03-23-2020, 03:31 AM
[align=center][div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 400px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: black"]“did you hear about-”
the boy sat on the living room floor, absently playing absently with small toy cars. the blonde casually eavesdropped on the conversation between his mom and her friend, humming absently to himself. “yeah, i heard his wife walked in on him sleeping with another man. alfred killed him later that day once word got out.” the boy’s eyes lit up at the mention of alfred. to some, heroes wore fancy uniforms and a flying cape. to freddie, his hero came in the form of his own uncle. he was always out there, following his rules. making sure others stuck with it, too. he could already picture alfred swooping in, probably putting a bullet in the man’s head. what an idiot. who thought they could get away with that rule and expect to make it out alive?
he couldn’t help but smile to himself. “i’m going out.”
“alright. take your brother with you!” eyes lifted up from the toy cars, a grin slowly breaking out across his features.
“wh- he doesn’t even want to go-”
“coming!” fred scrambled up to his feet, scurrying over towards the door. he grinned at his brother, a knowing look in his eyes. william sighed, defeated, before opening the door. fred followed after.
“did you hear about alfred?” will didn’t answer right away. fred took that as an opportunity to brag about what he knew. surely everyone at this point was tired of fred’s blind adoration for the man. “this guy was cheating on his wife with another man.” he crinkled his nose shortly, grimacing. “but then! alfred showed up later. and he had his gun-” he held a hand up, forming a finger gun. ”bang. he shot the guy before he even said anything! blood everywhere!” fred repeatedly pulled the trigger of his finger gun, then threw his arms up dramatically as if to represent the gushing blood. glancing over to see if will was paying attention. he wasn’t. fred pursed his lips.
he jumped in front of will, making him stop in his tracks. “you better look out. once i’m alfred someday, you’ll have to do everything i tell you.” will shook his head, lips twitching just barely as he skirted around his younger brother.
“you’ll never be alfred, fred.”
“says who? i follow all the rules. everybody loves me. i’m just like him!”
“says-” will seemed to think of how to explain it. thinking better not to, he simply waved a hand dismissively.
fred momentarily paused, hesitating-- then he grinned. “if i can’t be alfred-” without another word he simply leapt at will, jumping on his back. he held onto him tightly and refused to fall. “then i can be the guy that always kicks your ass.” will grunted in surprise, but fred could hear the subtle laughter under his breath.
“nice try.” it was almost too easy how he got out of fred’s hold, leaving fred scrambling to find his footing so he didn’t fall ass-first onto the ground. he stared after his brother with furrowed brows, trying to fight back an amused smile. will smiled briefly his way before waving for him to follow. “hurry up. i’ve got somewhere to be.”
fred slowly broke out into a grin before he hurried after.
the look in the woman’s eyes was the only warning he had before her drink was suddenly thrown in his face. she stood up and left the bar with a frustrated huff. fred wiped at his face enough so he could open his eyes. immediately they found will, looking smug as ever. figures. “bet you enjoyed watching that, didn’t you?” he mumbled as will walked over. the other teen didn’t say whether he did or not; fred had a good idea, though. he placed a hand on the blonde’s shoulder.
“you have so much to learn.” the words were so smug and belittling; fred couldn’t tell if he wanted to shove his brother away or punch him first. his older brother looked over towards the disgruntled woman, patting fred once before walking away. “watch and learn.”
the teen huffed a short breath. unconvinced, he leaned against the bar. he turned his head and grabbed his drink, swirling it around absently before he took a drink. if he ever wanted to get laid, he definitely had to do a lot better than that. what kind of stirling couldn’t even pick a girl up? he turned his head to look over at will- freezing, glass in hand, as he watched will put an arm around the girl’s waist, walking towards the door with her. will looked his way. fuck. maybe he actually should’ve watched and learned a thing or two.
raising his brows, a subtle smile twitched at his lips. he held his drink up as if to congratulate his brother; will subtly wagged his brows in return. fred huffed, saying under his breath before he took a sip, “lucky shit.” he watched as the pair left the bar, smiling subtly to himself. well. guess today simply wasn’t his day. he’d have to confront will about it some time; he just had to have set him up on purpose.
“that was cute.”
he looked towards the voice. it was someone he hadn’t seen around, before. older than him. dark hair with subtle curls. sultry eyes that begged for more. he stared at the older man. he felt frozen and unsure what to do. he wanted to react with disgust, wave a hand dismissively. no thanks. instead he just stared, lips parted with shock. the man laughed to himself, lowering his head briefly. “i like you already.” and he looked back at fred with those eyes. those goddamn eyes that looked at him as if he was worth something. looked at him as if he was some object of desire; the kind of person people wanted to have.
lips closed. then, they subtly twitched upwards. he leaned towards the other man. subtle interest. “i haven’t seen you around here, before.” and the two began to talk. it was only through another round of drinks that freddie found his eyes occasionally wandering towards the man’s lips as he talked. watched the way he swirled his finger around his glass. by the time he looked back up towards the stranger, the look in his eyes said it all. he leaned forward and whispered in the blonde’s ear;
“you should come home with me tonight.”
somewhere in his mind, he registered that this wasn’t right. if he left with this man, he could be seen. he could be killed for what thoughts went through his head. he could be killed for how badly he wanted to say yes. it was a rule; frederick stirling always followed alfred’s damn rules. yet sometimes there could be that voice in one’s head, quietly telling him that it wasn’t that bad. how bad could it be? nobody would have to know.
a decision he would come to regret for years. he slowly looked the man in the eyes and nodded his head. the man smirked before he stood up from his seat, walking a bit in front of fred as they left together, almost purposefully careful not to touch one another there. his heart raced. anxious, nervous.
excited.
“we’re almost there.” the tension between them as they walked up the steps was almost unbearable. eyes wandered around the apartment building, trying to take his mind off of exactly what he was getting himself into. if anyone were to ever find out… he shuddered. alfred would never look at him like he was some prized stirling. his brother would never want to see him again. he had every opportunity to leave; why the hell didn’t he take it?
they stopped at a door, the man fumbling with his keys to unlock it. fred looked around nervously until it opened. and here it was. last chance, he told himself. still, as the man held the door open, he hated how he barely even thought about it before stepping in. eyes wandered around the small and modest apartment. the other man closed the door, stepping past him to light a few candles throughout for lighting. fred took a few steps further inside, searching around the room before finding him again-- he wished those dark eyes didn’t look at him so fiercely.
he swallowed hard. the other started walking closer. “i’ve never-”
the man cupped his face, lips colliding in a way that made words mean nothing. it was the first time fred had ever kissed a man. he contemplated pulling away, saying he didn’t do this. because this--
this was wrong.
he always preached the rules to others, but once the door had closed it felt like all of the rules were thrown out the window. the man kissed him with so much fervor, lips colliding in such a way it was almost breathtaking. fred couldn’t think straight if he wanted to - at least, that’s what he would try and convince himself later on after the fact. still, as the other man pulled away shortly to help him pull off his shirt, then pull off his own, fred felt a pit of anxiety in his chest. disgust. lips met again, hands cupping the man’s face. god, what was he doing? what would his family think? the man started pushing him backwards, guiding him further into the apartment. what would alfred think?
he pushed fred, the younger man falling back onto the mattress. eyes stared up at the ceiling as the man kissed his neck; he slowly brought a hand up, fingers tangled in the man’s hair. this wasn’t right. anxiety and disgust burned in his chest so fiercely he thought he was going to be sick. a shaky, shuddering breath passed parted lips. “wait,” he whispered, so quietly that not even he could hear it. if the stranger had heard him, he didn’t acknowledge it. hands toyed with the fabric of his jeans. watering eyes continued to stare at the ceiling before they slowly closed. he swallowed hard, took a deep breath.
the man breathed against his neck, whispering in a voice that was smooth as honey. “oh, freddie.” with a shuddering breath, he brought the man’s face up to his own, searching his eyes in the dark before pressing their lips together again.
if he were to break any of the rules, let it only be this one.
he picked his clothes up from the floor quietly, throwing them on as he went. features stoic. he felt so empty. feet carried him towards the door. then, eyes wandered back towards the man sleeping peacefully in bed. eyes watered again, pursing his lips into a thin line. he opened the door and left without another word. ”it’s alright,” he tried to convince himself, stepping down the stairs. ”you’ll be fine.” he left the apartment complex. he turned the corner into an empty alley. “nobody needs to know.” he stopped. only then did it feel like his emotions came bubbling to the surface. eyes watered. a choked sob passed his lips.
nobody needed to know-- but fred knew. fred knew. and that was what ate him up inside.
he stood there, breath slowly becoming more uneven, shakier with each passing moment. tears threatened to spill. “god damn it!” he kicked at a nearby trash can, the pain of his leg colliding with metal meaning nothing to him. ”fucking-” he kicked at the trash can again, and again until it toppled over, trash spilling out. in his blind anger, he turned and hit against the wall. threw a solid punch at the brick-- the pain barely registered to him then. maybe at that point he deserved the pain. clenching his jaw, he looked at the mess around him. in one quick movement he picked up one of the glass bottles that fell from the trash can, throwing it as hard as he could across the alleyway. it collided with the ground on the other side, shattering and going everywhere. fred watched as the pieces scattered. brows furrowed, lips pressed together, face wet with tears.
fred blinked. how long had he been crying? he lowered his gaze, cradled his hand. walked over to lean his back against the wall. the best he could do was try and catch his breath, to stop crying over what he had done. stop crying because he had done it. a sudden sob passed his lips, and he fell apart. his shoulders trembled, hiccupping breaths as he slowly slid to the floor. he could keep himself from crying over what he had done -- but he could only start crying every time he remembered that he had liked it.
“jesus. that’s what you were up to?”
eyes flitted over to will across from him - saw eyes settled on his neck, riddled with hickeys. he forced a sheepish smile to his lips, bringing a hand up to cover half of the evidence. anxiety crept back into his chest, heart racing anxiously. “yeah. you’re not the only one getting around now, you know.” he looked over across the table at his brother. their eyes met momentarily. the guilt ate at fred just by a single glance alone. he turned his gaze away and began to play with his breakfast. “it was this-” he huffed a breath, “this old lady.” he shoveled a piece of scrambled egg into his mouth. his lips curled into a smile again, laughing quietly as he added, “i think she called me ‘kid’ and ‘sonny’ a couple times.”
eyes wandered slowly over towards will. while he looked confident on the outside, grin and smug eyes, fred felt anything but. dreaded that will wouldn’t believe him, even while he gave him no reason not to. will simply shook his head, shoulders shaking briefly with amusement before he began picking at his food. “you’re disgusting.” the words were enough for fred’s shoulders to relax, his grin softening before he continued eating. it was better to be known as disgusting for that, rather than his truth.
words couldn’t describe the guilt he felt after just lying to his brother. though, if he convinced himself that what he said was the truth, if he started to believe in his own lie… it would just make things easier to forget. he pointed an accusing fork his brother’s way. “yeah, after you stole that one girl from me. you did that on purpose. totally set me up to fail.” the feigned surprise on will’s features said it all. “i don’t think you needed me to fail-” and from there, as they got lost in absent conversation, fred convinced himself everything would be okay. he could live with this secret. nobody would ever have to know what he did.
nobody needed to know that it wouldn’t be the last time, either.
[ roughly 2,600 words and this is what i've got ! ! just fred's own internal struggle with his Bisexuality. a little glimpse into freddie himself beside just. being the goob that he is.
it's not open to replies. but comments and everything are sososo appreciated : ' ) ! ! ]
the boy sat on the living room floor, absently playing absently with small toy cars. the blonde casually eavesdropped on the conversation between his mom and her friend, humming absently to himself. “yeah, i heard his wife walked in on him sleeping with another man. alfred killed him later that day once word got out.” the boy’s eyes lit up at the mention of alfred. to some, heroes wore fancy uniforms and a flying cape. to freddie, his hero came in the form of his own uncle. he was always out there, following his rules. making sure others stuck with it, too. he could already picture alfred swooping in, probably putting a bullet in the man’s head. what an idiot. who thought they could get away with that rule and expect to make it out alive?
he couldn’t help but smile to himself. “i’m going out.”
“alright. take your brother with you!” eyes lifted up from the toy cars, a grin slowly breaking out across his features.
“wh- he doesn’t even want to go-”
“coming!” fred scrambled up to his feet, scurrying over towards the door. he grinned at his brother, a knowing look in his eyes. william sighed, defeated, before opening the door. fred followed after.
“did you hear about alfred?” will didn’t answer right away. fred took that as an opportunity to brag about what he knew. surely everyone at this point was tired of fred’s blind adoration for the man. “this guy was cheating on his wife with another man.” he crinkled his nose shortly, grimacing. “but then! alfred showed up later. and he had his gun-” he held a hand up, forming a finger gun. ”bang. he shot the guy before he even said anything! blood everywhere!” fred repeatedly pulled the trigger of his finger gun, then threw his arms up dramatically as if to represent the gushing blood. glancing over to see if will was paying attention. he wasn’t. fred pursed his lips.
he jumped in front of will, making him stop in his tracks. “you better look out. once i’m alfred someday, you’ll have to do everything i tell you.” will shook his head, lips twitching just barely as he skirted around his younger brother.
“you’ll never be alfred, fred.”
“says who? i follow all the rules. everybody loves me. i’m just like him!”
“says-” will seemed to think of how to explain it. thinking better not to, he simply waved a hand dismissively.
fred momentarily paused, hesitating-- then he grinned. “if i can’t be alfred-” without another word he simply leapt at will, jumping on his back. he held onto him tightly and refused to fall. “then i can be the guy that always kicks your ass.” will grunted in surprise, but fred could hear the subtle laughter under his breath.
“nice try.” it was almost too easy how he got out of fred’s hold, leaving fred scrambling to find his footing so he didn’t fall ass-first onto the ground. he stared after his brother with furrowed brows, trying to fight back an amused smile. will smiled briefly his way before waving for him to follow. “hurry up. i’ve got somewhere to be.”
fred slowly broke out into a grin before he hurried after.
the look in the woman’s eyes was the only warning he had before her drink was suddenly thrown in his face. she stood up and left the bar with a frustrated huff. fred wiped at his face enough so he could open his eyes. immediately they found will, looking smug as ever. figures. “bet you enjoyed watching that, didn’t you?” he mumbled as will walked over. the other teen didn’t say whether he did or not; fred had a good idea, though. he placed a hand on the blonde’s shoulder.
“you have so much to learn.” the words were so smug and belittling; fred couldn’t tell if he wanted to shove his brother away or punch him first. his older brother looked over towards the disgruntled woman, patting fred once before walking away. “watch and learn.”
the teen huffed a short breath. unconvinced, he leaned against the bar. he turned his head and grabbed his drink, swirling it around absently before he took a drink. if he ever wanted to get laid, he definitely had to do a lot better than that. what kind of stirling couldn’t even pick a girl up? he turned his head to look over at will- freezing, glass in hand, as he watched will put an arm around the girl’s waist, walking towards the door with her. will looked his way. fuck. maybe he actually should’ve watched and learned a thing or two.
raising his brows, a subtle smile twitched at his lips. he held his drink up as if to congratulate his brother; will subtly wagged his brows in return. fred huffed, saying under his breath before he took a sip, “lucky shit.” he watched as the pair left the bar, smiling subtly to himself. well. guess today simply wasn’t his day. he’d have to confront will about it some time; he just had to have set him up on purpose.
“that was cute.”
he looked towards the voice. it was someone he hadn’t seen around, before. older than him. dark hair with subtle curls. sultry eyes that begged for more. he stared at the older man. he felt frozen and unsure what to do. he wanted to react with disgust, wave a hand dismissively. no thanks. instead he just stared, lips parted with shock. the man laughed to himself, lowering his head briefly. “i like you already.” and he looked back at fred with those eyes. those goddamn eyes that looked at him as if he was worth something. looked at him as if he was some object of desire; the kind of person people wanted to have.
lips closed. then, they subtly twitched upwards. he leaned towards the other man. subtle interest. “i haven’t seen you around here, before.” and the two began to talk. it was only through another round of drinks that freddie found his eyes occasionally wandering towards the man’s lips as he talked. watched the way he swirled his finger around his glass. by the time he looked back up towards the stranger, the look in his eyes said it all. he leaned forward and whispered in the blonde’s ear;
“you should come home with me tonight.”
somewhere in his mind, he registered that this wasn’t right. if he left with this man, he could be seen. he could be killed for what thoughts went through his head. he could be killed for how badly he wanted to say yes. it was a rule; frederick stirling always followed alfred’s damn rules. yet sometimes there could be that voice in one’s head, quietly telling him that it wasn’t that bad. how bad could it be? nobody would have to know.
a decision he would come to regret for years. he slowly looked the man in the eyes and nodded his head. the man smirked before he stood up from his seat, walking a bit in front of fred as they left together, almost purposefully careful not to touch one another there. his heart raced. anxious, nervous.
excited.
“we’re almost there.” the tension between them as they walked up the steps was almost unbearable. eyes wandered around the apartment building, trying to take his mind off of exactly what he was getting himself into. if anyone were to ever find out… he shuddered. alfred would never look at him like he was some prized stirling. his brother would never want to see him again. he had every opportunity to leave; why the hell didn’t he take it?
they stopped at a door, the man fumbling with his keys to unlock it. fred looked around nervously until it opened. and here it was. last chance, he told himself. still, as the man held the door open, he hated how he barely even thought about it before stepping in. eyes wandered around the small and modest apartment. the other man closed the door, stepping past him to light a few candles throughout for lighting. fred took a few steps further inside, searching around the room before finding him again-- he wished those dark eyes didn’t look at him so fiercely.
he swallowed hard. the other started walking closer. “i’ve never-”
the man cupped his face, lips colliding in a way that made words mean nothing. it was the first time fred had ever kissed a man. he contemplated pulling away, saying he didn’t do this. because this--
this was wrong.
he always preached the rules to others, but once the door had closed it felt like all of the rules were thrown out the window. the man kissed him with so much fervor, lips colliding in such a way it was almost breathtaking. fred couldn’t think straight if he wanted to - at least, that’s what he would try and convince himself later on after the fact. still, as the other man pulled away shortly to help him pull off his shirt, then pull off his own, fred felt a pit of anxiety in his chest. disgust. lips met again, hands cupping the man’s face. god, what was he doing? what would his family think? the man started pushing him backwards, guiding him further into the apartment. what would alfred think?
he pushed fred, the younger man falling back onto the mattress. eyes stared up at the ceiling as the man kissed his neck; he slowly brought a hand up, fingers tangled in the man’s hair. this wasn’t right. anxiety and disgust burned in his chest so fiercely he thought he was going to be sick. a shaky, shuddering breath passed parted lips. “wait,” he whispered, so quietly that not even he could hear it. if the stranger had heard him, he didn’t acknowledge it. hands toyed with the fabric of his jeans. watering eyes continued to stare at the ceiling before they slowly closed. he swallowed hard, took a deep breath.
the man breathed against his neck, whispering in a voice that was smooth as honey. “oh, freddie.” with a shuddering breath, he brought the man’s face up to his own, searching his eyes in the dark before pressing their lips together again.
if he were to break any of the rules, let it only be this one.
he picked his clothes up from the floor quietly, throwing them on as he went. features stoic. he felt so empty. feet carried him towards the door. then, eyes wandered back towards the man sleeping peacefully in bed. eyes watered again, pursing his lips into a thin line. he opened the door and left without another word. ”it’s alright,” he tried to convince himself, stepping down the stairs. ”you’ll be fine.” he left the apartment complex. he turned the corner into an empty alley. “nobody needs to know.” he stopped. only then did it feel like his emotions came bubbling to the surface. eyes watered. a choked sob passed his lips.
nobody needed to know-- but fred knew. fred knew. and that was what ate him up inside.
he stood there, breath slowly becoming more uneven, shakier with each passing moment. tears threatened to spill. “god damn it!” he kicked at a nearby trash can, the pain of his leg colliding with metal meaning nothing to him. ”fucking-” he kicked at the trash can again, and again until it toppled over, trash spilling out. in his blind anger, he turned and hit against the wall. threw a solid punch at the brick-- the pain barely registered to him then. maybe at that point he deserved the pain. clenching his jaw, he looked at the mess around him. in one quick movement he picked up one of the glass bottles that fell from the trash can, throwing it as hard as he could across the alleyway. it collided with the ground on the other side, shattering and going everywhere. fred watched as the pieces scattered. brows furrowed, lips pressed together, face wet with tears.
fred blinked. how long had he been crying? he lowered his gaze, cradled his hand. walked over to lean his back against the wall. the best he could do was try and catch his breath, to stop crying over what he had done. stop crying because he had done it. a sudden sob passed his lips, and he fell apart. his shoulders trembled, hiccupping breaths as he slowly slid to the floor. he could keep himself from crying over what he had done -- but he could only start crying every time he remembered that he had liked it.
“jesus. that’s what you were up to?”
eyes flitted over to will across from him - saw eyes settled on his neck, riddled with hickeys. he forced a sheepish smile to his lips, bringing a hand up to cover half of the evidence. anxiety crept back into his chest, heart racing anxiously. “yeah. you’re not the only one getting around now, you know.” he looked over across the table at his brother. their eyes met momentarily. the guilt ate at fred just by a single glance alone. he turned his gaze away and began to play with his breakfast. “it was this-” he huffed a breath, “this old lady.” he shoveled a piece of scrambled egg into his mouth. his lips curled into a smile again, laughing quietly as he added, “i think she called me ‘kid’ and ‘sonny’ a couple times.”
eyes wandered slowly over towards will. while he looked confident on the outside, grin and smug eyes, fred felt anything but. dreaded that will wouldn’t believe him, even while he gave him no reason not to. will simply shook his head, shoulders shaking briefly with amusement before he began picking at his food. “you’re disgusting.” the words were enough for fred’s shoulders to relax, his grin softening before he continued eating. it was better to be known as disgusting for that, rather than his truth.
words couldn’t describe the guilt he felt after just lying to his brother. though, if he convinced himself that what he said was the truth, if he started to believe in his own lie… it would just make things easier to forget. he pointed an accusing fork his brother’s way. “yeah, after you stole that one girl from me. you did that on purpose. totally set me up to fail.” the feigned surprise on will’s features said it all. “i don’t think you needed me to fail-” and from there, as they got lost in absent conversation, fred convinced himself everything would be okay. he could live with this secret. nobody would ever have to know what he did.
nobody needed to know that it wouldn’t be the last time, either.
[ roughly 2,600 words and this is what i've got ! ! just fred's own internal struggle with his Bisexuality. a little glimpse into freddie himself beside just. being the goob that he is.
it's not open to replies. but comments and everything are sososo appreciated : ' ) ! ! ]
[align=center][div style="width:345px; font-family: arial; font-size:10pt; color: #060845;"]DON'T JUST STAND AND STARE
[size=10pt]*･ﾟ[abbr=24 years old, male, flintlock]✦[/abbr] COME ON AND BARE YOUR TEETH
[size=10pt]*･ﾟ[abbr=24 years old, male, flintlock]✦[/abbr] COME ON AND BARE YOUR TEETH