06-01-2020, 08:48 PM
#607d7d[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 1.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]Jerome was a solid part of Eben’s life. In fact, Eben felt defined by Jerome’s presence in his life. As if they were one. And, when it was good, it was great. When it was bad, Eben would break. He was a man seemingly so comfortable in his skin that it was the greatest surprise to realize just how sensitive and fragile he truly was. Dependent on the care of Jerome, despite it coming across the other way around, felt to be the very foundation of his existence. Without Jerome, Eben would truly be lost. In the most genuine meaning of the term, Eben quite simply could not live without Jerome.
If Jerome was no longer in Eben’s life, then Eben would have no more reason to live.
That burden ought to weigh incredibly heavy on Jerome’s shoulders. After all, Eben existed as his shadow. Always there. Always being. And, when things were good between the both of them, Eben felt as if he was on the top of the world. Every moment with Jerome was sheer bliss, the two of them the most perfect of duos. Eben idolized Jerome to the extreme. He was by far the greatest person that Eben had ever laid his eyes upon; nobody could even come close to the greatness of his best friend. When Eben was near Jerome, he was well and truly content. The world felt at ease when everything was in its right place.
His early morning starts were not unusual for Eben. He knew to make sure that he was pristine by the time Jerome arose in the morning, eager to be greeted with that warm smile and gentle conversation. As Jerome made their usual cup of coffee in the morning, Eben found himself sat at the kitchen table, fingers drumming on the table contently as he spoke thoughtfully about his plans for the day. Dominating the conversation, Eben would never think twice about Jerome’s quiet contemplation. In fact, he usually assumed that Jerome was simply listening intently to Eben’s words.
Not thinking about a woman.
The conversation died down as they settled into a comfortable silence. After the final sips of coffee, Jerome nudged his mug towards Eben, and Eben didn’t even need to be asked for him to eventually stand up and take both of their mugs to the sink.
Just as their rigid routine had it.
❝ You know Ellie? ❞ Eben faltered. That was a perfectly timed maneuver on Jerome’s part, wasn’t it? How sly and scheming of him to bring up this sore subject whilst Eben had evidently let his guard down just for J. Eben’s hesitation did not last for anymore than a moment, shoulders rising and falling again with a tense sigh as he went to place the mugs in the kitchen sink, the washbowl filled halfway with clear water. If anything, Eben felt hurt that Jerome had waited until Eben was walking away before mentioning such a topic. Jerome knew how uncomfortable this made Eben feel...
Eben was too afraid to lose his crutch.
He was silent as he listened to Jerome’s words, head low as he focused on washing the mugs in the sink. ❝ She’s kind, and bright. Beautiful... ❞ Did Jerome not realize how schoolboy of him this was? Some would say that true love would only come around once in a lifetime, but Eben had since learned that that was nothing but a lie. Jerome was falling down a very dark hole that he would never be able to climb out of again. This was some mindless attraction - Eben had always taken Jerome as a wiser man, but he supposed that he was gravely mistaken.
It sounded to Eben that Jerome wanted advice. From Eben. ❝ Jislaaik- ❞ Eben hissed gently beneath his breath, followed by a short huff of unamused laughter. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Thoughts began to spiral out of control, it began to feel like every breath he took was a knife in the chest. Or, a knife in the back. He shouldn’t have turned his back on Jerome; all he would do was abandon Eben in the end. And for what? Some pretty blonde woman with the personality of a fucking brick?
❝ I- ❞ Eben began, tipping the mugs upside down for them to drip dry before he turned to look towards Jerome, gaze aching with betrayal. In retrospective, it’d be clear to Eben that he was overreacting but, in this very moment, his self-doubt and anxiety was in overdrive, jaw clenched so tight that it was impossible to see the way his face twitched with an inexplicable feeling of sudden hatred for that fucking woman. That woman was dead to him, and he thought that Jerome knew better. He really did.
Maybe this was what Jerome wanted. Maybe he thought that Eben was some disposable good. If he began to date Ellie, then how could Eben fit into his life? Jerome couldn’t go hopping from person to person whenever he felt like it. Did Eben mean nothing to him anymore? His urge to breakdown there and then seemed to be overwhelmed by this feeling of loathing towards Jerome. How could he hurt Eben like this?
Was Eben really that worthless?
Jerome was only doing this to rub it in Eben’s face. Eben was good for absolutely nothing, even Jerome could toss him aside when he no longer needed him anymore. Jerome just didn’t care enough about Eben’s feelings - he never did. For fuck’s sake; Eben was so stupid for ever thinking otherwise. He swallowed hard as eyes searched Jerome’s love-struck features. Eben gave him everything. Why couldn’t he do the same for Eben? Was he really that unworthy of such care?
❝ Why? You have everything you could ever want right here. ❞ He gestured pathetically around the kitchen, shaking his head slowly with disbelief. ❝ Why do you need to go and date some woman who probably couldn’t care less about you? I don’t get it! ❞ He leaned back against the counter, throwing his hands up. ❝ It’s stupid, J. Completely, utterly pointless but- ❞ Voice cracked as he then spoke softer. As if he finally understood Jerome’s true intentions. ❝ I get it now. I do. ❞
He nodded his head slowly, face scrunched up with such hurt and distaste for the man sat in front of him. Such an explosive reaction to a question so innocent but, to Eben, his world was crashing around him and there was nothing that he could do to stop it. He felt helpless and frantic - he was about to lose Jerome forever. ❝ All you do is take. Take, take, take, and you don’t give a shit about what it takes for somebody to give you their whole world. So… fucking ungrateful. I should've known better. ❞
In that moment, it was as if Eben was ready to self-destruct. Everything that he so desperately tried to grasp onto would be the very thing that he'd destroy in his warpath.
If Jerome was no longer in Eben’s life, then Eben would have no more reason to live.
That burden ought to weigh incredibly heavy on Jerome’s shoulders. After all, Eben existed as his shadow. Always there. Always being. And, when things were good between the both of them, Eben felt as if he was on the top of the world. Every moment with Jerome was sheer bliss, the two of them the most perfect of duos. Eben idolized Jerome to the extreme. He was by far the greatest person that Eben had ever laid his eyes upon; nobody could even come close to the greatness of his best friend. When Eben was near Jerome, he was well and truly content. The world felt at ease when everything was in its right place.
His early morning starts were not unusual for Eben. He knew to make sure that he was pristine by the time Jerome arose in the morning, eager to be greeted with that warm smile and gentle conversation. As Jerome made their usual cup of coffee in the morning, Eben found himself sat at the kitchen table, fingers drumming on the table contently as he spoke thoughtfully about his plans for the day. Dominating the conversation, Eben would never think twice about Jerome’s quiet contemplation. In fact, he usually assumed that Jerome was simply listening intently to Eben’s words.
Not thinking about a woman.
The conversation died down as they settled into a comfortable silence. After the final sips of coffee, Jerome nudged his mug towards Eben, and Eben didn’t even need to be asked for him to eventually stand up and take both of their mugs to the sink.
Just as their rigid routine had it.
❝ You know Ellie? ❞ Eben faltered. That was a perfectly timed maneuver on Jerome’s part, wasn’t it? How sly and scheming of him to bring up this sore subject whilst Eben had evidently let his guard down just for J. Eben’s hesitation did not last for anymore than a moment, shoulders rising and falling again with a tense sigh as he went to place the mugs in the kitchen sink, the washbowl filled halfway with clear water. If anything, Eben felt hurt that Jerome had waited until Eben was walking away before mentioning such a topic. Jerome knew how uncomfortable this made Eben feel...
Eben was too afraid to lose his crutch.
He was silent as he listened to Jerome’s words, head low as he focused on washing the mugs in the sink. ❝ She’s kind, and bright. Beautiful... ❞ Did Jerome not realize how schoolboy of him this was? Some would say that true love would only come around once in a lifetime, but Eben had since learned that that was nothing but a lie. Jerome was falling down a very dark hole that he would never be able to climb out of again. This was some mindless attraction - Eben had always taken Jerome as a wiser man, but he supposed that he was gravely mistaken.
It sounded to Eben that Jerome wanted advice. From Eben. ❝ Jislaaik- ❞ Eben hissed gently beneath his breath, followed by a short huff of unamused laughter. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Thoughts began to spiral out of control, it began to feel like every breath he took was a knife in the chest. Or, a knife in the back. He shouldn’t have turned his back on Jerome; all he would do was abandon Eben in the end. And for what? Some pretty blonde woman with the personality of a fucking brick?
❝ I- ❞ Eben began, tipping the mugs upside down for them to drip dry before he turned to look towards Jerome, gaze aching with betrayal. In retrospective, it’d be clear to Eben that he was overreacting but, in this very moment, his self-doubt and anxiety was in overdrive, jaw clenched so tight that it was impossible to see the way his face twitched with an inexplicable feeling of sudden hatred for that fucking woman. That woman was dead to him, and he thought that Jerome knew better. He really did.
Maybe this was what Jerome wanted. Maybe he thought that Eben was some disposable good. If he began to date Ellie, then how could Eben fit into his life? Jerome couldn’t go hopping from person to person whenever he felt like it. Did Eben mean nothing to him anymore? His urge to breakdown there and then seemed to be overwhelmed by this feeling of loathing towards Jerome. How could he hurt Eben like this?
Was Eben really that worthless?
Jerome was only doing this to rub it in Eben’s face. Eben was good for absolutely nothing, even Jerome could toss him aside when he no longer needed him anymore. Jerome just didn’t care enough about Eben’s feelings - he never did. For fuck’s sake; Eben was so stupid for ever thinking otherwise. He swallowed hard as eyes searched Jerome’s love-struck features. Eben gave him everything. Why couldn’t he do the same for Eben? Was he really that unworthy of such care?
❝ Why? You have everything you could ever want right here. ❞ He gestured pathetically around the kitchen, shaking his head slowly with disbelief. ❝ Why do you need to go and date some woman who probably couldn’t care less about you? I don’t get it! ❞ He leaned back against the counter, throwing his hands up. ❝ It’s stupid, J. Completely, utterly pointless but- ❞ Voice cracked as he then spoke softer. As if he finally understood Jerome’s true intentions. ❝ I get it now. I do. ❞
He nodded his head slowly, face scrunched up with such hurt and distaste for the man sat in front of him. Such an explosive reaction to a question so innocent but, to Eben, his world was crashing around him and there was nothing that he could do to stop it. He felt helpless and frantic - he was about to lose Jerome forever. ❝ All you do is take. Take, take, take, and you don’t give a shit about what it takes for somebody to give you their whole world. So… fucking ungrateful. I should've known better. ❞
In that moment, it was as if Eben was ready to self-destruct. Everything that he so desperately tried to grasp onto would be the very thing that he'd destroy in his warpath.
[align=center]
I'M BURNING BRIDGES, I DESTROY THE MIRAGE
[div style="width: 400px; font-family: georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 5pt; line-height: 1; letter-spacing: 2.6px; word-spacing: 1.9px; margin-bottom: 5px;"]ALL VISIONS OF COLLISIONS, FUCKING BON VOYAGE — truce.#1303
《 WRITING &. PINTEREST &. SPOTIFY 》
[div style="width: 400px; font-family: georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 5pt; line-height: 1; letter-spacing: 2.6px; word-spacing: 1.9px; margin-bottom: 5px;"]ALL VISIONS OF COLLISIONS, FUCKING BON VOYAGE — truce.#1303
《 WRITING &. PINTEREST &. SPOTIFY 》