KNOCK ME OUT THE FIRST TIME | open

[inny]

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[size=8pt][font=verdana]she found herself thinking about everyone in the clan she now led. Were they happy with her leadership? She hoped she was doing alright, that she could end up supporting them and being the leader they needed. Sometimes she forgot she was merely a child stuck in an adult’s body. She just wanted her mom to be there for her, and she wasn’t. Her mom was somewhere far away and it was too many days travel to try and go find her and even if she attempted, she had been exiled from that place and couldn’t go back.

The urge to hurt someone hit her hard and she fought the sudden wanting back with a grimace. No she couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. The people didn’t know that side of her yet, and she would prevent it for as long as she could.

she remembered the scent of him, how she had stalked him for countless days and how her massive direwolf body had been so overpowering to the other canine. She remembered spring towards him and being almost surprised at how light he felt. She remembered sinking her teeth in his neck and striking him with her paw in order to make him lose consciousness. She recalled how when he had woken up, he had been somewhere different from his lifelong home - how someone could stay in one place their whole life astounded the girl - and with fare leaning over him, a cruel grin on her features. She recollected with strange fondness how she’d cut him open and then dumped into a pool of lemon juice before harshly removing his limbs slowly from his body with her trident. She had saved the best thing for last: his head. She’d loved it when his screams died off abruptly with the rest of him. She wished the best for him in the afterlife.

She felt as if she were falling from a great height and then before she knew it, she was sucked back into a memory, this one as selector, evergreen’s daughter.

"i can't," the words came out in a soft, broken tone, between clenched teeth as dark claws grasped on for dear life and hind legs pinwheeled for purchase where there was none; there was just endless space, air, a void beneath her feet. a growl had her jarring herself, slipping further and she let out a horrible scream, shrill and high-pitched with complete and utter terror. "Hold on! selector, sel, come on! you can do it! just hold on, i'm coming, just hold on!" cried the voice in her head: the voice of her soulmate. he was coming. he would be here soon and then he would pull her up and make sure she lived.

Fare sunk her claws into the ground, steadying herself. Sel had died on the cliff that day, waiting for her soulmate to save her. Fare wouldn’t succumb to the same fate. She would save herself, she was saving herself right now by not going home. She wanted to go home. She wanted her mom. Maybe things would get better with time. "i hope you're proud of me, mom."

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[spoiler=been granted three wishes ★ march 1][size=8pt][font=verdana]general ; "your body’s a message, send my regards to hell"
★ fare xerses | formerly known as selector | female [ she/her ]
physically 10 months | mentally 12 months | birthday unknown | ages at roleplayer's discretion
leader of shadowclan
daisysteps x bubblebreath | generation 3 | xerses divinius gaudius
bisexual | biromantic | one maybe crush | single [open]

appearance ; "i can hear your thoughts racing from here"
★ coyote | wears a silver chain around her neck
fare is a small coyote, dark in appearance with hints of silver around her face. optimistic lilac-hued eyes peer out at the world, round black pupils within them. she seems to be smaller than the average coyote, almost appearing underfed when it's really just her genetics. she can almost always be seen with a smile on her face. [ reference ].

personality ; "fall upon your knees, sing"
★ mbti personality: ENTP-T
— quiet, polite, cheery, optimistic, dreamer, intuitive, energetic, outgoing, motherly, determined, sometimes sarcastic, caring, secretly manipulative, opportunist
fare likes getting her way, and she isn't afraid to try and manipulate someone in order to get things the way she wants them to be. she'll often take walks or runs in order to burn off energy and will ask someone if she can help them with something if she comes across the opportunity. however, she's very insecure, cynical, and bitter inside and is very scared that everyone is going to find out.

interaction ; "this is my body and soul here!"
★ medium physically | difficult mentally | attack in #41845E
thinks that fighting is a necessary evil on the outside but on the inside, she loves it | will initiate fights
will fight back | will not flee | will not surrender unless under dire circumstances
will capture | will torture | will kill
some training | has medical knowledge
TRUSTS: ruben, circusclown, miles
power — un / discovered — control of power: xxx%
power — un / discovered — control of power: xxx%[/spoiler]

[Leo]

"Hm? Did you say something?" Leo glided over, her eyebrows knit together. The leader looked distressed, and as an advisor, she believed it was her duty to help in whatever way she could.

[FARE]

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[size=8pt][font=verdana]it seemed as if someone had caught her talking to herself, and fare knew that this was a fatal mistake. she didn't want anyone knowing about her past quite yet. so, she pulled her head out of thoughts where her muzzle was bathed in gore, adorned with a crazed smile, and she looked sideways at leo. act normal, whispered her thoughts. she was. she was perfectly normal, perfectly fine. perfect.

"oh hey leo! ah, no, i was just saying to myself that i should probably go hunting soon. it looks like it might snow today or tonight," she answered softly, purple gaze resting on the other femme.

.

[align=center][div style="width:450px;text-align:justify;color:#000;font-size:10pt;font-family:verdana;"]
[spoiler=been granted three wishes ★ march 1][size=8pt][font=verdana]general ; "your body’s a message, send my regards to hell"
★ fare xerses | formerly known as selector | female [ she/her ]
physically 10 months | mentally 12 months | birthday unknown | ages at roleplayer's discretion
leader of shadowclan
daisysteps x bubblebreath | generation 3 | xerses divinius gaudius
bisexual | biromantic | one maybe crush | single [open]

appearance ; "i can hear your thoughts racing from here"
★ coyote | wears a silver chain around her neck
fare is a small coyote, dark in appearance with hints of silver around her face. optimistic lilac-hued eyes peer out at the world, round black pupils within them. she seems to be smaller than the average coyote, almost appearing underfed when it's really just her genetics. she can almost always be seen with a smile on her face. [ reference ].

personality ; "fall upon your knees, sing"
★ mbti personality: ENTP-T
— quiet, polite, cheery, optimistic, dreamer, intuitive, energetic, outgoing, motherly, determined, sometimes sarcastic, caring, secretly manipulative, opportunist
fare likes getting her way, and she isn't afraid to try and manipulate someone in order to get things the way she wants them to be. she'll often take walks or runs in order to burn off energy and will ask someone if she can help them with something if she comes across the opportunity. however, she's very insecure, cynical, and bitter inside and is very scared that everyone is going to find out.

interaction ; "this is my body and soul here!"
★ medium physically | difficult mentally | attack in #41845E
thinks that fighting is a necessary evil on the outside but on the inside, she loves it | will initiate fights
will fight back | will not flee | will not surrender unless under dire circumstances
will capture | will torture | will kill
some training | has medical knowledge
TRUSTS: ruben, circusclown, miles
power — un / discovered — control of power: xxx%
power — un / discovered — control of power: xxx%[/spoiler]

[CIRCUSCLOWN!]

[align=center][div style="width: 450px;; text-align: justify"][size=9pt]Circusclown was familiar with murder, and also the trauma that sometimes came out of it. Or perhaps that was just him, traumatized by murdering a few dozens of people, being the cause of pain had never been something he really wanted to be. Though, he had once thought that he got rewarded when he did cruel things - because he was. The Exiles had encouraged him to cause harm, and when he did he was regarded as a hero. Even when he realized he was wrong, even when he could control himself, he had did it by his own choice because he got the love and affection he had wanted so much. Though unfortunately, the compassion he thought he had was just him being used as a meat shield - like everyone had always wanted.

He was familiar with most things though. In fact, it had always made his fur prick knowing that most people have at least killed or maimed somebody once. Usually somebody could easily be broken, to the point they'd hurt others. He managed to get somebody so well-known for a heroic and clean reputation to kill him. It had been so thrilling back then - it was like he was daring Tama to finish him off, excited for everything to all end. It had really been relief. Though, at this point he was just rambling. He had sworn he heard the word "mom," though he wasn't always the type to pry. Prying had always made him uncomfortable personally - he never liked talking about feelings or such so he often tried not to talk aloud or reveal anything about himself. He didn't know if others felt the same way, but he didn't want anybodies sympathy. Why would he want it, if he's just fine as is? He was rambling again - ah, whatever. Coming closer though trying to stay away from anywhere someone might try to crowd him if people were attracted to this spot, he'd speak up. "Snow, huh?" He'd look at the sky. "I've always liked snow." He'd say with a thin smile.

[spoiler=tags]
general ; "drink up baby"
★ circusclown disharmony | nicknames are circ and clown, former names are breadstick, uglyclown and clown | male [ he/him ]
two years three months physically and mentally | born november 13th, 2014 | ages realtime
guard of shadowclan | former exiles leader and blizzardclan head combatant (feralfront)
discord disharmony x npc | generation 2 | head of disharmony family | only loyal to family
demisexual | panromantic | crush unknown | afraid of being in a relationship
has ptsd, alcoholism and depression | will have flashbacks or panic attacks if he: sees overwhelmingly fast moving yellow or cyan colors, him feeling or touching bark, hearing someone with a distorted voice, feeling any type of unexpected rough contact, and having limited moving space


appearance ; "stay up all night"
★ domestic cat | always scowling | always smells strongly of alcohol
he is a light brown feline who has a lot of fluffy fur that's often tangled up covered in dirt and dust, and it also feels very greasy and gross. his head is lacking of the light brown color, and is completely white. he has a scar on the left side of his face, which has a stitched up glasgow smile meeting up with the scar. the other side of his face shares a glasgow smile, which is also stitched together. he has only one eye left which is the right one, and it is a dull blue almost lifeless color that seems to be bagging all the time due to exhaustion. the side of his face which has no eye has stitches on the top of his eye, and his eyelid is often closed over the eye socket that's still there, though it can be open if he is surprised or scared by something. [ reference ].

personality ; "with the things you could do"
★ chaotic neutral | anti-hero | the cynic
— cynical, insensitive, pessimistic, crude, hostile, family-oriented, overprotective, unpredictable
with a quick look at circusclown, somebody would probably be able to quickly dismiss him due to him having common disinterest, distantness or unnecessary complaints about everything. he rarely has anything positive to say or do, and will come off as a very dull person who wants nothing more then for others to go away. he is very unpredictable and capricious in behavior, and can with ease be watching with a bored expression and the next be a violent creature someone should steer clear of. despite the unpredictable nature, he is quick to make a decision he won't regret - he is never unsure about his decisions, which only worsens his unpredictable behavior. he is extremely cynical and pessimistic, and has a continual feeling of mistrust and pessimistic thoughts of the outcome of every situation. he has a tendency to be very vulgar, constantly with gross behaviors like burping and swearing. he has a tendency to be very unfriendly or harsh to others, and he is rarely sensitive unless in a good mood or if he enjoys somebodies company. he is at heart however, a genuine and sweet person who just wants to have a large family, but feels it is impossible due to his self-destructive alcoholic behaviors and is simply frightened that he'd be taken advantage of if he was to.

interaction ; "you won't but you might"
★ hard physically | hard mentally | attack in #c68ee2
doesn't like unnecessary death or etc | will start fights | will fight back | will flee if family is protected | will not surrender
might capture if family is threatened | might torture if family is threatened | will kill if family is threatened

trained to fight | has little to no medical knowledge
air elementals — discovered — can't control properly - if something triggers him it will go off
power — un / discovered — control of power: 000%[/spoiler]

[Leo]

"well, if you're sure nothing's wrong..." the femme looked up at the sky. Snow, huh? She'd never seen it before. "I'd love to go hunting with you."