le chaos. | another marsy dump.

[marsy]

screams i'll respond to everything tmrrw i promise
i gotta take ashower n go to sleep lmao
i got school tmrrw ew

[marsy]

dj, eyes half-lidded, staring off into space, running on two hours of sleep in a two-day period
someone: are you o-
dj: what if the matrix is real, and the creators of the matrix series were trying to tell us to wake the fuck up, but everyone just thinks it's a creative movie series and completely fictional which is why we're still in the matrix

[phantomatics]

me

[fuentes]

but asher is still screaming into his phone like deadass
"HELLO 911?? YEAH MY FRIEND IS AN ARSONIST AND HE'S ABOUT TO SET THE WHOLE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD ON FIRE PLEASE GET THIS CRIMINAL OFF THE STREETS I DON'T FEEL SAFE"

asher is just such a goofy ass lil shit and jerry's so Good and Pureâ„¢ the contrast is truly astounding

also
dj: in a crisis and texts asher
asher, three hours later: ay fam u good?? ??

[marsy]

oh my god i'm sobbing, dj's probably just sitting in a lawn chair sipping at a bottle of alcohol carelessly as the others are trying to get the phone from asher and yelling

the contrast is Beautiful

you just gave me an idea that'd make dj's death au even worse
dj tried calling asher twice but asher didn't pick up for whatever reason lol ayy

[fuentes]

dj's just sitting back and watching the chaos he'd caused while asher gets sidetackled by riya and jerry wrenches his phone from his hands

i have Some Thoughts on that
1) don't you fucking do it you filthy walmart parking lot seagull
2) why would he even call asher??? asher is like the last person to call in a crisis man omg

[marsy]

dj ends up just going on his phone while the chaos he caused grows, probably snaps a pic of the chaos lmao and the caption is "i think i might have caused this?"

1) it's happening
2) i dunno?? dj is a dumbass?? ? the first time was probably an accident and he just went w it bc he's fucking dying and can't think clearly, and the second time was because his logic was that he already tried calling him once maybe he'd pick up the second time after realizing it's probably important y'know

[phantomatics]

honestly one of my favourite #parabros headcanon is the only reason that rory found out that his little brother was gay is because he caught him stealing condoms from him.

[fuentes]

all while asher is being forcibly restrained and screaming at the top of lungs, the neighbors probably think he's being kidnapped or some shit lmao

1) well then fuck you
2) asher was probably just the first person in his contacts tbh but like he should know asher well enough to know that asher never answers his phone unless it's his mom calling and also that he is literally zero help in serious moments like he'll start fucking giggling while trying to mend your broken leg the boy is a mess

[marsy]

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