I've Lost Who I Am // Private
#1
Trigger warning: Death, alochol use, self harm, possible suicide mentions

It had been two months now. Two months since Sam had lost his brother. Two months since Dean had died. Dean. His stupid, wonderful, annoying big brother. Dean had sacrificed himself to save Sam. He sold his soul and was now in Hell. He did that to bring Sam back. And his brother died in the worst way possible. Hell hounds had attacked him. Dean was battered around and ripped open, bleeding heavily from the cuts and bites the hounds left on him. And Sam couldn't do anything. All he could do was stand there, watching in horror as his brother had been attacked. Sam didn't move from hugging Dean's broken body for hours after he had perished.

And that damn haunting image still tormented Sam. Every night. Every where Sam went, he was reminded of Dean. From run down hotels, to even simple fast food places. From hearing certain songs on the radio, to just being in the Impala. The Impala was a painful reminder of the time he spent with Dean. But he couldn't bring himself to ever get rid of the car. It was his only physical reminder left of Dean.

And of course there were the nightmares that plagued Sam every night. In a way, he welcomed the nightmares since that was the only way he could ever see Dean again. But in the end, it always resulted in him waking up in tears and crying for about an hour afterwards.

Sam hadn't stopped hunting though. He knew that's what Dean would have wanted. Continue hunting to protect those who need it. Make the world a better place. So that's what Sam did. He took whatever job he could find. He traveled place to place.

Sam had currently just finished a job. He had been hunting a demon. He couldn't separate the demon from its vessel, so it had resulted in the death of both. Sam had taken a step back, catching his breath as he stared down at the body. He was shaking a bit as he raised a hand and wiped some of the blood off of his face.




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#2
hidden in the shadows was a certain.. scared male. he had been a butler on the estate that sam had killed to demon on, and he had just been taking in some water from the well on the property- since the estate hadn’t been upgraded to actually have running water. he stared atthebloodu heap of a person, just dropping the bucket abruptly and covered his mouth. “oh my god!” he squawked and took a step back. “you killed them, oh god!”


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[align=center]gregory / 17 / trans male / married to legiana
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#3
Sam quickly jumped when he heard something hit the floor and then a male speak. He qucikly whipped around, seeing the other. His eyes widened. Oh...Yeah this certainly didn't look good. "I...I swear I didn't mean to kill the guy." He whispered


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#4
he stared at him, eyes wide, then looked at the body. “w-what were you trying to do?! you certainly looked like you were tying!”


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[align=center]gregory / 17 / trans male / married to legiana
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#5
Sam frowned. "I..." he trailed off, looking him over. Ah shit. No matter what he said the other wasn't going to believe him. "...Whoever he was, he was possessed by a demon. I only came here to kill the demon, but I couldn't get the demon out of the vessel so he ended up dying too." Sam said.


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#6
he paused and his entire demeaned seemed to change. “a.. demon..” h saadi slowly and frowned. “oh bother, that’s not right. demons don’t look like smoke, sir.”


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★ ──────────── {⋅. [abbr=#swiggity swooty I LOVE Hooty][/abbr] .⋅} ──────────── ★
[align=center]gregory / 17 / trans male / married to legiana
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#7
He watched him, frowning. Smoke? "Not when in a vessel. Without one, they are. They're black smoke figures." He said.


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#8
he shook his head. “oh no, no, i’ve dealt with demons before..” he muttered and moved to look at the body and then at sam. “you’re joking, aren’t you!”


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★ ──────────── {⋅. [abbr=#swiggity swooty I LOVE Hooty][/abbr] .⋅} ──────────── ★
[align=center]gregory / 17 / trans male / married to legiana
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#9
Sam frowned, watching him. He sighed. Screw it. He didn't have time to be wasting on this. "Think what you want." Sam said. he then turned, starting to leave the house.


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#10
he frowned. “that’s not a good idea, the head butler won’t be happy.” he tasted simply.


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★ ──────────── {⋅. [abbr=#swiggity swooty I LOVE Hooty][/abbr] .⋅} ──────────── ★
[align=center]gregory / 17 / trans male / married to legiana
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