her trembled at her fingertips. Mollie was a walking disaster, but she liked the way it felt. It drew in the thrill seekers, the ones which would make her feel a rush of excitement and adventure, and before they knew it she’d be gone the next day. She hoped that they missed her when she left, but she never did stick around for long enough to know.

She turned her back on good people, men who would be willing to burn the whole world if she did as little as ask them to, eyelashes fluttering. People who would follow her to the ends of the earth just to wake up every day and be entranced once more by her allure. But, she couldn’t risk it. She wouldn’t risk love because love never had a happy ending. They’d either die, or abandon you, or leave you with a broken heart. And so, if Mollie were to dare admit that she needed Freddie far more than she’d let on, she would hope that he would not take her words lightly. She did everything in her power to make sure she would never have to depend on anyone and yet here she was, in Freddie’s bar after closing time with a heart feeling so full it could burst.

❝ You really need a jukebox in here. ❞ Mollie pointed out with a long hum before glancing over to where Freddie was finishing off packing everything away for the night. ❝ Wouldn’t that be sick? You could put it right there. ❞ She squinted her eyes as she gestured in a circular motion at the corner of the room. With that, she finished off the last of her beer before swaying towards the pool table, twirling around absently before lowering the empty beer bottle to the ground so that she could instead pick up the cue. She had only played pool a couple of times before, playing disastrously every single time, and so a part of her wondered what possessed her to try her hand at the game again.

Closing one eye - as if that would help with her accuracy - she hit the cue ball as it proceeded to bounce across the table, balls scattering in all directions. And then, subtly, she glanced back to check on Freddie, beginning to smile as she noticed he’d finished up and was getting the both of them more drinks. Those pale eyes lingered for what felt like lifetimes as she searched his features before looking back at the pool table. She could no longer deny to herself that she felt something for him. Never before had she felt those butterflies so intensely in her stomach. Never before had a smile lingered on her lips before she’d even come to realize it was because he was on her mind yet again.

Love never felt so sweet. She wanted to retch at the thought.

It was shit because Freddie was this egotistical, charming asshole who probably treated every woman as if she was the only one. Mollie wasn’t special. God, she couldn’t even claim that maybe she was but she certainly hoped that she was more than just a warm body to spend the night with. And there it was again. Hope. It was a dangerous feeling. It made her question everything that she’d ever believed in. For a woman who was once so restrained - she could dominate the room with nothing more than her presence - never had she felt so out of control. Was this what feeling free felt like, or was this nothing more than a woman unraveling?

Maybe she was overthinking things again, but he was her friend. Hell, she would even consider him a best friend if he felt the same way as she did, but she was grateful that she had that with him. It was a dangerous move, finding this way to attach herself to him in more ways than simply lust. This boasted emotion. A lot of it, and it had her thinking. The absence of emotion in a relationship was nothing more than some mindless lust - the usual affairs which no person would think twice about. But, they were friends. They shared more than intimacy with one another. Did that make them any more than the typical fling? Could this be more?

Could this be love?

Mollie kind of hoped that it was. She felt really happy with him.

Even if he was an annoying asshole.

Lowering the cue onto the table, Mollie twisted around and leaned against the pool table, eyes curiously watching Freddie approach. She took her next drink from him, taking a sip before she began to snicker playfully. She hadn’t even said anything yet, but the way the pair of them exchanged glances so intense, so powerful, it was enough to fill her to the brim with joy. ❝ You’re really missing out, Freddie Stirling. ❞ She then quirked a daring brow, watching him with careful eyes as she said, ❝ If you had that jukebox then we could be dancing right now. I bet you got two left feet though; that’s why you don’t have a jukebox, huh? That's your secret, right? ❞ She teased, so evidently trying to gain a reaction from him. She knew what he was like - he'd be itching to prove her wrong.

Dammit. She hated the fact that every moment spent with him only made her crave him more.

[freddie]

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— although very little knew it, fred was more guarded than he let on. years spent tucking away the more intimate parts of himself, portraying only the kind of person he wanted people to see. hardly anyone outside of his family knew the true darkness that hid under his skin, the horrifying and macabre scene within. after so long of perfecting this portrayal, fred convinced himself it was merely a tactic to protect himself. he didn’t want others to see him as a threat that needed to be taken out. though, the longer he kept the act going, the more he began to realize it was to protect those around him.

there was something in him that was dangerous, out of control, and unwanted by many. if anyone were to see the gruesome and morbid parts of himself, they would be sure to turn their backs on him in a heartbeat. he was fine with that; he couldn’t blame them. though, he had to admit, sometimes those parts started to show without him even trying. terrified of letting someone in to parts of himself that he had once kept under lock and key, he flinched away- expected those he grew close to to turn their back on him without a second thought.

though when he looked over to see playful smirks or amused, pale eyes, he came to realize that he must have locked away his heart at some point, as well. freddie didn’t ask to feel this flood of emotions so deeply. though mollie hawthorne came into his life, and she seemed to have the key that nobody else did. with her came a wave of emotions and feelings that felt almost foreign to him, strong enough to sweep him up in the current, barely managing to keep his head above the water.

fred didn’t know how it happened. they weren’t meant to be this close. no matter which way you looked at it, they simply weren’t meant to be. mollie, skeptical in just about everything. the closer she looked at the man in front of her, the more she would come to realize how little there truly was for her to grasp onto with certainty. mollie struggled to trust; freddie was painfully deceitful. he was harsh, and twisted, hands cold from years of holding war in his hands rather than someone else’s heart. if anyone dared place their trust in him, put their heart in his hands, fred would only cause that person pain. mollie hated to take a risk on just anyone, and taking a risk on frederick stirling was dangerous. the only thing he knew how to do was hurt people; she wouldn’t be any different.

it was disastrous. it was terrifying. for the first time in his life, fred was scared of hurting someone. for the first time in his life, fred was scared that he was going to get hurt just as much. what was this feeling? where did it come from? fred hated to admit it when he didn’t know; he much preferred to ignore the unknown and simply enjoy the ride.

and this ride was so excitingly divine. “you really need a jukebox in here.” eyes wandered over from the packed boxes to look towards mollie. filled to the brim with quiet amusement, he shook his head as he watched her point to a corner in the room. “you’re just full of ideas, aren’t you?” he huffed briefly, turning his head back down to his work. he smiled to himself as he added, “bad ideas, but ideas nonetheless.” he glanced at her to watch for her reaction at the lighthearted insult, though it seemed like she was already more preoccupied with the pool table by that point.

he took in the way she closed one eye, preparing her shot - fred hated how adorable he found her in that moment. it made him feel sick. finishing everything up, he grabbed two drinks before making his way over towards her. she didn’t pocket any of the balls on the table, though he seemed a bit kinder towards her as he handed her another drink, adding, “you would still kick my ass.” he was far better at pool than she was and he knew it. though there was something about her that made him put his pride aside from time to time.

taking a sip from his drink, his eyes turned towards her. just the electricity in their shared glances alone made him desperately crave for more. his chest felt lighter; it was so sweet that it was almost sickening. “you’re really missing out, freddie stirling.” he raised his brows, briefly hesitating before a soft huff started to pass his lips once she talked. she just would not let this jukebox idea go. and there she was, challenging him, obviously trying to rile him up enough to prove her wrong. oh, mollie knew him too well. it was almost worrisome how well she truly knew him.

he placed his drink down at a table nearby. “mollie hawthorne,” he dramatically announced, taking bold steps closer towards her. placing a hand on the small of her back, he pulled her close. “prepare to be amazed.” and there, without music, the two of them started to sway without music. fred couldn’t help the grin that made its way to his lips, a short laugh, overjoyed in that moment.

“see, watch this-” he didn’t give her any other warning before suddenly dipping her. he held her there a moment, eyes searching hers. a familiar feeling flooded his senses, made him feel weak. he quickly brought her back onto both feet again, huffing a short breath as they continued to dance around the empty bar. he swiveled his gaze around the place, clearing his throat, trying to ignore the flutter in his chest. “not bad for two left feet, huh?”

she was right; freddie really was missing out.

[MOLLIE.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 1.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]Exactly what kind of people were Mollie and Fred was a difficult question to answer. Were they good people? Deserving of love? Deserving of each other? Perhaps they were inexplicably ignorant and naive, unaware of what love really looked like. Mollie could justify her own inexperience with love, but was she and Freddie alike in more ways than they first imagined?

Mollie narrowed her eyes at him and then turned to preoccupy herself with a game of pool instead. ❝ You’re just full of ideas, aren’t you? ❞ She could already see where Freddie was daring to go with this, and her lips opened just enough to tug into a wry smile. ❝ Bad ideas, but ideas nonetheless. ❞ Stilling with the pool cue aimed at the cue ball, Mollie gave the man a side glance, seemingly unimpressed with his comment before she looked back towards the game ahead, remarking with a growing grin, ❝ Have you got any better ideas? ❞ She questioned.

A clatter echoed through the otherwise quiet room as she struck the cue ball, a multitude of colors scattering in all directions on the table. She wasn’t skilled in this game, and it was clear in the way none of the balls disappeared after being pocketed. Lowering the cue down onto the table, Mollie swiveled around so that she could watch Fred approach her instead. Time spent with him would be more valuable than any game of 8-ball. ❝ You would still kick my ass. ❞ Fred pointed out.

It wasn’t like him to be so generous with his words whenever he spoke to the majority - his pride so often got in the way. Mollie wasn’t the majority, though; at least she felt that way whenever she was around him. There was something about the way he treated her which made her feel as if, even for a moment, she meant something to him.

❝ Yeah, you can bet on it. ❞ Mollie retorted teasingly, and she gave him little more than a playful quirk of the brow as he wandered over. For good measure, she used her pointer finger to nudge one of the nearby balls into the pocket beside her, adding, ❝ I’m already winning. ❞ She could not deny those feelings of butterflies which tore through her; the way the pain of falling for a man so broken felt so sweet, even whilst the pain of holding all his pieces together would do nothing more than hurt her in the end.

Her playful taunting seemed to do the trick. She possessed the unique ability to aggravate nearly anyone that had met her acquaintance, but she truly did adore Freddie in her very own way. Her way of showing this devotion was simply one that was strange, like pushing his chest if he got to close or, in this case, goading him for a reaction. When Freddie lowered his drink onto the nearby table, Mollie observed the determination to please her in the man’s eyes. It was that very look made up of a tenacious single-mindedness that glimmered in those blue eyes. Mollie, upon gazing into those eyes, came to realize just how much he meant to her.

She was whisked away into a dance, two bodies taut against one another as she followed Fred’s movements with an uninhibited laugh. He possessed such showmanship that he could make any playful comment dazzling. This was amazing to Mollie, just because he said so. With arms dangling around him, Mollie shook her head slowly as their eyes met, silenced with stupefaction. The room was quiet yet filled with such warmth. No music, yet Fred’s overjoyed laughter sounded far sweeter to the ears.

Frederick Stirling was always full of surprises.

❝ See, watch this- ❞ Mollie had little time to acknowledge his words before he dipped her backwards. She gasped, lips parted with astonishment and eyes springing open wide, and no later than that did she then erupt with surprised giggling. In all of her awe, she felt transfixed as eyes stared up to search his. Her heart skipped a beat. No, she couldn’t deny that feeling. Did he feel it too? Next thing, she was back up on two feet again, the dancing partners gliding across the bar with a natural synergy. ❝ Not bad for two left feet, huh? ❞

❝ You are... ❞ Mollie could only try to search for the right words, but there were simply no words but one which could describe this feeling. ❝ unbelievable, Freddie. ❞ Unbelievable would never be enough to amount to how she really felt, but it was the closest she was willing to admit. It was the blatant truth. Unbelievable. It was not to be mistaken with unconvincing, but with incredible. He was too good to be true, and yet here he stood in the flesh, making her feel this way. She rolled her eyes but no eye rolling could deny the way her heart felt so full and alive in his presence.

A hand had already snaked up to comb fingers through the hair at the back of his head before she had even come to register what she was doing, silenced once more by a moment which felt so special to her - and probably only to her. He was right all along; they didn’t need a jukebox or music to make this dance feel so special. It required no more than a feeling for this to be so perfect.

The words ❛ I love you ❜ felt strangely compelling.

The confession was tempting. As if those words would burn at her tongue if she held onto it for too long. Yet it was surprising because, despite her heart slamming in her chest and the fear freezing muscles solid, that very same fear glowed so iridescently in her eyes. Perhaps it was anticipation. The will to reveal that perhaps she was losing control of her emotions.

She barely resisted the urge to tell him.

Mollie was the first to break that intimate look between the couple, tipping her head forwards to press her face against his collarbone. She lost all inhibition or control, trusting Freddie enough to guide the both of them in a gentle slow dance across the empty room. This was yet another of the many mistakes she’d make with Freddie. She knew how he felt close against her, the warmth so soothing to a woman who was raised without love. The way his chest reverberated with every warm word that he spoke, every chuckle that passed his lips. He was hilarious, he made her laugh. It was a dangerous charm that drew her in. She likely was not the first to fall for his tricks, and would certainly not be the last.

The way she carefully breathed him in… She wished that she could forever know him this way; the thought that someday she may forget the color of his eyes petrified her. She wanted him to be her forever.

She couldn't bear this tension.

❝ I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm- ❞ Her shaky, near tone-deaf singing was muffled against his shirt, followed by amused laughter as she continued to provide her own, ironic music in jest. A feeble attempt to shatter the intimate moment that they were sharing - she couldn't let herself love him. That would break her. ❝ Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool. ❞ Slowly beginning to sink her weight from side to side, Mollie tried dragging Fred along playfully as she swayed her body and sang.

Maybe she was just intoxicated, but Mollie was pretty certain she was in love.

She’d continue to tell herself that. Confessing her love to him would be a death wish.