06-27-2019, 05:29 AM
C A T A L Y S T
[table]//tw for death/murder/violence/smoking
Fate was a funny thing. A twisted thing, but a funny thing.
In the middle of the night, their paranoid fear had come true. Derick had come for them, the man that had been the closest thing to a father they had, and had shaped them into the person they were today. And, just like they had promised themself, they had killed him. Which had been a mess unto itself, whether or not you counted the identity crisis that started in the aftermath.
But despite the fact that Cat had killed him and despite the fact that they had no desire to ever see the rest of his family or the people around them again, they had brought Derick's body back. That had been yet another ordeal, confronting Susie and the cult and digging the grave and filling it in. It had been a mess. And what did they return home to, when it was all said and done? Their father, a man that had left when they were three to die. Alive, there, along with a clusterfuck of other shit that they had to deal with.
But while in the moment they had dealt with the clusterfuck, they knew the bigger thing would be the fact that Austin was alive and there. Oh, how Fate must be laughing, first sending Derick to their door and then the man he had in some ways replaced. A man Cat hadn't even recognized. How hilarious She must think it is to watch them struggle to come to terms with the dozens of things that had been dropped on their plate in very short succession.
Don't get them wrong - they were glad that he was alive and here. They might have just killed Derick, but they weren't that fucked up, not enough to prefer it if their father had just died instead of survived. But the fact that he had lived complicated things, it had shattered so much of what they had thought they knew, and damnit they were saying it again but it complicated things. They didn't know how to un-complicate those things, or even if they wanted to.
It would be accurate to say that Cat had been avoiding Austin since he'd joined, putting off the conversation they knew they had to have. Their interactions were mostly superficial, not discussing the past and barely touching on the present. The denial they had been in with Molly, that they had only just worked through the night Derick died, was now abundantly there with him. They didn't want him to know all the things they had done to get where they were today, they didn't want him to know about Derick or the cult or much of anything. They scarcely wanted him aware of how the Badlands earned their name, but that was significantly harder to hide, especially with him attending Creed's rescue mission.
But it seems their time for avoiding the inevitable was up. Austin approached them, and they knew that they weren't going to get out of whatever he had in mind. That didn't mean they weren't going to try to distract from it. He had a cigarette between his lips, the first they had seen of any nicotine habits. They sighed heavily. "Not you too."
He frowned at them and took the cigarette out of his mouth. "What?"
Cat gestured to the cancerous stick between his fingers. "That." They weren't sure what was worse - Molly smoking and shattering their understanding of her, or Austin smoking despite all his past health issues.
The older man sighed, but put the cigarette back between his lips and took a drag. "Didn't think I'd have to worry about such harsh judgement." He removed it from his lips again and flicked some of the ash away, returning it to his mouth once more.
"That's what you get for thinking." They grumbled under their breath. "First Mom, now you. You know she smokes?" They were pretty sure they were going to need eye bleach in order to get the image of Addy lighting Molly's cigarette out of their head.
Austin rolled his eyes, frown actually fading into a faint smile. "Yeah, I know she smokes." He paused, eyeing them. "Doesn't your boyfriend smoke?"
Well, he kinda had them there, but marijuana and nicotine were two very different things. "Weed is not the same as a fugging cigarette." It was pretty much the only drug that didn't bother them on some fundamental level. It didn't destroy your body, nor did the high make you oblivious or complacent.
He squinted at "fugging", no doubt silently commenting on their way of pronouncing "fucking". They didn't care. "Whatever you say, kiddo."
No. They were getting worked up and pissed off now. "No, come on, it's not the same and it's not okay. If you get - if you get fugging cancer, there's no where for you to go to to get better. You'll just die." They were realizing a fear in that moment, one they'd never known to be afraid of. They'd always thought their father was dead, killed by some illness when they were little more than a toddler - and now here he was. What would they do if he really did die, just after they'd gotten him back?
Oh god, that'd be just fucking like Her. And he wasn't helping - puffing away like he wanted to get sick again. They knew habits like those died hard, but why would he pick it up in the first place? Austin sighed. "I've been living on borrowed time for a long time, Scott. If I die tomorrow, I'll be happy because I got to see you and Molly again." No. No.
They hated that idea. They hated the idea that he might get ripped away from them for good this time. That it could happen at any moment. "That's not good enough."
Austin sighed again and turned to face them. "It's not? You're upset because if I died tomorrow, you'll have hardly spent any time with your old man?" Yes. They didn't want to admit it, but yes. "How long have I been here, Scott? More than enough time for us to have more than passing conversation."
They hated that too, that he was right. They had plenty of time to reconnect with him, they just hadn't taken it. "I've got a group to lead and a family to raise. You've seen me. You've talked to me. Where the fuck have you been for the past eighteen years?"
Well. There it was. He took a long drag off his cigarette before replying. "Been wondering when you were gonna bring that up." He ducked his head. "I had my reasons too, kid. Better than yours, even."
Tears sprang into their eyes, which only added to their fury. They wiped at their eyes, wishing that was the end of it, but no, more just replaced the ones that had been brushed away. "Yeah? You walked out. We needed you and you walked out. You said you'd come back if you got better, but you didn't. We thought you were dead." They had to stop before they said something they'd regret.
"So that's why you've been avoiding me." Austin stubbed his cigarette and flicked it away. "You're mad that I left."
Cat shook their head. "I'm not mad you left. I'm mad that you didn't come back." What was the alternative to him leaving? Him passing away at home, leaving Molly to clean up the mess and deal with the trauma? How could they say he should have stayed and died, when leaving was what saved his life?
"I didn't have a choice, Scott. I had to repay my dues to the hospital, and once that was done I was kidnapped and brought to a prison labor camp. It took me years to get out, and when I finally did, you and Molly weren't at home anymore." He reached into his pocket and took out a piece of what, paper? "I never stopped trying to find you."
He held out the bit of paper, and after a moment Cat took it and looked down. It was a photograph of a dark haired woman laying in a hospital bed with a baby in her arms. Molly... So that must be them. Feelings they couldn't explain or identify filled them, and they shoved it back into his hands. "That doesn't prove your story."
Austin raked a hand through his graying hair. "You don't believe me?" He seemed sort of... incredulous and hurt, but that was buried. He was trying to hide it, but he wasn't very good at it. Or maybe they were just too good at reading people; they'd inadvertently convinced some of the cultists of Mourningstar that they were a mind reader, but they already thought that Cat was a god so it wasn't hard. The hard part was convincing them otherwise - they had tried, but Honey and the others hadn't wanted to believe them. Because they just believed in them that much. It was weird.
They shrugged helplessly. "I dunno... It's convenient, don't you think? You're away from us for all that time through no fault of your own... Maybe Mom knows you well enough to make a judgement on whether or not she can believe it, but I don't." It hurt to say, it really did. They didn't enjoy it any more than their father - and their father, his face crumpled.
He tried to compose himself before replying, but he didn't do a very good job. "It wasn't convenient. Nothing about it was convenient, I was a slave for years. I've got the scars to prove it."
They could even see in his face that life hadn't been kind to their father, but they knew that he could see the same in theirs. "I've been a slave too. Not as long as you, but I was. And I've been held in the highest esteem you can be." A god. "I've got more scars from that than anything else. But if tomorrow someone tried to take me away from my family, I wouldn't let them. Nothing could keep me from Gav and Mo, so I dunno what was so insurmountable that you couldn't get back to me and mom."
He rounded them. "I did do everything I could to get back to you. I never gave up, don't give me shit for how long it took. I did my best." He took out another cigarette from his pocket along with a lighter. Cat huffed as he lit it, stepping away from him to avoid the smoke. "This isn't how I imagined this going." He muttered.
"This isn't how I imagined it either." They said, crossing their arms. "I've imagined this a lot, I never thought it'd be like this."
This gave Austin pause, and he looked over at them with an expression that was difficult to read. Shame? Sorrow? Something else? "You thought about that a lot?"
Cat shrugged uncomfortably, tears prickling at their eyes again. "What kid that grew up without a dad doesn't think about what it would be like if he just magically showed up?" They wiped at their eyes again. They were trying to shut down, to stop feeling, get control of themself, but it wasn't working.
Their father released a long breath, visible in the afternoon air in the form of a cloud of smoke. "I'm sorry you grew up without me, Scott. If you really want, you can blame me, but I just want to focus on right now and what we do going forward."
There was an unsaid question in the words - what would they do going forward? They didn't know. They'd been without him for so long, even longer than they had been without Molly, they didn't know how to make room for him. "I don't know, Dad. This is it. This is my life - it's busy and I can hardly make time for the people that were already here." They didn't know what the fuck they were saying. "I don't know what you expect or want from me."
Austin took a drag off the cigarette, taking it out of his mouth before blowing the smoke out. "I don't know either, Scott. I've been gone a long time, and I'm trying to figure out where I fit in here. I already have something in mind for your mom, and I wanna get to know you better. You and Gav."
They couldn't help but scoff and roll their eyes, wiping once again at the lingering tears. "If your goal is to get to know me, you might wanna set your sights on something else. People don't just get to know me. Not even Mom did." His face shifted again, sadness clawing its way onto his features. They almost felt bad. "What are you planning for Mom?" They asked, changing the subject.
His eyes lit up. "Don't breathe a word of this to her, but I'm gonna ask her to marry again." They raised their eyebrow. "I think it'd be nice for us to renew our vows after we've been apart for so long, you know?" Cat nodded; the whole marriage thing wasn't something they were all that knowledgeable on (they knew they didn't want to get married, at least), and they knew even less about renewing vows. "You're alright with that, right?"
The question caught them off guard; why would he care what they thought about it? "Why wouldn't I be? Why ask me?"
Austin shrugged. "You don't seem to like me very much. I'm basically a stranger to you, and I want to marry your mother. Even if she is already my wife." He took another drag. "Besides, you're basically the only man in her life now. Or, er, well, the closest she's got." He corrected, noticing their narrowed eyes.
"That's an archaic fugging reason, but okay I guess." The first thing they could sort of get, and could appreciate the intention behind it. The second thing... ugh. Molly didn't need anyone to permit her to get married, she could do whatever the fuck she wanted. Would that still be their opinion if it was anyone other than their father? No, probably (definitely) not, but that wasn't a concern right now, was it?
"You're okay with it?"
Cat nodded uncomfortably. "Yeah, I mean, really. You guys are already married, so it won't change anything. And if it makes you both happy, why not?"
Austin's next action surprised them: he hugged them, quite suddenly and rather tightly. Cat just stood there, startled and unsure what to do. Even counting this one, they could count on one hand the number of embraces they'd gotten even remotely recently, and one of those was a baby. He kept hugging them for several long moments, waiting for them to return it, before eventually giving up and stepping away. "Uh,"
Before their father could say anything else or Cat could respond, someone was calling their name and striding towards them. A welcome diversion.
OOC: wtf this turned out longer than expected uhh. yeah this can be replied to and y/c can be the one approaching, or y'all can just track and comment and we can say it was an npc that interrupted
[spoiler=IF YOU DONT KNOW NOW YOU KNOW && INFO && 06/11/19]GENERAL welcome to the end of eras, ice has melted back to life
⇥ Given name is Scott Mathew Darrow ⇥ Goes only by Catalyst or Cat
⇥ Assigned male at birth ⇥ Agender ⇥ They/Them pronouns only
⇥ Twenty-one ⇥ Born 11/27/17 ⇥ Sagittarius ⇥ Real time aging
⇥ Boss (leader) of the Badlands ⇥ Ex prisoner of the Badlands
⇥ Ex cultist (Mourningstar) ⇥ Ex member of the Young Rogues
RECENT EVENTS done my time and served my sentence
⇥ 05/31/39 ⇥ Went on a mission to rescue Creed from the Insurrection
⇥ 05/26/39 ⇥ Reunited with their father
⇥ 05/26/39 ⇥ Cat returned to the Badlands
APPEARANCE dress me up and watch me die
⇥ Catalyst is 6'2" tall; they possess a lean and muscular body, one that has a variety of old scars adorning it. One of the easiest to notice is one that stretches down their right cheek. While not a scar, one very notable marking on their chest is the "BL" brand. They have two piercings, one in their tongue and the other in the cartilage of their left ear. They typically dress in dark colors (favoring jackets with some sort of writing on the back), and their hair is black. They're not all dark, however, as they have pale blue eyes that peer out from beneath medium-sized eyebrows.
PERSONALITY if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine
⇥ Catalyst is ambitious, with the cunning and ruthlessness to reach their goals by any means necessary. They can be brutal when they feel it is needed, however when it's not they won't bother. They tend to be rather aloof and apathetic to most things and people, with some very rare exceptions. Provided those around them don't cross a few specific lines, they're content to leave them be, though they've been known to take an interest in some people, which seldom has a positive end for whoever their interest is in. They can be manipulative, and will often encourage people to make bad decisions. Those that stick by them will be rewarded, but those that do not will be cast out, as they've been outcast for their entire life and have learned to appreciate loyalty wherever they can find it. Even during the most stressful of situations, they usually keep a firm grip on their temper and keep their calm, though when they do snap and lose their temper, it is uncontrollable. They're remarkably observant, often able to deign much from subtle clues in what people say, how they say it and how they act.
RELATIONS dynasty decapitated, you just might see a ghost tonight
⇥ Molly Darrow x Austin Darrow ⇥ No siblings
⇥ Adopted parent of Molly Valentina Darrow-Lupei (Mo)
⇥ Pansexual/Panromantic ⇥ Very much taken ⇥ One Crush
⇥ Not looking but it happened ⇥ Rarely forms romantic attachment
⇥ Holds most people at arms length and doesn't get close
INTERACTION i'm taking back the c r o w n
⇥ Hard physically ⇥ Hard mentally ⇥ Doesn't let their guard down
⇥ Is most comfortable with close ranged-weapons ⇥ Dislikes guns
⇥ Brass knuckles ⇥ A variety of knives ⇥ Carries a handgun
⇥ Will kill/capture/maim in certain circumstances
⇥ Will leave things be in others ⇥ Will start & finish fights
⇥ No kill/capture/maim without permission
⇥ Peaceful powerplay allowed but they may react negatively
⇥ Dislikes almost any sort of touch unless they initiate or agree to it
[/spoiler]
I HAD THIS FEELING THAT YOU'D BETRAY ME ——————
IF I GAVE TOO MUCH AND YOU TOOK TOO MUCH ——————
there's blood on the leaves / there's blood on the sands I ——————
FEEL HIS GRACE S L O W L Y RUNNING OUT ——————
GIVE ME TRUTH GIVE ME A WAY OUT (I GOT A BONE TO PICK) ——————
[align=center]SOMEBODY [I]SHOWED YOU ALL OF THE HORRORS YOU WEREN'T BORN WITH IT ——————