03-25-2021, 08:53 PM
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— nightmares. they were nothing foreign to mickey serge. if anything, they were more familiar and welcomed to him than not. at least those restless nights could be expected and anticipated; part of a routine that left little room for thinking they’d ever go away. after all, he had his moments where he thought he was getting better. nights in a row where he managed to get a good night’s sleep. nights where he didn’t feel so tormented for the man he was, and the things he had done. it was after nights like those, ones that gave him such a sense of false-hope, that a bad night felt more startling.
most people didn’t remember much about their dreams. mick didn’t remember much either. he was used to seeing an abstract of scenes, playing behind his eyelids like a broken movie screen. not remembering too much about what happened in the dreams, but remembering how they made him feel whenever he woke up in a cold-sweat. he was a man plagued with such disastrous thoughts, yet he could know all the medicines in the world and find it difficult to cure. there wasn’t a way to cure him of his past decisions, or the regret that clung to him. the death that clung to him. the blood that stained his fingertips. if there was a cure, he wasn’t so certain he would even take it.
in some ways, he felt almost as if he deserved it.
they only got worse after tamara’s untimely passing; sometimes he could see her, looking at him disappointed. unhappy with the man he had become. that was a sight that was hard for him to shake. deciding he couldn’t bring himself to stay inside and try to get more sleep, the man instead took to the streets of the district. cigarette in hand, he smoked absently as he made his way along the promenade. the cigarette one of his few items of comfort.
mickey often desired comfort, yet he never brought himself to seek it out. was it because of his own pride that he didn’t seek comfort from others? was it because he didn’t think he deserved it? he would never be completely sure. maybe both. either way, working to silently console himself didn’t seem to do the trick, but only put the problem off until he’d try to sleep again. slowing to a stop by the docks, he glanced at the boats absently before looking out towards the moonlit ocean surface. guess tonight was just one of those nights.
[spoiler=tags ― updated 02/25.][size=8pt]◜BASICS ┊ BURIED MY HEART IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND ◞
‣ ❝ mickey serge ❞ | mick, serge | male [he/him] .
‣ 33 years old . | may fifth; taurus.
‣ currently the prodigy of northstar district
‣ currently co-founder/co-head of st. peter’s clinic in the district alongside lucerne nouvel.
◜PERSONALITY: ISFJ ┊ THERE WAS NO ONE AROUND ◞
‣ aloof . ambitious . blunt . distant . driven . hard-working . passionate . humble . reserved . introverted . intelligent . level-headed . trustworthy . honest . caring . quiet . gentlemanly . kind . pessimistic . unreadable . stoic . withdrawn .
↳ lover of tea and cigarettes
↳ struggles with ptsd symptoms
↳ recovering alcoholic (over a year sober)
↳ currently showing signs/symptoms of depression following his mother's death
◜ APPEARANCE ┊ BURIED MY GUILT IN A PIT IN THE SOUND ◞
‣ six foot one & one hundred and sixty seven pounds ; reference .
↳ dark brown hair kept very short on the sides and neat
↳ skinny with slight muscle tone
↳ deep blue eyes , often stoic , emotionless
◜ FAMILY ┊ I TRIED AND I TRIED AND I WAS NEVER THE SAME ◞
‣ david serge x tamara serge | father deceased . mother recently deceased
‣ only child
‣ currently claims guardianship of arlo - doesn’t consider himself arlo’s parent
◜ RELATIONSHIPS ┊ I'LL BREAK UP THE CHAIN ◞
‣ homosexual ; monogamous | a hopeless romantic .
‣ ex-fiance to elinor rose
↳ engagement fell apart after coming to terms with mick’s sexuality .
‣ ex-lover to edmund stirling-moray
↳ the first guy he had ever been with . helped him become comfortable with his sexuality before coming out of the closet.
‣ current boyfriend of vernon green
↳ currently live together . inseparable .
◜ INTERACTIONS ┊ I'M FOREVER CHANGED ◞
‣ [ 9/10 ] physically | [ 8/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ very difficult ] | difficulty w/ melees [ difficult ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ difficult ]
‣ [member=1512]elysian.[/member] | dm for any major plots .
‣ friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .[/size][/spoiler]
— nightmares. they were nothing foreign to mickey serge. if anything, they were more familiar and welcomed to him than not. at least those restless nights could be expected and anticipated; part of a routine that left little room for thinking they’d ever go away. after all, he had his moments where he thought he was getting better. nights in a row where he managed to get a good night’s sleep. nights where he didn’t feel so tormented for the man he was, and the things he had done. it was after nights like those, ones that gave him such a sense of false-hope, that a bad night felt more startling.
most people didn’t remember much about their dreams. mick didn’t remember much either. he was used to seeing an abstract of scenes, playing behind his eyelids like a broken movie screen. not remembering too much about what happened in the dreams, but remembering how they made him feel whenever he woke up in a cold-sweat. he was a man plagued with such disastrous thoughts, yet he could know all the medicines in the world and find it difficult to cure. there wasn’t a way to cure him of his past decisions, or the regret that clung to him. the death that clung to him. the blood that stained his fingertips. if there was a cure, he wasn’t so certain he would even take it.
in some ways, he felt almost as if he deserved it.
they only got worse after tamara’s untimely passing; sometimes he could see her, looking at him disappointed. unhappy with the man he had become. that was a sight that was hard for him to shake. deciding he couldn’t bring himself to stay inside and try to get more sleep, the man instead took to the streets of the district. cigarette in hand, he smoked absently as he made his way along the promenade. the cigarette one of his few items of comfort.
mickey often desired comfort, yet he never brought himself to seek it out. was it because of his own pride that he didn’t seek comfort from others? was it because he didn’t think he deserved it? he would never be completely sure. maybe both. either way, working to silently console himself didn’t seem to do the trick, but only put the problem off until he’d try to sleep again. slowing to a stop by the docks, he glanced at the boats absently before looking out towards the moonlit ocean surface. guess tonight was just one of those nights.
[spoiler=tags ― updated 02/25.][size=8pt]◜BASICS ┊ BURIED MY HEART IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND ◞
‣ ❝ mickey serge ❞ | mick, serge | male [he/him] .
‣ 33 years old . | may fifth; taurus.
‣ currently the prodigy of northstar district
‣ currently co-founder/co-head of st. peter’s clinic in the district alongside lucerne nouvel.
◜PERSONALITY: ISFJ ┊ THERE WAS NO ONE AROUND ◞
‣ aloof . ambitious . blunt . distant . driven . hard-working . passionate . humble . reserved . introverted . intelligent . level-headed . trustworthy . honest . caring . quiet . gentlemanly . kind . pessimistic . unreadable . stoic . withdrawn .
↳ lover of tea and cigarettes
↳ struggles with ptsd symptoms
↳ recovering alcoholic (over a year sober)
↳ currently showing signs/symptoms of depression following his mother's death
◜ APPEARANCE ┊ BURIED MY GUILT IN A PIT IN THE SOUND ◞
‣ six foot one & one hundred and sixty seven pounds ; reference .
↳ dark brown hair kept very short on the sides and neat
↳ skinny with slight muscle tone
↳ deep blue eyes , often stoic , emotionless
◜ FAMILY ┊ I TRIED AND I TRIED AND I WAS NEVER THE SAME ◞
‣ david serge x tamara serge | father deceased . mother recently deceased
‣ only child
‣ currently claims guardianship of arlo - doesn’t consider himself arlo’s parent
◜ RELATIONSHIPS ┊ I'LL BREAK UP THE CHAIN ◞
‣ homosexual ; monogamous | a hopeless romantic .
‣ ex-fiance to elinor rose
↳ engagement fell apart after coming to terms with mick’s sexuality .
‣ ex-lover to edmund stirling-moray
↳ the first guy he had ever been with . helped him become comfortable with his sexuality before coming out of the closet.
‣ current boyfriend of vernon green
↳ currently live together . inseparable .
◜ INTERACTIONS ┊ I'M FOREVER CHANGED ◞
‣ [ 9/10 ] physically | [ 8/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ very difficult ] | difficulty w/ melees [ difficult ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ difficult ]
‣ [member=1512]elysian.[/member] | dm for any major plots .
‣ friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .[/size][/spoiler]