09-17-2020, 02:54 PM
[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-size: 12px; font-family: calibri; letter-spacing: .6px; color: #494949;"][sub]tw: suicidial thoughts/ideation[/sub]
three weeks in and josephine still isn’t taking to being a mother. she does the very minimal effort but only to appease max who’s always on her about it. however, there’s nothing in her eyes when she looks at rosie. she’s stopped breaking, there hasn’t been the loud crocodile tears anymore. she’s withdrawn, only dawning a mask around the rest of the lodge. joey doesn’t feel like herself. her life feels over, she’s numb and doesn’t see an end to it. hell, she might as well entirely confess to aiden’s murder; take the entire blame and be banished from the lodge. it’d probably be better for everyone. max would get the baby she’s always wanted, seb always bounces back from things, william would get an easy way out.
the usual fierceness and self concern is gone. in her head, this seems like the only selfless thing she’s ever felt drawn to; doing away with herself, the problem child. maybe everyone could finally breathe a sigh of relief then...
joey’s face emerges from the water as she naturally floated to the top. the crisp and cold early morning air has her lips turning a purple color that’s sure to turn to blue soon if she stays in the water. rosie woke her up with her cries; joey couldn’t handle it. she quickly fled from her room and ended up at the lake. she’s thought about swimming to get in better shape after having the baby. and while the sun is split in half by the horizon seems like the perfect time. she remembers hearing something about cold burning more calories, it could easily be a hoax, but maybe she can finally feel something. she let out the breath she was holding, hands coming up to slick back her hair as teeth chatter for the bitter mountain air.
she wishes she didn’t come up. she wishes she just sank down to the bottom and is forgotten. drowning sounds comforting, why can’t she just do it? there’s a pang of frustration and anger that enters her, why her? takes hold as she begins to swim towards the shore. why did she have to be wrapped up in all of this? hasn’t she been through enough?
[spoiler=tags, updated 08/24/2020]◜BASICS ┊ I HAD A DREAM◞
&. ❝ josephine elena van doren ❞ | joey, joy, hoey | female [ she/her ] .
&. 21 years old . | november first ; scorpio .
&. reaper of flintlock lodge .
◜PERSONALITY ┊ GOT EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED◞
&. impulsive . outgoing . femme fatale . flirtatious . seemingly emotionless . guarded . self-destructive . obsessive . hot headed . reckless . kleptomania tendencies . selfish . brat . assertive . loyal to those close to her . intuitive . stubborn . passionate . self-preserving . quick . nosey . reliable . non-committal . determined . secretive . resentful . resourceful . distrusting .
◜ APPEARANCE ┊ NOT WHAT YOU THINK ◞
&. five foot six & one hundred and seventeen pounds ; reference .
↳ blonde hair just past her collarbone, grows a dirtier blonde, lightening up as soon as any sun touches it .
↳ slim, muscular build. legs on the longer side .
↳ big blue/green doe eyes, light yet well-groomed eyebrows, full lips, dimples .
◜ INTERACTIONS ┊ AND IF I’M BEING HONEST ◞
&. [ 8/10 ] physically | [ 9/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ medium ] | difficulty w/ melees [ hard ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ hard ]
↳ combat information .
&. attack in bold #990000 | [member=570]scully[/member] | PM for any major plots .
&. friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .
◜INVENTORY ┊ IT MIGHT’VE BEEN A NIGHTMARE◞
&. [ 2 ] weapons | [ 0 ] armor pieces | [ 0 ] consumables | [ 2 ] aid items | [ 1 ] misc .
↳ one combat knife .
↳ a three piece throwing knife set
↳ one german short-haired pointer puppy, demetri
↳ one english setter puppy, robin
↳ a bracelet from her late mother, each one of her sisters has a piece to the same set, their mother having the biggest piece
◜ RELATIONSHIPS ┊ TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT CARE◞
&. elizabeth van doren (npc) x malcolm van doren (npc) | second youngest of nine children .
↳ cassian van doren, eldest, flintlock .
↳ beau van doren, second eldest, unknown .
↳ range rover van doren, unknown & scarlett van doren, dead .
↳ auden van doren, unknown & tara van doren, dead .
↳ maxine van doren, just older than joey, flintlock .
↳ richard van doren, youngest, flintlock .
&. pansexual, panromantic ; mongamous . | scared of commitment, however enjoys casual fun .
&. mother to rosalie willa van doren, newborn . [/spoiler]
three weeks in and josephine still isn’t taking to being a mother. she does the very minimal effort but only to appease max who’s always on her about it. however, there’s nothing in her eyes when she looks at rosie. she’s stopped breaking, there hasn’t been the loud crocodile tears anymore. she’s withdrawn, only dawning a mask around the rest of the lodge. joey doesn’t feel like herself. her life feels over, she’s numb and doesn’t see an end to it. hell, she might as well entirely confess to aiden’s murder; take the entire blame and be banished from the lodge. it’d probably be better for everyone. max would get the baby she’s always wanted, seb always bounces back from things, william would get an easy way out.
the usual fierceness and self concern is gone. in her head, this seems like the only selfless thing she’s ever felt drawn to; doing away with herself, the problem child. maybe everyone could finally breathe a sigh of relief then...
joey’s face emerges from the water as she naturally floated to the top. the crisp and cold early morning air has her lips turning a purple color that’s sure to turn to blue soon if she stays in the water. rosie woke her up with her cries; joey couldn’t handle it. she quickly fled from her room and ended up at the lake. she’s thought about swimming to get in better shape after having the baby. and while the sun is split in half by the horizon seems like the perfect time. she remembers hearing something about cold burning more calories, it could easily be a hoax, but maybe she can finally feel something. she let out the breath she was holding, hands coming up to slick back her hair as teeth chatter for the bitter mountain air.
she wishes she didn’t come up. she wishes she just sank down to the bottom and is forgotten. drowning sounds comforting, why can’t she just do it? there’s a pang of frustration and anger that enters her, why her? takes hold as she begins to swim towards the shore. why did she have to be wrapped up in all of this? hasn’t she been through enough?
[spoiler=tags, updated 08/24/2020]◜BASICS ┊ I HAD A DREAM◞
&. ❝ josephine elena van doren ❞ | joey, joy, hoey | female [ she/her ] .
&. 21 years old . | november first ; scorpio .
&. reaper of flintlock lodge .
◜PERSONALITY ┊ GOT EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED◞
&. impulsive . outgoing . femme fatale . flirtatious . seemingly emotionless . guarded . self-destructive . obsessive . hot headed . reckless . kleptomania tendencies . selfish . brat . assertive . loyal to those close to her . intuitive . stubborn . passionate . self-preserving . quick . nosey . reliable . non-committal . determined . secretive . resentful . resourceful . distrusting .
◜ APPEARANCE ┊ NOT WHAT YOU THINK ◞
&. five foot six & one hundred and seventeen pounds ; reference .
↳ blonde hair just past her collarbone, grows a dirtier blonde, lightening up as soon as any sun touches it .
↳ slim, muscular build. legs on the longer side .
↳ big blue/green doe eyes, light yet well-groomed eyebrows, full lips, dimples .
◜ INTERACTIONS ┊ AND IF I’M BEING HONEST ◞
&. [ 8/10 ] physically | [ 9/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ medium ] | difficulty w/ melees [ hard ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ hard ]
↳ combat information .
&. attack in bold #990000 | [member=570]scully[/member] | PM for any major plots .
&. friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .
◜INVENTORY ┊ IT MIGHT’VE BEEN A NIGHTMARE◞
&. [ 2 ] weapons | [ 0 ] armor pieces | [ 0 ] consumables | [ 2 ] aid items | [ 1 ] misc .
↳ one combat knife .
↳ a three piece throwing knife set
↳ one german short-haired pointer puppy, demetri
↳ one english setter puppy, robin
↳ a bracelet from her late mother, each one of her sisters has a piece to the same set, their mother having the biggest piece
◜ RELATIONSHIPS ┊ TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT CARE◞
&. elizabeth van doren (npc) x malcolm van doren (npc) | second youngest of nine children .
↳ cassian van doren, eldest, flintlock .
↳ beau van doren, second eldest, unknown .
↳ range rover van doren, unknown & scarlett van doren, dead .
↳ auden van doren, unknown & tara van doren, dead .
↳ maxine van doren, just older than joey, flintlock .
↳ richard van doren, youngest, flintlock .
&. pansexual, panromantic ; mongamous . | scared of commitment, however enjoys casual fun .
&. mother to rosalie willa van doren, newborn . [/spoiler]