THE BADLANDS CHAT THREAD + DISCORD

[julian.]

i just basically described mine lmao
i could just touch my own face or my legs and it doesn't feel,,, like IM touching it. like it feels,,, like some sort of barrier is between my fingers and my skin?? its weird & hard to explain idk

[dannychan]

i do. that a lot, i just didn't know that it had a name?? i do it a lot when i'm roleplay ong and i'll just space out and just stare at my ceiling for a while, or while i'm doing school?

[Asyli]

disassociating for me is like... literally being there but also being trapped under a thick fog blanket; i feel like i am in a place, like i'm doing something but like i'm not the one doing it. it almost seems like someone else is taking the reins and controlling my body and i'm trying to force myself back into a conscious state and sort of drifting away from the world. i literally am trying to fight against something but it's so hard to bring myself back into reality, it's like... imagining seeing the world around you through blurred vision and not being able to make anything move on your own
at least, that's what mine feel like

i do it all the time so rip lmao
mostly during school or when i'm dealing with my family or just,,, when i get overwhelmed or stressed or sometimes even when i'm content and relaxed

also,, i can't decide if marco's name should just be
marco de la cru
or
marcus "marco" de la cru

[julian.]

i do. that a lot, i just didn't know that it had a name?? i do it a lot when i'm roleplay ong and i'll just space out and just stare at my ceiling for a while, or while i'm doing school?

usually, this is a healthy version of what disassociating is. everyone actually does it when you're focused on something. like when you read, everything else around you melts away and you're enthralled by the words. that's what everyone does. but when it becomes a problem in your life and happens constantly?? it's not very healthy?? or the word i'm looking for is,,, it doesn't feel pleasant 
it's usually your mind's way of coping with a traumatic event or could be something else entirely

mARCO DE LA CRU

[babyface]

i used to think i dissociated but that's actually a very specific thing that only very few people experience

i experience dr/dp which is derealization and depersonalization so like,, nothing feels real and/or i'm not myself? like i'm not a person, or not who i thought i was kinda?? it's hard to explain lmao

[julian.]

i used to think i dissociated but that's actually a very specific thing that only very few people experience

i experience dr/dp which is derealization and depersonalization so like,, nothing feels real and/or i'm not myself? like i'm not a person, or not who i thought i was kinda?? it's hard to explain lmao

br uh dr/dp is super fucking scary im
i mean i experience things not being real around me all the time but it stems from my anxiety bc i'm scared all the time of having a panic attack

[dannychan]

it's never really been a problem for me rly? tbh, it could just be my getting bored and not wanting to pay attention so i space out??

also,, i can't decide if marco's name should just be
marco de la cru
or
marcus "marco" de la cru

LA CRU

[babyface]

drdp is horrifying tbh

i'm clinically Psychotic™ so a lot of things that i experience are scary lmao

i'm gonna try to draw but im sick so it probably wont be very good josdgjd

+ i like marcus "marco"

[whittaker,]

wow i have never had that happen to me. not even the? healthy kind? i mean sometimes i'll think hard enough and i forget my surroundings in favor of my thoughts and like my legs will. take me to where i have to go and suddenly im in a place and im like. oh. i forgot i was walking here but now im here. but thats the extent of "not being myself" lmao. yeah ive never heard of that amongst my school so that's odd, nice to know

Yes okay let’s do this! Maybe he is left to sort of keep her company, keep her in the same place since she has a tendency to just wander and get into trouble and it’s awkward because he’s like,,,, how do I communicate with kids? How do I communicate,,,, at all?

yesss okay so whit actually? wonders around? constantly
tbfh he'd probably just wonder around with her because he doesnt know how to handle a kid and tell a kid no, and honestly he encourages seeing the world so he'd probably just let her go wherever and tag along like a confused and quiet puppy

+ marcus "marco" de la cru!

[Asyli]

i know exactly what you're talking about iom, i'm lowkey shaking a bit so imma just chill and try to work on marco some more and maybe i'll get his tags done but yikes i'm gonna imma do something

but like... sometimes i feel like i don't exist or the world around me is fake, like i'm nothing more than just, a blip? when i was younger (i say hat like it wasn't three years ago and jiofjweiowef i'm oLD) i was convinced that we were all in a television and that there was someone controlling us like a video game because the entire world around me seemed fake. it didn't seem real and sometimes i still feel like someone else's in control but not as wild as i did a few years ago n yeet

a lot of my problems are centered on not being able to identify what's real and what isn't, reality is,,, a weird concept n i don't know how to explain it

bomb af, thank you guys!!