fishy kisses ∞ dump

[twistiethebear]

alright i'm about to get real gross sorry
[spoiler=period related]so i missed my period last month (probs due to stress) and i just know that my period this month which convienently started like twenty minutes ago is gonna be hella and i'm already in pain and i want to die and my stomach is cramping and my back hurts and satans waterfall is going on in my pants and i just wanna die okay?

also, has anyone here ever like used a period cup/menstural cup because i wanna try it but idk because my mom won't buy one so i would have to buy it myself (it's like 40 bucks) just idk if i should

[trello]

aah ik just how you feel!! i've never used one myself so idk how well they work??

[twistiethebear]

like i've seen videos about them on buzzfeed and like youtube that say they do
[spoiler=more gross]plus i've used tampons since i got my period back in 6th grade so like it isn't like i'm uncomfortable with the idea of putting smth up there but just like nervous about leaks (cuz tampons leak every time which is why i don't use them as the only source of protection and really only use them when i'm out and about and being active because like it's uncomfortable with thenlike dampness of a pad especially when active and moving a lot because the flow is always more when i'm active and doing stuff i'm gross why am i putting this in my dump?)

[twistiethebear]

that moment you accidentally click "mark all messages read"

[twistiethebear]

i'm reading sad stuff on pinterest again and getting so many angsty ideas and someone should send help

[twistiethebear]

guy: cramps can't be that bad
me, quoting rachel green: no uterus no opinion

aka my lower back and stomach are cramping so much and i don't even think i can describe the pain i'm in, literally i didn't move from my bed for about four hours and just recently moved to take pain meds as well as get a heat buddy and i wanna die

[twistiethebear]

[spoiler=casual rant but like only the first part]since i'm in such a shitty mood (thank you pms) i am remembering how i was gonna go to prom with a friend in 10th grade and then, a month before prom, she said she was going with her ex (who, mind you, swore and yelled at her) and i had already like bought my dress and shit and okay, like that wasn't even the worst part. first she said i could join them but i said nah cuz i didn't want to third wheel and that i didn't want to go alone and she was like "i'll get someone to ask you so you don't ave to go alone" AND LIKE THAT PISSED ME OFF BECAUSE LIKE SHE BASICALLY SAID THAT I PROBS WOULDNT GET ASKED AND THAT SHE WOULD CONVINCE SOMEONE TO ASK ME

anyways, i was super upset about this and shit (like obviously cuz i considered her a close friend y know and she left me hanging, out about $160 for my dress). and the next day i was in study hall (mind you it was just me and one other person) ande and him had like playful banter and i was like visibly upset and like actually took the time to talk to me and make sure i was okay and honestly i haven't seen him since he graduated and idk if he even remembers but i wish i could like tell him how thankful i was. and earlier that year i was having bad anxiety and was very sleep deprived and was like having the beginning of a panic/anxiety attack in study hall and he did the same thing and we weren't even close. just having someone actually care for once was such a blessing and i hope i see him again sometime so i can thank him for not just brushing it off ya know? like honestly, he was annoying at times but he was genuine and i don't have many people like that in my life and i lost two people i considered to be good friends last year and my support system fell apart and i'm just so grateful that at least for a while i had someone who was willing to be so kind and like actually care and didn't tell me i was overreacting and i wish i had someone irl like him but i do t and this is getting really long and i just want to thank him even tho he probably doesn't remember but idk how to like contact him

just he wasn't ever fake and spoke his mind and we'd get into debates about politics or whatever and he didn't treat me like i was stupid or over emotional and i just i need another person like him irl because the only other person who has done smth that had a other motive and didn't actually care and said i was being dramatic because i wouldn't tell him what was upsetting me because i thought it was a stupid thing to be mad about idk just the first guy was so genuine and i think he's part of the reason i didnt start self harming again because he was there and willing to talk to me when i was visibly upset or uneasy or looked like i needed someone to listen

[twistiethebear]

sorry about that it was really long but i needed to get that off my mind

[paddy]

he sounds like a great person wow

[twistiethebear]

you just fucked with my mind