tw. implied effects of depression, drug use
A thin blade slid across his skin with the greatest of precision. It was clear by his steady hand that he was born to be a surgeon, however this blade was very far from performing any procedures today. Lucerne stared into the mirror dully before he lowered his gaze into the sink in which he'd filled it with the salty saline of the ocean. Dipping the blade into the water allowed hair to float away from the metal before he returned the razor back to his face to continue shaving.
It was about time he made himself presentable once more. Despite still struggling to overcome his mental anguishes in life, he knew that he had to begin to look at least somewhat presentable at least for his own sanity, if not for others' sanity. After all, it was growing clearer by the day that the man did not look after himself like he used to. Stubble across the bottom half of his face and sunken eyes made it clear that exhaustion was close to enveloping him. Clothes unwashed for days - dress shirts had gone from pristine to Lucerne barely buttoning them all the way up from sheer tiredness. Blazers turned into silken night robes, and dress shoes slowly turned into bare feet.
He stopped leaning on the sink for a moment to raise his other hand to his lips, taking a puff of a cigarette. He often kept his vices hidden from sight, a habit that only an addict would be guilty of, but the pinpoint pupils and burn marks on his fingertips could not be kept a secret from the public eye. Staring into the mirror glumly, Lucerne was still for one moment before slowly exhaling smoke, clouding his reflection. And then, resting his one hand on the sink once more, cigarette lodged between his fingers, he got to work once more to remove the last of the stubble.
As he finished his work, he lazily dumped both blade and cigarette into the full sink before turning and striding out. With one quick ruffle of his hair, he buttoned up his dress shirt and left his room looking like a new man. Almost. He was out of it, in quite an induced daze as he walked through the Badlands' territory, before freezing. Eyes squinted as he peered down at a flower bed, hesitating for a moment before slinking over, leaning down and then plucking a flower from its stem. He straightened up again, breathing in its faint floral scent before frowning. Oh, was he nonsensical sometimes.
[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family:raleway; font-size: 12px;"][spoiler=tags :: updated 4/15] basics.
⫸ wilhelm lucerne nouvel // no known nicknames
⫸ goes by his middle name, lucerne
⫸ male // he/him
⫸ thirty three // ages real time // born fourteenth february
⫸ medic for the badlands // formerly a loner
⫸ joined BL - twenty first february
appearance.
⫸ faceclaim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ voice claim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ speaks with a received pronunciation british accent
⫸ 6'2ft // tall and lithe // very little muscle mass
⫸ cold, china blue eyes and disheveled, dark brunet hair
⫸ physical health - 100%
 current injuries: none as of now
⫸ mental health - 70%
 has been showing signs of major depressive disorder
personality.
⫸ enigmatic and difficult to understand
⫸ astute and intellectual // generally very logical in his way of thinking
⫸ self-absorbed and overly prideful // massive god complex
⫸ lack of empathy and often insincere // evident sociopathic tendencies
⫸ assertive, blunt and arrogant // strong, unwavering opinions
⫸ analytical and perceptive // often good at figuring things out at breakneck speed
⫸ overly motivated and stubborn // it's often his way or the highway
⫸ chronic boredom, often acts out childishly based on this
⫸ fastidious and a known perfectionist
⫸ unpredictable and notably unhinged // makes it difficult to get on with him
⫸ a total narcissist in many ways
⫸ aloof and incredibly socially awkward // very antisocial in general
⫸ a complete drama queen // incredibly theatrical and melodramatic
⫸ breathes sarcasm // snide and often witty with his quips
⫸ silently a very sensitive and introverted soul // worries about what others think
⫸ self-conscious towards how people react towards him // this makes him withdrawn
relationships.
⫸ wilhelm nouvel x annette nouvel // one older brother [deceased]
⫸ aromantic asexual // not interested in any romance
⫸ has taken a liking towards addy douglas
 sees him as his person
 doesn't view their relationship as romantic
 loyalty lies with him entirely
interaction.
⫸ storage // plot
⫸ physically: medium // mentally: hard
⫸ owns a pistol but finds the idea of injuring somebody very difficult
⫸ dislikes getting into physical fights as he's not very good at fighting
⫸ would much rather die than kill somebody else
⫸ will be acting out of character as he is still grieving over the loss of his brother
⫸ TW. he is an active drug addict // cocaine, heroin and opioids such as morphine
 some interactions with him may be whilst he is under the influence of said drugs
[/spoiler]
[align=center]
I'LL USE YOU AS A WARNING SIGN
[div style="width: 400px; font-family: georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 6pt; line-height: 1; letter-spacing: 1.1px; word-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px;"]THAT IF YOU TALK ENOUGH SENSE THEN YOU'LL LOSE YOUR MIND
[align=center][div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 420px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: black"]
 addy had been around lucerne for years. literal years. the first time he’d met him, he’d been relatively put-together. if he’d ever been relatively normal in his life, then addy must’ve never got to witness it, because mentally he’d already been off his rocker-- but at least physically, he looked like a man who acted like he had it together. he dressed a hell of a lot better than addy, which wasn’t saying much but.. it was at least something.
over the years, though, both appearance-wise and mentally, lucerne seemed to take a slow decline. it had happened so slowly that the redhead almost hadn’t even noticed it. he thought through all these years that addy himself had been losing pieces of himself, falling apart at the seams - and he’d been so focused on himself, that he hadn’t even noticed the person he’d been with all the years, loved all these years, was now a completely different man. a shell of who he used to be when even addy had first met him. the worst part of it all was that he felt like he could’ve done something to help lucerne through the steady decline. instead, everything he did only made it worse, didn’t it?
if anything, add felt like he’d made the man hit rock bottom. after that night… his hand hovered briefly over the spot on his abdomen, gently tracing over his shirt where the scar would be. he’d always given lucerne so much shit about having that one moral, that one little promise to himself-- never take a life. and addy had taken that moral from him. guilt so constantly ate at him ever since that moment, and for many reasons. but the whole point of it was that he’d taken away the moral, and with that, it seemed like lucerne had completely let himself go--
that was what he’d figured until he turned his head and saw lucerne, actually looking presentable. addy had been sitting on the grass, watching the ocean, contemplating a whole bunch of shit (he had a lot on his mind, lately, always had a lot on his mind)-- though seeing the man smelling a flower like a fucking princess was definitely enough to derail him from his thoughts. standing up and strolling over, he crossed his arms over his chest as he walked closer. “look at you.†looking a lot more presentable. looking great, honestly (all things considered). he paused for a moment, glancing at the flower in his hand before questioning, “what, never smelled a flower before?†there was slight amusement in his eyes as he glanced over at the man. and something seemed off, but he didn’t question it. he never questioned it.
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[align=center] bio - @elysian - tags
[align=center] [div style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; line-height: 13.5px; text-align: justify; padding: 4px; color: #000000; opacity: .75"] "speech" 'thought' text
tws thoughts of violence, blood, murder, mentions of alcohol, religion, injury, broken bones, blood
Michael had been out for a stroll, well, a limp. His leg was still sore from the shot he'd suffered a month prior, though it was doing much better now. The dark haired man frowned slightly as he neared the scene in front of him. Milky with a flower and Red poking fun at him, not that Mike minded, hell he poked fun at the both of them... did it a lot.
He let his hands slide into his pockets tilting his head to the side slightly as he stopped a few feet from the two, observing them in silence for a full minute before he spoke. "Heya Milkman, stopping to smell the roses?" He inquired affably. He held no animosity towards either, he honestly hadn't formed much of an opinion on either of them, though that would most likely change in the future.
He offered a tight smile to Addy, "Heya Red, how's it going?" Was he trying to incite a negative reaction from Addy? Perhaps, after all, he had to have his fun in some way, and he was trying very hard not to let his temper control him, instead controlling it.
[align=center] MICHAEL FORD Michael Ford is a 45 year old, man, he's stubbornly loyal to whatever cause he chooses, protective of his family and friends, he's a member of the Badlands. Michael has issues controlling his anger in most situations. He is a difficult opponent and well trained, feel free to power play nonviolent interactions though.
C A T A L Y S T
[table] | | | | | | | | | [/table]
//I originally thought about making this retro, but no
//tw for references to death/violence/murder
Any time you saw Cat bloodied up, dirty, sweaty, or unshaven, that was out of their norm. Granted, they'd displayed their injuries and the blood under their nails a fair bit in the last few months, but was to prove a point. They had stopped wanting to hide their injuries and live in the shadows. They took the blows rained down on them and they stood up even taller than before.
They had healed a significant amount since then, though, most of the wounds little more than scars now. And after getting home and resting and finally getting clean... they felt like a goddamn person again. They had killed the man that raised them in a pretty fucking brutal way, dragged his body back to his family, dug his grave, then came home. There hadn't been much time to eat or sleep, let alone keep up their usual good habits with hygiene.
Now that they were back, however, they'd washed the last few weeks events out, whatever remaining blood or dirt was gone, and they had shaved away the beard that had grown while they were away. At long last, they felt themself again. Or as much themself as they could with the copious amounts of self doubt they'd been kicking under the rug to deal with at a later date.
Lucerne was crouching by some flower beds, smelling the blooms, and Addy and Mike were more or less teasing him for it. "First you smell the flowers. Then you start picking them, then you start making daisy chains, then you start giving them out to people." They gasped dramatically. "By god, he's going soft on us." If the increasingly theatrical tone wasn't enough of an indication, the eye roll should be enough to clue everyone in that they thought this was ridiculous. "Or he's just. You know. Smelling one of the few nice smells we've got to offer." Really, so the fuck what?
[spoiler=IF YOU DONT KNOW NOW YOU KNOW && INFO && 05/26/19] GENERAL welcome to the end of eras, ice has melted back to life
⇥ Given name is Scott Mathew Darrow ⇥ Goes only by Catalyst or Cat
⇥ Assigned male at birth ⇥ Agender ⇥ They/Them pronouns only
⇥ Twenty-one ⇥ Born 11/27/17 ⇥ Sagittarius ⇥ Real time aging
⇥ Boss (leader) of the Badlands ⇥ Ex prisoner of the Badlands
⇥ Ex cultist (Mourningstar) ⇥ Ex member of the Young Rogues
RECENT EVENTS done my time and served my sentence
⇥ 05/26/39 ⇥ Cat returned to the Badlands
⇥ 05/17/39 ⇥ Left to bring Derick's body home
⇥ 05/17/39 ⇥ Had a bit of an identity crisis start
⇥ 05/17/39 ⇥ Made up with Molly, had a heart to heart with Gavril
⇥ 05/17/39 ⇥ Had a confrontation with Derick and killed him
APPEARANCE dress me up and watch me die
⇥ Catalyst is 6'2" tall; they possess a lean and muscular body, one that has a variety of old scars adorning it. One of the easiest to notice is one that stretches down their right cheek. While not a scar, one very notable marking on their chest is the "BL" brand. They have two piercings, one in their tongue and the other in the cartilage of their left ear. They typically dress in dark colors (favoring jackets with some sort of writing on the back), and their hair is black. They're not all dark, however, as they have pale blue eyes that peer out from beneath medium-sized eyebrows.
PERSONALITY if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine
⇥ Catalyst is ambitious, with the cunning and ruthlessness to reach their goals by any means necessary. They can be brutal when they feel it is needed, however when it's not they won't bother. They tend to be rather aloof and apathetic to most things and people, with some very rare exceptions. Provided those around them don't cross a few specific lines, they're content to leave them be, though they've been known to take an interest in some people, which seldom has a positive end for whoever their interest is in. They can be manipulative, and will often encourage people to make bad decisions. Those that stick by them will be rewarded, but those that do not will be cast out, as they've been outcast for their entire life and have learned to appreciate loyalty wherever they can find it. Even during the most stressful of situations, they usually keep a firm grip on their temper and keep their calm, though when they do snap and lose their temper, it is uncontrollable. They're remarkably observant, often able to deign much from subtle clues in what people say, how they say it and how they act.
RELATIONS dynasty decapitated, you just might see a ghost tonight
⇥ Molly Darrow x Austin Darrow ⇥ No siblings
⇥ Adopted parent of Molly Valentina Darrow-Lupei (Mo)
⇥ Pansexual/Panromantic ⇥ Very much taken ⇥ One Crush
⇥ Not looking but it happened ⇥ Rarely forms romantic attachment
⇥ Holds most people at arms length and doesn't get close
INTERACTION i'm taking back the c r o w n
⇥ Hard physically ⇥ Hard mentally ⇥ Doesn't let their guard down
⇥ Is most comfortable with close ranged-weapons ⇥ Dislikes guns
⇥ Brass knuckles ⇥ A variety of knives ⇥ Carries a handgun
⇥ Will kill/capture/maim in certain circumstances
⇥ Will leave things be in others ⇥ Will start & finish fights
⇥ No kill/capture/maim without permission
⇥ Peaceful powerplay allowed but they may react negatively
⇥ Dislikes almost any sort of touch unless they initiate or agree to it
[/spoiler]
I HAD THIS FEELING THAT YOU'D BETRAY ME ——————
IF I GAVE TOO MUCH AND YOU TOOK TOO MUCH ——————
there's blood on the leaves / there's blood on the sands I ——————
FEEL HIS GRACE S L O W L Y RUNNING OUT ——————
GIVE ME TRUTH GIVE ME A WAY OUT (I GOT A BONE TO PICK) ——————
[align=center] SOMEBODY [I]SHOWED YOU ALL OF THE HORRORS YOU WEREN'T BORN WITH IT ——————
 Lucerne's thoughts had been interrupted by white noise. A low ringing in his ears, sounded like voices. In slow motion, he breathed in deeply, the floral scent enveloping his senses, before exhaling. Eyes peeled open slowly to reveal two figured stood nearby him, the tall and limber man raising his head, lips parted and eyes distant and almost glazed over as he searched Addy and Mike's gazes. They'd been talking, words barely audible enough for him to try and guess what they'd been saying. Perhaps he'd been stood like a fool for several seconds, gawking over at the two men, flower falling from between his fingertips before he could somewhat snap back into reality.
As if he was suddenly functioning once more, he blinked, snapping his jaw closed before uttering to himself, "Oh, uh.." Eyes lowered to the flower that had since fallen to the ground, quick to lean down to pick it up again. "Looked edible." A flower so inconspicuous, so normal...
He was making little sense.
This had always been a difficulty in reading the man. He always had made little sense. He was by no means of unsound mind but perhaps Lucerne's brain worked in a different way. It was what he would tell himself, anyway. He never thought like them, spoke like them, hell he was nothing like them. He was strange, but strange was what made him Lucerne. But, with that being said, there was a very fine line between strange and being so inebriated that even he barely recognized his self-destructive actions.
Eyebrows furrowed towards Addy, chin tipping upwards as he searched the man's gaze. He appeared amused, yet Lucerne could not understand what could possibly be so amusing. Next, shifty eyes turned to Mike, the man asking him a lighthearted question. "Well, Michael, everything is coming up roses, one might say." He mumbled, cracking a smile, although it was as unintentionally arrogant and snide as usual, before Cat approached and commented.
Lucerne took a small step back, knees feeling slightly weak. He quickly tossed the plant aside as they began to talk about him growing soft, before Lucerne realized they were in fact defending his actions. Or more so, dismissing them unlike the other two. "Just trying to enjoy the finer things in life. La joie de vivre! Try it someday, perhaps it will make you - make you all more pleasant to associate myself with."
[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family:raleway; font-size: 12px;"][spoiler=tags :: updated 4/15] basics.
⫸ wilhelm lucerne nouvel // no known nicknames
⫸ goes by his middle name, lucerne
⫸ male // he/him
⫸ thirty three // ages real time // born fourteenth february
⫸ medic for the badlands // formerly a loner
⫸ joined BL - twenty first february
appearance.
⫸ faceclaim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ voice claim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ speaks with a received pronunciation british accent
⫸ 6'2ft // tall and lithe // very little muscle mass
⫸ cold, china blue eyes and disheveled, dark brunet hair
⫸ physical health - 100%
 current injuries: none as of now
⫸ mental health - 70%
 has been showing signs of major depressive disorder
personality.
⫸ enigmatic and difficult to understand
⫸ astute and intellectual // generally very logical in his way of thinking
⫸ self-absorbed and overly prideful // massive god complex
⫸ lack of empathy and often insincere // evident sociopathic tendencies
⫸ assertive, blunt and arrogant // strong, unwavering opinions
⫸ analytical and perceptive // often good at figuring things out at breakneck speed
⫸ overly motivated and stubborn // it's often his way or the highway
⫸ chronic boredom, often acts out childishly based on this
⫸ fastidious and a known perfectionist
⫸ unpredictable and notably unhinged // makes it difficult to get on with him
⫸ a total narcissist in many ways
⫸ aloof and incredibly socially awkward // very antisocial in general
⫸ a complete drama queen // incredibly theatrical and melodramatic
⫸ breathes sarcasm // snide and often witty with his quips
⫸ silently a very sensitive and introverted soul // worries about what others think
⫸ self-conscious towards how people react towards him // this makes him withdrawn
relationships.
⫸ wilhelm nouvel x annette nouvel // one older brother [deceased]
⫸ aromantic asexual // not interested in any romance
⫸ has taken a liking towards addy douglas
 sees him as his person
 doesn't view their relationship as romantic
 loyalty lies with him entirely
interaction.
⫸ storage // plot
⫸ physically: medium // mentally: hard
⫸ owns a pistol but finds the idea of injuring somebody very difficult
⫸ dislikes getting into physical fights as he's not very good at fighting
⫸ would much rather die than kill somebody else
⫸ will be acting out of character as he is still grieving over the loss of his brother
⫸ TW. he is an active drug addict // cocaine, heroin and opioids such as morphine
 some interactions with him may be whilst he is under the influence of said drugs
[/spoiler]
[align=center]
I'LL USE YOU AS A WARNING SIGN
[div style="width: 400px; font-family: georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 6pt; line-height: 1; letter-spacing: 1.1px; word-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px;"]THAT IF YOU TALK ENOUGH SENSE THEN YOU'LL LOSE YOUR MIND
C A T A L Y S T
[table] | | | | | | | | | [/table]
Huh, that was interesting. Addy's snark got a really weird response that the flower looked edible (they don't know what that was about). Michael got a reply about how it was coming up roses, but neither of the men seemed to dissuade him from what he was doing, up until Cat came along. Then he was making a small retreat, throwing the flower aside as if to cover up the evidence.
"Not our job to make ourselves seem pleasant to associate with." They said, straightening their jacket. "But I'll have you know, I do enjoy some of the finer things in life." They were just different than the things that Lucerne tended to enjoy, they were sure.
[spoiler=IF YOU DONT KNOW NOW YOU KNOW && INFO && 05/31/19] GENERAL welcome to the end of eras, ice has melted back to life
⇥ Given name is Scott Mathew Darrow ⇥ Goes only by Catalyst or Cat
⇥ Assigned male at birth ⇥ Agender ⇥ They/Them pronouns only
⇥ Twenty-one ⇥ Born 11/27/17 ⇥ Sagittarius ⇥ Real time aging
⇥ Boss (leader) of the Badlands ⇥ Ex prisoner of the Badlands
⇥ Ex cultist (Mourningstar) ⇥ Ex member of the Young Rogues
RECENT EVENTS done my time and served my sentence
⇥ 05/31/39 ⇥ Went on a mission to rescue Creed from the Insurrection
⇥ 05/26/39 ⇥ Reunited with their father
⇥ 05/26/39 ⇥ Cat returned to the Badlands
⇥ 05/17/39 ⇥ Left to bring Derick's body home
⇥ 05/17/39 ⇥ Had a bit of an identity crisis start
⇥ 05/17/39 ⇥ Made up with Molly, had a heart to heart with Gavril
⇥ 05/17/39 ⇥ Had a confrontation with Derick and killed him
APPEARANCE dress me up and watch me die
⇥ Catalyst is 6'2" tall; they possess a lean and muscular body, one that has a variety of old scars adorning it. One of the easiest to notice is one that stretches down their right cheek. While not a scar, one very notable marking on their chest is the "BL" brand. They have two piercings, one in their tongue and the other in the cartilage of their left ear. They typically dress in dark colors (favoring jackets with some sort of writing on the back), and their hair is black. They're not all dark, however, as they have pale blue eyes that peer out from beneath medium-sized eyebrows.
PERSONALITY if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine
⇥ Catalyst is ambitious, with the cunning and ruthlessness to reach their goals by any means necessary. They can be brutal when they feel it is needed, however when it's not they won't bother. They tend to be rather aloof and apathetic to most things and people, with some very rare exceptions. Provided those around them don't cross a few specific lines, they're content to leave them be, though they've been known to take an interest in some people, which seldom has a positive end for whoever their interest is in. They can be manipulative, and will often encourage people to make bad decisions. Those that stick by them will be rewarded, but those that do not will be cast out, as they've been outcast for their entire life and have learned to appreciate loyalty wherever they can find it. Even during the most stressful of situations, they usually keep a firm grip on their temper and keep their calm, though when they do snap and lose their temper, it is uncontrollable. They're remarkably observant, often able to deign much from subtle clues in what people say, how they say it and how they act.
RELATIONS dynasty decapitated, you just might see a ghost tonight
⇥ Molly Darrow x Austin Darrow ⇥ No siblings
⇥ Adopted parent of Molly Valentina Darrow-Lupei (Mo)
⇥ Pansexual/Panromantic ⇥ Very much taken ⇥ One Crush
⇥ Not looking but it happened ⇥ Rarely forms romantic attachment
⇥ Holds most people at arms length and doesn't get close
INTERACTION i'm taking back the c r o w n
⇥ Hard physically ⇥ Hard mentally ⇥ Doesn't let their guard down
⇥ Is most comfortable with close ranged-weapons ⇥ Dislikes guns
⇥ Brass knuckles ⇥ A variety of knives ⇥ Carries a handgun
⇥ Will kill/capture/maim in certain circumstances
⇥ Will leave things be in others ⇥ Will start & finish fights
⇥ No kill/capture/maim without permission
⇥ Peaceful powerplay allowed but they may react negatively
⇥ Dislikes almost any sort of touch unless they initiate or agree to it
[/spoiler]
I HAD THIS FEELING THAT YOU'D BETRAY ME ——————
IF I GAVE TOO MUCH AND YOU TOOK TOO MUCH ——————
there's blood on the leaves / there's blood on the sands I ——————
FEEL HIS GRACE S L O W L Y RUNNING OUT ——————
GIVE ME TRUTH GIVE ME A WAY OUT (I GOT A BONE TO PICK) ——————
[align=center] SOMEBODY [I]SHOWED YOU ALL OF THE HORRORS YOU WEREN'T BORN WITH IT ——————
[align=center][div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 420px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: black"]
 addy was used to lucerne not making a whole lot of sense. there were so many things that didn’t make sense about lucerne, but him in that moment rambling about how the flowers looked edible.. it was enough for addy to sneer a little bit, glancing between the flower as lucerne picked it up again, and the insane man himself. â€Âyou’re kidding.†surely this bastard wasn’t being serious. something about him seemed… off. but was it really in addy’s space to question it? when had he ever questioned lucerne’s fucking insanity before?
cat was - actually defending lucerne, and god this day couldn’t get any fucking worse. he glowered at the leader before tilting his head back over towards lucerne. “if your idea of enjoying the finer things in life is eating fuckin’ flowers and pokin’ at daisies all day…†he couldn’t even begin to comprehend some witty remark - not that his remarks had ever been that great, anyway - so instead he gave up, and simply huffed a defeated sigh, adding, “you need to get a damn life, man.â€Â
still, there was the slightest hint of amusement in his blue-gray depths. as much as he gave lucerne shit, he had to admit that he was.. incredibly fond of him. he couldn’t help but scoff at himself for that one. yeah, ‘fond’ was one way to put it…
//shit post i'm sorry  ((
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[align=center] bio - @elysian - tags
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