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BIOGRAPHY
PLOTTING
MAIN DUMP
[abbr=you are here]WRITING DUMP[/abbr]
HEARTCHART
GRAPHICS STORAGE
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[color=#494941][color=#9e8886]* LINKS
PINTEREST
PLAYLIST
themes.
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dread . nevermind . tough luck . get over it . disconnection . the anatomy of a razorblade . bummer . mistrust is healthy in this town . bite the curb and sleep well . she was my virginity complex . guess i'll see you around . if my dad saw , he'd be mad at me . oh , fuck this . not ok , but its ok i guess . sorry i missed ur call . kinda drunk rn , but i just wanted to say i . post-traumatic all night long . go home . this party sucks . the world is a beautiful place and i am no longer afraid to die . waste yourself . parking lots . things i wish you told me . oh my god . sick shit . the same things happening to me all the time , even in my dreams . this is heaven and i'd die for it . 420 no scope . 5:45 am . shred cruz . eat shit . hotel beds . caution . thanks ! i hate it . i was all over her . trying soda . loser . fine , great . i do know and i'm not sorry . everything is going to hell . i guess everything reminds you of something . a way i'll never be . * sobs quietly * . applebee's bar . please don't tell my father i used his 1996 honda accord to destroy the town of willow grove , pennysylvania in 2002 . a detailed and poetic physical threat to the person who intentionally vandalized my 1994 dodge intrepid behind kate's apartment radio . aesthetic ? more like ass-pathetic . it hurts until it doesn't . melanchole . pepsi / coke suicide . haunt me . i think you're really beautiful . white trash v.h.s . drunk text romance . i keep writing songs for people i'll never know . self harmageddon . it's ok , i wouldn't remember me either . thank you . micky, yr a fuckup . satan's tape . a sad song about a girl i no longer know . words you wished you said but never did . some call it reckless , i call it breathing . the spark that lit the kindling on your funeral pyre . wake in nightmares . see that hell is what we chose . eternity will pay my price . my shadow , my fear , and me . oh , misery . no one is ever going to want me . i love you so . sincerely , yours . getsomerest /sleepwell . i know how it ends . empathy . filth . part iv . everything i know is borrowed , broken , or blind . happiness is somewhere i've been before . if i could rearrange my words , i'd say what i mean . satan is your master . worthless . bury me . satan made a mansion . a room with a dim light and nothing else . i'll rise to die again . parking lot graves . wreck . where the sun sets . she wanted a war . you are the coffin .
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i . a way i'll never be
ii . i guess everything reminds you of something
iii . a room with a dim light and nothing else
iv . parking lot graves
ONE-SHOTS ( FLASHBACKS ) .
i . satan's tape
ii . get over it
iii . you are the coffin
iv . sleepwell
OPENS .
i . thanks ! i hate it
ii . this party sucks
iii . aesthetic ? more like ass-pathetic
iv . a detailed and poetic physical threat to the person who intentionally vandalized my 1994 dodge intrepid behind kate's apartment radio
PRIVATES .
i . i think you're really beautiful
ii . sincerely , yours
iii . where the sun sets
iv . i love you so
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A WAY I'LL NEVER BE .
idea / overview .
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[align=right]I GUESS EVERYTHING REMINDS YOU OF SOMETHING .
idea / overview .
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A ROOM WITH A DIM LIGHT AND NOTHING ELSE .
idea / overview .
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PARKING LOT GRAVES .
idea / overview .
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SATAN'S TAPE .
idea / overview .
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[align=right]GET OVER IT .
idea / overview .
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YOU ARE THE COFFIN .
idea / overview .
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SLEEPWELL .
idea / overview .
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THANKS ! I HATE IT .
idea / overview .
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[align=right]THIS PARTY SUCKS .
idea / overview .
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AESTHETIC ? MORE LIKE ASS-PATHETIC .
idea / overview .
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A DETAILED AND POETIC PHYSICAL THREAT .
idea / overview .
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I THINK YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL .
idea / overview .
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[align=right]SINCERELY , YOURS .
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WHERE THE SUN SETS .
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I LOVE YOU SO .
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[align=right]HER SINKING SUN .
i . ❝ flowers of skin and bone ; we're all alone , waiting to die . take me from this evil place in your twisting arms ; not meant to be . ❞
ii. ❝ torn apart from everyone ; the sinking sun ; i watched her die . took a sick day to bleed inside something not meant to be . ❞
iii. ❝ you were so convincing and so heaven white ; i watch you die . animals begging to eat , they can't survive . not meant to be . ❞
WHITE TRASH V.H.S .
i . ❝ closer than before ; on the edge of being the same fuck up as before , dying in a secret . sick refusing sleep . childhood hides in dreams somewhere out of reach ; safe from all bad feelings . ❞
ii. ❝ come downs wearin' out . all that blood and guts . your guilt is gonna put you down while you're begging for forgiveness . ❞
iii. ❝ mercy kill the past ; descending from heaven . vhs white trash . demonic possessions . in her dying words as her tape is rotting . vhs white trash . gives you one more problem . ❞
iv . ❝ a poison afterlife , but , that's her trip , not mine . forgive me when i die ; bury me inside your life , my little white trash vhs . ❞
SATAN MADE A MANSION .
i . ❝ caving to a feeling . cave in to my mind . satan made a mansion for our love to live when it dies . confess me to a graveyard . quit fucking with my mind . hold me for forever . eyes prettier than suicide . ❞
EVENTUALLY .
i . ❝ the end is numb , for everyone , eventually . and as my friendships are decaying and we're all waking from the dream , this dying day just ain't worth saving . so i hide away ; in my poison brain , trying to sleep . ❞
BURN A CHURCH .
i . ❝ satan , wake me in the morning . get real . kill me whenever you want to . i want you , i want you to . ❞
HELL .
i . ❝ the only thing permanent about true love , is the pain you feel when it goes . so turn your back on forever , run from the past as it explodes . ❞
ii . ❝ you are a mirror image of a god you'll never know who created hell to show you how to be alone . ❞
iii . ❝ break the heart of the one you love to serve the one you fear . so used to self-abuse by now because the end is always near . ❞
iv . ❝ and you're a mirror image of a girl you'll never know who waits in hell so you don't have to be alone . ❞
VIRGIN VEINS .
i . ❝ the heart is a monument to a childhood of abuse ; a quiet suffering that knows no one wants you . so lonely , so ugly , and confused . ❞
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malachi is a biblical name borne by one of the twelve minor prophets in the old testament . the name is hebrew in origin from “ mal'akhi †meaning , ‘ my messenger ’ , or ' my angel ' , which is fitting since malachi foretold the coming of god ( i.e. , through jesus christ ) . he lived in the 5th century b.c. and repeatedly emphasized the upcoming “ day of the lord †whereby the peoples’ sin and unfaithfulness will be punished .
upon her birth , her name was chosen for a very specific reason ; assigned by her mother at first glance , " my angel " , she spoke . " malachi , my beautiful , perfect little angel . " . and while malachi believes that the love from her mother had forever been void as a result of her " suicide " ; a blistering hatred settling in the place admiration and affection once stood ; forever her little angel , she thinks . what she'll forever think ; and not once did she stop .
however her given name , " malachi " and its meaning serves as contradiction to her image as a malevolent being , reinforced by her adoptive mother's indoctrination of such idea ; the titles " child from hell " , " devil's incarnate " , " demon " , and " devil " , commonly bestowed upon her head , though she's eventually come to accept and exploit . it is also in reference to her resentment for christ and religion despite of her own messiah complex .
the name allen is a celtic baby name . in celtic , the meaning of the name allen is " harmony " , " stone " , or " noble " ; also " fair , handsome " .
as for her last name , " allen " , meaning " harmony " ; represents the contradiction between the dualities that lie within her . black against white ; heaven against hell ; war against peace ; loathing against love . she can never settle on one as they are all raging within . the borderline of feelings . a storm that never ceases .
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