can someone rewrite this for me??

[dannychan]

so i'm trying to write a territory for a tnw group but god i'm so bad at it
so i need someone to rewrite this

one two three
even twenty years after the black out, the biltmore mansion is kept in peak condition. now, the family has taken residence inside, instead of tourists that wished to take a look inside.

the mansion holds exactly 35 bedrooms and 43 bathrooms. the mansion even houses a victorian era bowling ally, a green house, stables, a large fountain, and 125,000 acres of land.

in the green house, they grow all sorts of food, and it never seems to run out. there are enough horses in the stables for every member of the family, but no one under twelve may ride them unless they have adult supervision.

[ashen]

ooooh
I'd love to try? gimme a sec ill try to do something
side note: i love what you have so far thats such a cool territory

[dannychan]

thanks so much for both the help and compliment cx

[ashen]

The glorious Biltmore Estate, thriving even 20 years after they lost power along with the majority of the world. A mansion sprawling in the countryside, it's hard to find a more idyllic home in this world. As such, it is home to the Biltmore family (idk if they call themselves that?) who raise horses, and farm crops in the greenhouse, altogether finding a peaceful and rather luxurious way of life in what for many has become a wasteland.


Idk if this is what you were looking for? I had trouble fitting in some of the details like number of rooms and whatnot though, I probably could figure out how to work them in in a longe rguide but this might be good for a sort of basic intro? im not sure

[dannychan]

i was thinking something a little bit longer, and they just call themselves "the family" :^)

[s]fun fact of the day: the biltmore is owned by the vanderbilt family, which i am distantly but sorta closely related to. i get a discount at the gift shops :^)

[videnda]

surprisingly to most, even twenty years after the black out, the biltmore mansion is kept in peak condition. in the wake of such a disaster instead of having it as a touring exhibit, the family has moved inside of the mansion and using it for what it is intended for.

the mansion is huge, even for a mansion and espescially for still standing after the blackout. it holds an impressive 35 bedrooms and 43 bathrooms. the mansion even houses a victorian era bowling ally where allies can gather or members can go to play, a green house where they farm their food, stables to keep horses that they have bred through the years since the need came for them , a large fountain, and 125,000 acres of land.

in the green house, they grow all sorts of food, and it never seems to run out due to close supervidion. there are enough horses in the stables for every member of the family, but no one under twelve may ride them unless they have adult supervision due to the risk of injury.

it's a bit hard to because there isn't a lot of information I know, but you could detail the color of the house, what style it is in, where the head of the family sleeps, are there trails? just some more features on the territory rather than just 125,000 acres?

[dannychan]

that would mean doing a bunch of research which i'd have to do later heh

[ashen]

wHAT REALLY THATS SO COOL

ah ok!!yeah true maybe more details are needed? idk
either way im looking forward to itl lol

i want to do some more stuff that involves the bigger groups with boards interacting with the smaller ones? maybe help boost some activity there and like open up more interaction so that could be cool maybe

[trout]

I'm not good at rewriting things, but I can give you some ideas!!

Perhaps you can add more small details and such! Perhaps something about maybe the mansion has special hardwood flooring or queen sized beds with silk sheets, heavy blankets and large goose feather pillows.

Maybe there's a kitchen with marble counters and birch wood cupboards. Each filled with produce and meats. And despite the outage they still have a fridge resting in the kitchen, but despite it being powerless food is still stored in it.

I don't know if I helped any, but feel free to use those ideas!

[FrankJScott]

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