03-28-2021, 04:07 AM
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— he promised her the moon. at the time, fred thought it was nothing more than a line he had said to try and get her to fall for him, to make him fall for that classic stirling charm. nothing he wouldn’t say to any other woman that happened to cross his way. rather than falling for the charming smile and superficial words, mollie challenged him to live up to his word. get her the moon. if she had been any other woman, any other fleeting romance, he nowadays might have scoffed at the previous conversation. however, the more he got to know mollie hawthorne, the more he began to realize just how far he would go for her.
when he saw her, it felt as though nothing else mattered. a best friend that never failed to let fred down whenever he had an idea for a particular outing. the kind of person to crash her lips against his in order to catch him off guard long enough to pull the trigger of her paintball gun. having the guts to shoot him short-range without a single ounce of remorse. even with her seemingly unmendable rough edges, she would still soften whenever he pulled her close and danced with her once the bar was closed up. her laughter was lighthearted and contagious with each twirl or overly dramatic dip. although he never said it in all of those moments, he felt a certain softness welling within him, too. a softness that he didn’t know he even had.
mollie hawthorne unraveled him. it was a terrifying concept to wrap around frederick’s mind. he was a man that hid behind a wall that many weren’t aware even existed. he wasn’t used to the idea of someone tearing away at him, slowly unraveling him until they reached the very core of who exactly frederick stirling was. not when it was someone that he wanted to stare at him in the same familiar manner, with fond eyes and featherlight touches. he didn’t want to entertain the thought of the fire behind mollie’s eyes being replaced with confusion and a sense of betrayal. fear. fred was used to causing chaos wherever he went, striking fear into whoever dared to cross him and his family -- and yet, the idea of mollie looking at him the same way made him feel close to what he thought could be heartbreak. he was aware of what a horrible person he truly was, and he wished mollie would be slower at undoing the walls he’d set before her. he wanted more time with her. he always would. why did he care so much about what mollie had to think of him?
because he cared about her. maybe even more than that. love was a word he rarely associated with himself, let alone when it came to a romantic partner. still, he found himself contemplating over that very word with each moment spent with the person before him. he’d been falling for her from the moment she started to leave him at a loss of a witty comeback. from the moment she swayed with him in the bar and made him laugh. genuinely laugh. he’d been falling for her without even knowing it, without allowing himself to fully come to terms with it. they never established what they were, yet fred found himself wanting more time with her. he wanted to be at her side more than he ever wanted to be at anyone else’s. what’s worse was that it was a thought he was slowly starting to entertain; being ever present at mollie’s side. was it foolish for someone like him to wish for that when he was so undeserving of it?
he should have known it wouldn’t last forever.
the tight smile forced to his lips felt less ingenuous at mollie’s snide reply. the gentle curl of his lips afterwards felt far more genuine, holding her gaze as he subtly shook his head. “when it comes to you, i’ve learned to expect the unexpected.” a remark that couldn’t be any more true. when it was just the two of them, fred staring into those familiar electric eyes, he felt nearly tempted to forget about the very reason why he’d sought her out in the first place. the same expression still stood as he sat down, mollie wrapped in his arm. the worry that gnawed at him and his nerves didn’t nearly outweigh his desire to simply be in her company. to forget about talking to her because believe it or not, talking wasn’t what freddie did best.
when he decided to bring up the topic, explore what it was that was bothering mollie, he expected her to insist it was nothing. molls was a stubborn, headstrong woman. she’d be the first to insist she was fine when the world was crumbling down around her, unwilling to accept any help. she would dismiss the confrontation and ensure she was fine, just a bad night. instead, she lowered her gaze down to her lap. tears. falling down her cheeks. his lips parted gently in surprise, in dread of what was to come next from her lips. he’d never seen mollie cry before. had anyone?
”can you just listen to me? to everything i say?” she must’ve seen the shock starting to glaze over his eyes as their gazes met. he didn’t know what to expect from her. in some ways, perhaps he already knew what mollie was trying to tell him - he just couldn’t bring himself to see that as what would be the next words out of her mouth. his mind thought of other alternatives, instead. what if mollie was going to break things off between them, say she couldn’t do ‘this’ - whatever ‘this’ was - anymore? what if mollie was going to ask for them to establish what they were, asking more from freddie than anyone should dare try and expect? nerves made his heart race. what if she loved him?
“i’m pregnant.”
time stood still and blurred. his ears ringed from the deafening silence that filled the gaps and spaces between them. distanced them. for a man who seemed to never run out of things to say, he was painfully quiet during those moments of silence that followed. mollie continued to talk, and yet the ringing in his ears grew louder. mollie was pregnant. a situation neither of them would have seen themselves in, and especially not fred. the very thoughts he’d been entertaining shattered around him, leaving him only with the swirling of uncontrollable emotion. fear. fear of never getting to live the life alfred would’ve wanted a stirling man to have. getting stuck having to follow tradition like he always did. tying the knot with mollie and end up like eddie, a man with so much wasted potential. he didn’t want to be wasted potential. he didn’t want to fall into the same trap that so many other stirling men did. how could he have been so stupid?
almost instinctively, he slowly drew his hand away from mollie’s shoulders. “shit.” the words were so quiet, just barely a whisper. grasping the arm of the couch, he slowly started to stand up. distance himself from mollie. standing, he turned his back to her, bringing the palm of his hand up to his forehead. “god, mollie.” he brushed the hand through his hair with a stressed sigh. “i don’t want to do this freddie, i don’t… want this.” stressed eyes squeezed tightly shut, jaw clenching tightly. fred was unraveling, spiraling; he didn’t think mollie was going to like the person that he could be when he felt cornered and trapped.
“you think that i want this?” he snapped, turning to stare over towards mollie with a guarded gaze. unwilling to show the panic, yet much more willing to mask it with such a cold front instead. had he ever been so cold to her? how could he ever be? “you think i want to be stuck with you and some- goddamn kid?” he said it as if he hadn’t just considered the idea of being with mollie for the long-run. he said it as if mollie hadn’t meant a damn thing to him.
guess that would always be what ruined possible relationships with freddie. he feared commitment more than anything else in life. rather than try and confront himself, he instead chose to lash out at others for their decisions. blame others for getting themselves so messily tangled with him when he had been the one that made them able to do so. “that’s the last thing i want. mollie-” it must’ve seemed as though there was little room to try and convince fred to calm down, to sit down and listen to mollie and all she had to say. he was too far gone, beyond saving from the surge of panic he felt rising in his chest.
he should have known they wouldn’t last forever. not by anything that mollie did, but by the distance he put between them all by himself. this was all his doing.
— he promised her the moon. at the time, fred thought it was nothing more than a line he had said to try and get her to fall for him, to make him fall for that classic stirling charm. nothing he wouldn’t say to any other woman that happened to cross his way. rather than falling for the charming smile and superficial words, mollie challenged him to live up to his word. get her the moon. if she had been any other woman, any other fleeting romance, he nowadays might have scoffed at the previous conversation. however, the more he got to know mollie hawthorne, the more he began to realize just how far he would go for her.
when he saw her, it felt as though nothing else mattered. a best friend that never failed to let fred down whenever he had an idea for a particular outing. the kind of person to crash her lips against his in order to catch him off guard long enough to pull the trigger of her paintball gun. having the guts to shoot him short-range without a single ounce of remorse. even with her seemingly unmendable rough edges, she would still soften whenever he pulled her close and danced with her once the bar was closed up. her laughter was lighthearted and contagious with each twirl or overly dramatic dip. although he never said it in all of those moments, he felt a certain softness welling within him, too. a softness that he didn’t know he even had.
mollie hawthorne unraveled him. it was a terrifying concept to wrap around frederick’s mind. he was a man that hid behind a wall that many weren’t aware even existed. he wasn’t used to the idea of someone tearing away at him, slowly unraveling him until they reached the very core of who exactly frederick stirling was. not when it was someone that he wanted to stare at him in the same familiar manner, with fond eyes and featherlight touches. he didn’t want to entertain the thought of the fire behind mollie’s eyes being replaced with confusion and a sense of betrayal. fear. fred was used to causing chaos wherever he went, striking fear into whoever dared to cross him and his family -- and yet, the idea of mollie looking at him the same way made him feel close to what he thought could be heartbreak. he was aware of what a horrible person he truly was, and he wished mollie would be slower at undoing the walls he’d set before her. he wanted more time with her. he always would. why did he care so much about what mollie had to think of him?
because he cared about her. maybe even more than that. love was a word he rarely associated with himself, let alone when it came to a romantic partner. still, he found himself contemplating over that very word with each moment spent with the person before him. he’d been falling for her from the moment she started to leave him at a loss of a witty comeback. from the moment she swayed with him in the bar and made him laugh. genuinely laugh. he’d been falling for her without even knowing it, without allowing himself to fully come to terms with it. they never established what they were, yet fred found himself wanting more time with her. he wanted to be at her side more than he ever wanted to be at anyone else’s. what’s worse was that it was a thought he was slowly starting to entertain; being ever present at mollie’s side. was it foolish for someone like him to wish for that when he was so undeserving of it?
he should have known it wouldn’t last forever.
the tight smile forced to his lips felt less ingenuous at mollie’s snide reply. the gentle curl of his lips afterwards felt far more genuine, holding her gaze as he subtly shook his head. “when it comes to you, i’ve learned to expect the unexpected.” a remark that couldn’t be any more true. when it was just the two of them, fred staring into those familiar electric eyes, he felt nearly tempted to forget about the very reason why he’d sought her out in the first place. the same expression still stood as he sat down, mollie wrapped in his arm. the worry that gnawed at him and his nerves didn’t nearly outweigh his desire to simply be in her company. to forget about talking to her because believe it or not, talking wasn’t what freddie did best.
when he decided to bring up the topic, explore what it was that was bothering mollie, he expected her to insist it was nothing. molls was a stubborn, headstrong woman. she’d be the first to insist she was fine when the world was crumbling down around her, unwilling to accept any help. she would dismiss the confrontation and ensure she was fine, just a bad night. instead, she lowered her gaze down to her lap. tears. falling down her cheeks. his lips parted gently in surprise, in dread of what was to come next from her lips. he’d never seen mollie cry before. had anyone?
”can you just listen to me? to everything i say?” she must’ve seen the shock starting to glaze over his eyes as their gazes met. he didn’t know what to expect from her. in some ways, perhaps he already knew what mollie was trying to tell him - he just couldn’t bring himself to see that as what would be the next words out of her mouth. his mind thought of other alternatives, instead. what if mollie was going to break things off between them, say she couldn’t do ‘this’ - whatever ‘this’ was - anymore? what if mollie was going to ask for them to establish what they were, asking more from freddie than anyone should dare try and expect? nerves made his heart race. what if she loved him?
“i’m pregnant.”
time stood still and blurred. his ears ringed from the deafening silence that filled the gaps and spaces between them. distanced them. for a man who seemed to never run out of things to say, he was painfully quiet during those moments of silence that followed. mollie continued to talk, and yet the ringing in his ears grew louder. mollie was pregnant. a situation neither of them would have seen themselves in, and especially not fred. the very thoughts he’d been entertaining shattered around him, leaving him only with the swirling of uncontrollable emotion. fear. fear of never getting to live the life alfred would’ve wanted a stirling man to have. getting stuck having to follow tradition like he always did. tying the knot with mollie and end up like eddie, a man with so much wasted potential. he didn’t want to be wasted potential. he didn’t want to fall into the same trap that so many other stirling men did. how could he have been so stupid?
almost instinctively, he slowly drew his hand away from mollie’s shoulders. “shit.” the words were so quiet, just barely a whisper. grasping the arm of the couch, he slowly started to stand up. distance himself from mollie. standing, he turned his back to her, bringing the palm of his hand up to his forehead. “god, mollie.” he brushed the hand through his hair with a stressed sigh. “i don’t want to do this freddie, i don’t… want this.” stressed eyes squeezed tightly shut, jaw clenching tightly. fred was unraveling, spiraling; he didn’t think mollie was going to like the person that he could be when he felt cornered and trapped.
“you think that i want this?” he snapped, turning to stare over towards mollie with a guarded gaze. unwilling to show the panic, yet much more willing to mask it with such a cold front instead. had he ever been so cold to her? how could he ever be? “you think i want to be stuck with you and some- goddamn kid?” he said it as if he hadn’t just considered the idea of being with mollie for the long-run. he said it as if mollie hadn’t meant a damn thing to him.
guess that would always be what ruined possible relationships with freddie. he feared commitment more than anything else in life. rather than try and confront himself, he instead chose to lash out at others for their decisions. blame others for getting themselves so messily tangled with him when he had been the one that made them able to do so. “that’s the last thing i want. mollie-” it must’ve seemed as though there was little room to try and convince fred to calm down, to sit down and listen to mollie and all she had to say. he was too far gone, beyond saving from the surge of panic he felt rising in his chest.
he should have known they wouldn’t last forever. not by anything that mollie did, but by the distance he put between them all by himself. this was all his doing.
[align=center][div style="width:345px; font-family: arial; font-size:10pt; color: #060845;"]DON'T JUST STAND AND STARE
[size=10pt]*･ﾟ[abbr=24 years old, male, flintlock]✦[/abbr] COME ON AND BARE YOUR TEETH
[size=10pt]*･ﾟ[abbr=24 years old, male, flintlock]✦[/abbr] COME ON AND BARE YOUR TEETH