all my bridges i have burned | STORAGE + CHAT

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tryna figure out my artstyle (except the hand, ignore hand, hand is not art style just shitty art)

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XIOMAR STURM

ext

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XIOMAR STURM

[div style="width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 8pt; text-align: justify;"]I approached a register, and was greeted with someone muscular and with a croptop, and instantly I had butterflies in my stomach - he was so pretty, and I wish I had the confidence to wear his clothes. Blond hair framed the man's face as he smiled at me, and I froze when he winked at me. Oh, oh goodness. I couldn't contain myself, hiding my face.

"No need to hide your face, pretty man." Sucking in my cheeks, my eyes ogled at him, and slowly I lowered my fingers to my teeth and started biting. "I want to look at it." He murmured. Admittedly, I felt safe with him, though usually I went to all lengths possible to avoid people staring at my skin, especially near my eyes.

"I - I um, I like your face too, pretty man." I rasped. "You are. Pretty, man." Despite my very bad flirtation, I at the time thought it flowed really well, and so did the other, who giggled and waved his hand at me.

"Oh, stop it! How about you and I do something together later, huh?" The man asked with a blow of a kiss, before writing his number down for me on my receipt. I hadn't even remembered paying for my items, but I guess that's what happens when you become a lovesick puppy.

I got stopped dead in my tracks on my way out by some sort of angry-sounding noise, and stumbling back, the employee nearest stared at me accusingly. "Did you not pay for your things, boy? You shoplifting?" She asked. I hated when people called me boy, my dad used to do it when he was angry.

"Um - I did! I bought! I - I even have the receipt in my pocket." As I fumbled with my jean pockets, my hoodie pockets, and looked all around, I felt tears brim in my eyes as her eyes stared through me, and her arms were crossed sternly. "It must be at the register with - with the man and the crop top." I stated, and stumbling in that direction with the lady tagging right behind me, she stared.

"Nobody would wear that here." She snarled, and I searched madly at the register - of which the man had disappeared. Had he been about to get off his shift when I came by? Watching me fumble about, she sniffed. "You better go pay for your items, boy. You're lucky I don't call the cops on you or get my boss." Tears streamed down my face, and I nodded despite me choking on my words.

"Please - please stop looking at me, please - please -" Oh god, she hated me. She wanted to kill me. I - I had to get out of here. "I'll buy what I need and go, please just - don't hurt me-" I wasn't even paying attention now, refusing to look in her direction as I dragged myself to the register, trembling violently and barely catching a vase that I nearly dropped. Rushing out as fast as possible, I felt sobs ripple through me. Nobody likes me - why does this always happen

[xio hallucinating a man, ft first person perspective]

[crows]

xio poOR BABE

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xio is.my sad bby

xio: sniffews owo

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tw for drug  n alcohol abuse, internalised homophobia, a dude thats a dick

- oscar graham
- florent's clown teacher dude. ihave a feeling theyre not exactly on good terms?
- probably abt 45
- used to be a cop until he was found out for using drugs that he would snatch from criminals. was arrested and idk how long he was jailed, but . he definitely served some jail time
- has a bad badddd drug addiction and alcohol addiction. most of the time if you talk to him hes probably drunk
- got into clowning at 30, and eventually got to the point he was teaching
- he likes to claim its just his clown character whose aggressive and short-tempered but its actually him and he ALWAYS acts like that
- can and will roast you
- a solo clown sorta guy. he does street acts, and his clown is probably a hobo clown.
- internalised homophobia. a sad gay whose always in denial. he might might might be dating someone and kind of forcing them into a closet w him? he also definitely acts like. idk. maybe uncomfortable if he knows someones gay? he feels bad abt it but he gets rly nervy and will try to leave. if you call him out he'll apologize, and he never would be intentionally rude abt it, but still
- probably married a gal and it did not work out, between his addiction problems, the fact he was never interested, and that he probably sleeps around w ppl? and he probably was never around.
- angry as fuck
- will roast u if u do anything wrong to him whatsoever, and sometimes even just bc he can and he will
- he is an actual hobo tho
- does NOT have his life together
- not sure how he kills ppl yet, but. far from clean abt it. and he probably doesnt do it that much, but he still DOES. probably just. only twice every year? but thats still a lot considering hes probably murdered ppl for 10-15 years
- needs a hug
- im not sure what his backstory is. idk if he has any trauma or if he just got addicted to drugs. im kind of considering veering away from trauma, just bc. ihave that a lot? and. he doesnt have to have the Depression:tm: to be Angry.
- generally never chill
- ill-mannered and rude as fuck
- blares music, esp older music. thinks hes superior for his music taste
- thinks hes superior for existing
- if something scares him he'll react w anger

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notes on carlos - latino, speaks spanish and english.
- a Cop
- a Gay
- flamboyant, dramatic, always has his nose in a book, probably one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. tends to talk over people and lose his attention a lot
- probably has adhd
- 5'8
- 48
- has that lanky muscular type body
- wears suspenders and lots of red denim shorts
- loves red
- Sloppy makeup
- high heel boots
- oscar feels so nervy around him when they arent alone
- loves skittles and bananas. he usually just has banana shakes for breakfast, skips lunch, and has skittles with ramen for dinner. and in addition snacks on skittles through the entire day
- probably does ballet in his spare time
- black hair thats fairly spiked with dark gray closest to his hairline
- beginning to develop the tiniest wrinkles at his eyes and mouth
- he's oscar's Ssssecret boyfriend. he worked a lot with oscar as they were partnered up mostly, and oscar always had felt something in him for carlos but would try to write it off as "duhur my best friend". when carlos came out to oscar awhile after oscar was released from jail, it smacked oscar hard in ths face both with his own realizations and also a new avoidance for carlos. oscar a year later came out to carlos after avoidance, and from there it was one night stands, and then slowly something more when oscar began to grow clingy after the repeated one night stands. eventually, they wound up dating. they're upcoming their 2 year anniversary

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snappity snaggletooth is oscar's clown name and i think that's great

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im gonnaaaa do a top 3 oc thing as in which of my characters are my top 3 and why

Cat
i very rarely talk about cat, but he's definitely got a special place in my heart. a lot of my characters come about for meaningful reasons - people would never guess but at one point greer was basically me, i made eldritch to help me get over having what i considered ruined dreams, and i have many other characters with personal meanings. but cat was a character that basically uh. started out as some random person from a dream, and. he literally cussed out all my characters and started a bomb and it was weird. despite his fairly meaningless origination, hes become a character i strongly feel with - he says some of the things i wouldn't want to say but would think, he's hilariously vulgar, and his insults are nothing more than potty humor and stupidity. despite this he's a very emotional character too, he's been through hell and back, and sometimes writing with him can make me cry. he can be sometimes emotionally taxing for me, actually - but i think that's what's really tied me to him? ever since i made him, there's always muse for him. there's always potential that can come with him - he can go in so many different directions and cause so many different scenarios and events.

Greer
greer is kind of a "teacher's pet" of mine, if i'm honest. part of me is just invested in her bc i made her to help me grow, understand myself, and vent. she was a struggling sister, and at the time i made her i needed to see a struggling sister succeed. she's not nearly as dynamic as cat for situations, but she's a great character for a sidekick or etc. her complete brutality is balanced by morality, and to a point, she is brutally moral. she takes her ideas and opinions to the extreme, and this leads to the worst a lot of the time. she was also one of my VERY FIRST original characters, and she's developed immensely since i made her. she's very deep in my heart. the only reason that cat is higher than her is he's accomplished settling himself inside my heart within only months, whereas greer has taken me years before i even considered she might be a favorite.

Gunner
OOF the third was hard? but i'd say gunner. he started as just someone from beckett's backstory, but he's taken the spotlight instead. he's perhaps one of the most intricate characters i've made. i'd say greer and cat are fairly intricate, but someone else could probably understand them enough. meanwhile gunner is kind of a stand alone character - i can't particularly relate to him, but it's because he's hard to define, really? he's had an intense backstory, he's gruff, tough, and rough, and he can be protective at one second and a violent man kidnapping his niece the next, he can seem evil and cruel but then be revealed as a victim to circumstance and other people's choices and just trying to protect the little family he has left from the rest of his family. he can be elegant, calm, thoughtful, and then later have a bloodied pulp-like face and be totally fine with it. he's someone that makes it impossible to tell whose the bad guy to a point without really looking into it, at least for me.

some runner ups?
Eldritch - my bby boy, he went through so much. he lost everything, he hit rock bototm. but for me, seeing him happy makes me happy. it proves to me that things can always get better. because things did, he got pushed and pushed and pushed deeper into tragedy and depression till he didnt see any way out - but there wAs and he got it
Xiomar - my OTHER bby boy. hes just rly rly fun to write honestly
Oscar - he wouldve been up there if he wasn't somewhat similar to cat. evil clown man with tragedy is my problematic fave
Asher - Resident Therapist Needs Therapy Himself, Laughs At Patients

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tw for drug and alcohol abuse and/or addiction

some of the things oscar and carlos argue abt

- oscar forcing carlos back into the closet
- oscar's drug and alcohol addiction
- oscar's refusal to show carlos affection outside of the house, and how sometimes oscar even seems cold and hostile to carlos
- carlos works a lot
- carlos is going too fast for oscar
- carlos won't share the money with oscar
- oscar mooches off of carlos
- oscar calling carlos petty even tho hes who will go and stay homeless for days after carlos upset him

a lot of the time, its oscar that's the issue. the only time i'd say otherwise is carlos moving too fast for oscar - which maybe is too fast for oscar, but for carlos, a lot of the things he wants to do like hold hands in public is something he'd do before even dubbing eaxh other as boyfriends - they've however been dating for almost 2 years

ithink eventually there will be some rly big argument where it starts as
"im hidinf this money here just in case theres ever an emergency. pls only use it for an emergency, pls bby"

"ok hold up i got a call, -"
"hey is this my drug dealer so i got some money, i want some uhhhh"

and. ofc carlos finds out. pRobably in an emergency? and basically outright kicks oscar out. and its probably smth thst'll screw him over financially if he cant find a way ti make up for the money lost. and then its back to his dad

ithink thisll be like. a week or two after their 2 year anniversary tho bc. iwant to write the anniversary. and i want them to be happy for 3 seconds