THE GOOD IN ME // FRANKLIN

[roman.]

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— roman darrow didn’t think he was a man meant for love. the sappiness, the desire to go to the ends of the earth for someone. it all used to be completely lost to him. what was the point? there was no guarantee in life; there was no guarantee that there was someone out there that wouldn’t leave him hurt in the end. besides, if love was a two-way street, he was sure he would manage to mess it up somewhere down the line. hell, he used to think that love wasn’t meant for people like him. a warm heart gone cold from years of people coming and going in his life. a heart that wasn’t soft to the touch after years of neglect. a heart so scared of getting abandoned again, he was scared to ever try and let someone in.

but then franklin stirling-moray came into the picture. and it was with him where he was swept off his feet and into a whirlwind of feelings he was scared to initially feel. to think that of all the people at that wedding ceremony, and he had happened to pick frank to be with… it had felt like pure convenience at the time, but if he knew that the long, winding, broken road it lead him down at the time, maybe he would’ve believed in fate, then. all that he had done to frank… he didn’t deserve him. he had broken the man’s heart, watched the jagged edges of frank’s heart crumble even more right in front of him…

though it was with frank where the man had forgiven him, and done it with the gentlest heart, even while it was full of sharp and broken edges that could cut if one weren’t careful. it was down the line where rome learned that he liked the way it felt to hold that heart in his hands, how he didn’t mind the gentle prick of his fingertips. he tried to make frank’s heart feel whole again; it was what frank deserved and so much more. rome thought he couldn’t love, that he simply wasn’t meant for it. yet, with frank, the pieces all seemed to come together.

it all clicked slowly over time. piece by piece, he found each and every reason why he was so in love with frank. it was in the way he ran to him after the arson attack, quivering and shaking. that night, frank went through so much effort to make him feel at home. he treated roman with such kindness, without even being asked. it became apparent in the way he felt more at home with frank than without him. it was with frank where he felt at home. for so long, he looked around the world for a place to call home. how long did it take him to realize that “home” to him came in the form of pale blue eyes and a gentle heart? he’d made a home in frank’s heart; he didn’t ever plan on leaving.

all the fears he had, all the commitment issues, the fear of abandonment… none of that seemed to even matter when he was with frank. sometimes he found himself wondering why he even had it in the first place. it was easy to love frank. it was easy to love franklin stirling-moray because, no matter how many times he screwed up, no matter how many mistakes he made, frank was always there to pick him up when he fell. he helped him rise from the ashes after he got burned from his own mistakes; he’d gently wipe away the soot from his face without ro even asking him to. each night when they fell asleep, arms and legs tangled up comfortably, roman would close his eyes. and he knew. this was love. frank loved him so selflessly, love flowed in ways that it was as easy as breathing.

“it’s beautiful out here.” eyes wandered around the scenery, taking in the great canyons, the beautiful view. the dogs wandered aimlessly in the background, not thinking too much of this usual outing. everything felt normal, casual, nothing out of the usual. and roman wanted it that way; he hoped to surprise frank a little bit each and every day. his eyes eventually settled on frank, looking at the silhouette of his back against the slowly setting sun in the horizon. part of him knew they could stay like this forever and both be happy. there was no need to take another big step in their relationship, put an official title on it all to say that they’d be together for the rest of their lives. though there was the other part of him that wanted to make the declaration. the part of him that so perfectly envisioned the idea of the world knowing he loved frank. that he wasn’t going anywhere, and he wasn’t afraid to openly admit it to the world. he wanted the world to know; he wasn’t afraid like he once was.

nerves gently trembled his fingertips, the weight of the ring in his pocket seemingly growing heavier with each passing moment. his heart raced, trying not to appear as off as he felt. he couldn’t remember feeling this nervous before, even when he felt like frank wouldn’t push him away after he asked. he placed his hand in his pocket, fingers gently holding the ring. he took a deep breath. and, with frank’s back turned to him in that moment, he paused and then hastily took the ring out. holding it in both hands, eyes lingering on the band before slowly looking over towards frank. he had it for a while, found it at one of the shops in northstar and just knew it was the perfect one for franklin. he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. this was it.

shifting his weight, he slowly stepped out to kneel down on the ground. holding the ring in his hand, he tried to shake the nerves and manage up the calmest, most casual-sounding, “frank?” his heart hammered away in his chest, watching as frank turned around to face him-- and he swore the moment was enough for his heart to skip beats. this felt like the best decision roman had ever made; this felt so natural when frank’s eyes met his. and although there was so much he could say, so much that he could breathe out to give the longest speech of all the reasons why he wanted - needed frank in his life… he didn’t say it. the gesture was enough to speak more than words ever could.

eyes lingered on the love of his life, searching his features as he let out a trembling breath. he swallowed hard. “i love you.” words that were rarely said between them but so often felt... and if there was a time for his stoic features to crack, it was then. with lips twitching and just such an unspeakable fondness in his eyes for the man in front of him.. he couldn’t remember a time where he ever felt so happy.

“will you marry me?”

[STIRLING-MORAY]

#d69342[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]There was a man that Franklin Stirling-Moray fell in love with. He was a complete disaster. Benumbed and impossible to understand most days. Rough around the corners like broken glass from the many years of wear and tear, and yet Frank still craved his touch even whilst knowing that it’d only hurt him. This man that he loved was so damn stubborn and would try and defy the whole world with nothing more than snide words as his armour, weapons and cavalry and yet he managed to always do so so fearlessly. Cunning and deceptive, he always knew the right words to say to cover up true intentions. He was cold and hard to love, aloof and guarded with his heart. Roman Darrow was exceptionally flawed and Franklin knew of this very well, but he loved each and every flaw effortlessly.

That was what real love looked like.

At first, Frank embraced the feeling of falling for a man like Roman Darrow. He was charming, always wanted to prove himself to Frank. That was until Frank realized that the bastard had his own ulterior motives. Did he ever really care about Frank if he was pursuing another man? Nowadays, Frank could look back on the whole situation and laugh. Killian? Really? Roman had left Frank one day with a seemingly ever-shattered heart as he pressed his back against his closed bedroom door, trying desperately to contain the storm of anguish which was brewing within. Frank knew that he shouldn’t allow his tender heart so susceptible to the works of a con artist who only knew of one way to get what he wanted. Deceit was threaded into his DNA, it seemed - if only Frank had known what he was getting himself into.

It almost felt wrong for him to let Roman back in after breaking his heart. He was supposed to be better than that, wasn’t he? But the more Frank thought about it, the more he realized that Roman wasn’t perfect even though he was great at trying to convince Frank otherwise. Roman wasn’t perfect and nor was Frank. In fact, Frank was far from perfect. Guarded and selective with who he chose to place his trust in, it was also difficult to love a man like Frank. He was so nonchalant with most things in his life, the human incarnation of the words ❛ I don’t really give a shit ❜, and yet it was always clear to see in his eyes that a lot of the time he did actually give a shit. Perhaps he was quiet and mumbling, a big attitude enveloped by a seemingly soft spoken facade, but perhaps Roman and Frank were as troubled as each other.

And honestly, thank God he decided to give Roman another chance. Frank finally got to see the real him and was that an experience. Frank didn’t think that he could love a person even more than he loved the old Roman. This new, authentic Roman? Frank knew quickly that this was the man that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. They clicked. Perhaps both of them were two broken fragments of what they once were, but with that they could hold each other up, support each other and adore each other for all of their flaws. Their relationship felt comfortable and effortless, as if this was their normal. A marriage would not change the way they were together - it would only be a proclamation of their love and commitment, something which to a man like Roman would be the greatest promise that Frank could ever hear.

A man once so afraid of having his heart shattered, the thought of Roman trusting Frank enough to hold onto his heart and keep it safe felt like the greatest blessing.

For all of his life, Frank had been cold until he fell in love with him. That perfectly imperfect man that Frank was willing to put aside everything for. He left his home for Roman, left his family, left the life that he once knew for Roman, all whilst not fully knowing whether he could trust him yet. It was the greatest leap of faith Frank had taken in his life. Starting a new life with a man that had deceived him. Perhaps some would have called Frank foolish for doing so, but he had a good feeling about Roman Darrow. Maybe he hadn’t learned after the first time, or maybe he was willing to realize that people made mistakes, even someone as seemingly perfect to him as Roman.

He wanted to create a beautiful life for himself, and nothing felt as perfect as life with Roman. Ever since they moved in together, Frank felt so happy with this life. Whatever simplicity this was, Frank knew that he wanted to experience it in all of its glory for the rest of his days. A normal life with the man that he loved so much. Roman wasn’t always easy to love, but he gave love a definition so beautifully intense and meaningful to Frank. Roman helped Frank feel more alive than lost.

❝ It’s beautiful out here. ❞ It was beautiful out here, Frank contemplated to himself as he trudged across the dusty plains. The canyons were one of Frank’s favorite places to walk, a past time that the couple had fallen into like old routine. It was good in helping them break away from the occasional stresses of life in Bluestem Prairie. A chance for Roman to unwind after a taxing day as Second-in-Command. A chance for the couple to spend time together doing something that the both of them loved, a past time where the dogs - their family - could be included.

A couple of steps ahead, Frank peering across to admire the expanse views (that he and Roman had already seen many times before, but it didn’t stop Frank from feeling amazed by the views nonetheless). He rested his hands on his hips comfortably, spotting a lone tree in the near distance with its limbs splayed out oddly. As he always did at this point in the walk, Frank pointed to the tree before his arms fell to his sides, remarking monotonously, ❝ That tree is so cool. ❞ He didn’t need to hear Roman’s response - he was probably tired of hearing the same awe-struck comments from Frank every time they took a trip to the canyons. Frank couldn’t help it; it was his favorite place. He slowed to a stop, gazing around at the world around him.

Frank wasn’t sure he could feel any happier with his life. Roman would never realize how he had changed everything for him.

❝ Frank? ❞ Words were casual, Frank humming in acknowledgement as he continued to glance around at the scenery before finally looking over his shoulder at Roman. He stilled. There, on one knee, knelt Roman and, as Frank turned to face him, he couldn’t hide the stupefaction across his face. Lips parted gently, pale blues flitting across Roman’s features. ❝ I love you. ❞ Frank huffed a quiet breath, and it would be stupid to try to deny the sheer joy that he felt. All of this felt so perfect, so right. ❝ I know. ❞ Frank uttered back softly. They didn’t need to constantly express how much they loved each other because Frank knew. They both already knew.

Roman’s lips twitched, Frank’s lips quickly following suit with a hint of a knowing, eager smile. Frank already trusted that Roman would be his forever, but this would be the final proof. This love was real.

❝ Will you marry me? ❞

Frank was silent for a moment, gaze wandering across Roman’s features with such awe and adoration. And then, he began to laugh quietly to himself, lips tugging into the greatest smile. ❝ Duh. ❞ He huffed shortly, stepping closer to Roman with the happiest of grins riddling his lips as Roman stood up again. ❝ Of course I’ll marry you. ❞ He paused for a moment to take in the face of the man he would soon call his husband, shaking his head slowly before he leaned in to press a long and tender kiss against his lips.

This. This was what it felt like to be in love.