so, let’s make it personal / p

[scully.]

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LUX BLACKWELL   
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lux is barely holding herself together. she’s managed to get some makeup on her face, but her hair isn’t brushed and she’s swimming in the sweatshirt she’s wearing. lux sits in her car, she’s been there for awhile now, the air cooling around her. she’s meeting flynn for the first time in a few weeks. they haven’t talked and he hasn’t been at work. the radio silence has taken a toll on the blonde; she had gotten so used to him, possibly even relied on him but she’d never admit it, and now he’d let her down. lux knows she should be used to it and shouldn’t take it too hard, but she’s unable to lie to herself any longer, lux expected more from him even though she didn’t want to.
flynn’s truck pulls into the cafe’s parking lot and all the air in her lungs leaves her body. she misses him, but she’s mad at him and she can’t handle the mix of the emotions. lux breaths in again and lets it out, a small cloud escaping from her mouth because of the cold colorado climate. lux shoves her wallet and keys into her sweatshirt pocket and gets out of her car, slamming her door in her usual fashion. heading towards his car, lux grips the sleeves of her sweatshirt into her small fists. she figures dueling this out would be better in the privacy of their cars despite agreeing to get coffee. panic begins bubbling in within her, she swallows hard, trying to fight off a possible panic attack.
lux opens the truck door, pulling herself up into the vehicle and promptly closing it behind her. her arms cross tightly around her, staring ahead as she searched for words. her head turns to him and her eyes take a moment to follow, [b]”where have you been?” she questions, but her voice isn’t angry, it’s hurt. she feels some tears welling in her eyes, but she just sucks in a big breath and clenches her jaw, looking down at her hands in her lap.

[member=534]vix[/member]

[vix]

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FLYNN HARPER   
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when it's cold, he's [b]c o l d. it was more than a declaration of physicality but also mentality, too. flynn. bright eyed, pun-charged flynn's blue eyes— they turned cold. sky blue eyes, ones that remind you of winter months, turn to ice. and to put it bluntly he wants to be alone. doesn't [I]deserve the privilege of being around anyone else, wants to die. miss harper makes it a point to become more observant, a parental guidance, becomes guidance counselor and mason and jacob distances themselves, unsure on how to uplift their brother, c o l d. alone. easily, there should be someone to pull him out of his state but he can't even bring himself to see her for these weeks on end; he didn't want her to see him like this. flynn, in a sense, was her saving grace. what would be so saving of someone so dismantled? only when he's able to pull himself together enough does he agree to meet her, finally gets in his vehicle to without any form of excuse.

( she deserves better, he knows she does. ) and yet, he's grasping at the thread of hoping that she'd stay without any further explanation. he knows that it is unfair to her, but he doesn't know how to explain the heaviness in his heart other than that it was just interwoven in the blood of the hamiltons because in the end, that was what he was. hiding behind a different surname wouldn't change what tragedy was just . . . set out for you.

he forgets how pretty it is in the month of december. as he drives down the road, he's taken by the jolly attire riddled on trees, on buildings. he doesn't think he's even [I]been outside when the scenery replicated a hallmark film. maybe he should have brought hallmark movies with him, in case that's what lux wanted. they could make fun of them and settle into their routine, as if it'd never been different. but it's too late for that. he's already pulling into the parking lot. "this would do," he reassures himself, going to open the driver's door but before he can, the passenger door takes him by surprise and there stands lux.

"damn, you scared me." he breathed, lips pulling into a lopsided grin but her face doesn't reflect the tone he tries to conceive. she gets into the car and closes it. all of flynn wants to hurry away, leave his damn truck behind if he could but he knows that there is no doing that. face fallen, he closes his door just as she asks a question long overdue and he's not able to look at her, he can't. "not partying it up in vegas, that's for sure." gripping at a thread. trying to protect her whilst protecting himself. he glances at her. "I just... miss harper had shit for me to do. that's all. but it's nothing to be concerned about, lux, I swear."

he sounded like one of those douches from the movie he tried on avoiding to be. but he didn't really know how to word it any other way without wording it for real.

[scully.]

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LUX BLACKWELL   
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she can't look at him. she shakes her head slightly and lets out a small sigh, [b]"flynn..." lux trails, trying to stay calm, unsure of what else to say. "miss harper had you doing things for weeks? to the point where you couldn't even send me a text?" she points out the flaws in his defense, now some anger in her tone and evident on her face when she finally looks at him again. her eyebrows are ever so slightly scrunched together, her jaw is tightly clenched, tense, and her eyes were piercing. he really can't think she's that stupid, can he? she can't understand why he won't just tell her. it's bad enough flynn had just dropped off the face of the earth, now he's trying to hide it.
"cut the shit. you owe me something," lux speaks somewhat louder than normal, "...something. you-you left me! you left me and didn't say anything!" her words leave her mouth quickly and kind of a mess. an angry tear rolls out of her eye and she quickly wipes it away, looking out the passenger side window and shaking her head once again. "i just don't understand..." she whispers to herself, wishing he would just tell her so she could offer whatever help she can.
"do you think i won't understand?" she says quietly, looking down. she sucks in a breath, breathing it out slowly and closing her eyes in a moment. "you know i really care about you... i can't handle you blocking me out," shaking her head, her watery eyes looking to him. "i can't do this anymore if you're gonna just disappear." lux states, feeling like someone had just pulled a dagger out of her chest; she feels like she can breath, but she's slipping back into herself. maybe they aren't meant to be around each other, maybe they're like a train wreck of issues. no one can take their eyes away, but deadly.

[vix]

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FLYNN HARPER   
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[div style="width:195px; min-height:150px; line-height:100%; font-family:helvetica; color:black; font-size:10pt; text-align:justify;"]they both knew that he owed her an explanation, but he knows that if he starts he isn't sure where to begin nor where to end. his emotional baggage was a never ending rope of consistent pulling and he's kept it hidden for so long, he doesn't want to pull. his biggest fear was rising however. either he pulls soon, or he loses the love of his life. she was tired of being immersed into the dark and if he was in her shoes, he would, too. it wasn't fair. he knew it wasn't. too. and for once in his life, he doesn't know how to dart around a conversation without fear it would be the wrong move.

[b]"i've always been a sad person, lux," he begins, gripping the steering wheel. already, the air around them is beginning to fall cold, yet his palms are sweaty, his knuckles white. "I couldn't tell you why, but I just... get colder in the winter months. it's nothing against you, or miss harper, or anyone around me, really. I just..." his voice starts off weirdly stoic, especially for someone walking the line of a relationship they tried so hard to build, but as he continues it begins to break. it even surprises him, but he continues. "i don't want you to think of me any differently. as sad flynn, because i'm not... i'm not that person. i mean i am now, but it doesn't last long." he looks at her, eyes filmed over with tears that weeks of dissociation was unwilling to help.

"i'm sorry, but please stay? get coffee with me as promised." especially during the raging cold months, just like flynn, their relationship turned explicably cold. both of them had a lot going on in their lives and maybe that wasn't set for a relationship to last. but for once in his life, flynn wanted to beat the odds. he isn't sure whether there would ever be another person like lux in his life. someone who was maybe willing to stay.