03-18-2020, 09:14 PM
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— freddie wasn’t completely heartless. at least, the more he looked at himself, the more he figured that he wasn’t. if he were to actually let someone in, they could probably make the same conclusion. but he didn’t let anyone in. he walked around with all these walls built up, hiding the darker parts within. and you know what? that wasn’t heartless of him; if anything that was the most selfless thing he ever did. he knew he had the power to hurt others, brutally, selfishly -- yet he kept on the inside. he was nice outwardly towards strangers. few people knew who he truly was on the inside. few people deserved to know. but at the heart of it all, just because he was a monster didn’t mean he was heartless. did he not feel as deeply as others? maybe. though he still had feelings nonetheless.
sometimes he wished he could feel painfully numb instead. “who said it was?” sometimes he wished he didn’t feel anything at all. else he wouldn’t be looking over at edmund, after saying one of the nicest things he’d ever said to the man. he wouldn’t be trying to offer some sort of consolation when he hardly knew how. though the defensive reaction made him quick to want to leave the conversation then and there. edmund looked back at the fire; fred’s gaze lingered a moment longer before he tore it away. now was his best time to leave, yet feet still stayed planted on the ground. who said the world was ending, eddie? the fucking look in his eyes said it; the way his lips quivered as he tried so hard to keep it together said it. the other man was falling apart in front of his very own eyes and even still, he was unwilling to acknowledge it.
it only made him more defensive, lashing back at fred. the younger man, surprised, looked at ed with raised brows.
then, he huffed a short note of laughter, lowering his head. his shoulders trembled slightly with his short bout of amusement. “oh, fuck you, eddie,” he noted in a casual breath of air - mainly because he wasn’t sure how the hell he was supposed to react. mainly because he didn’t know for certain that ed’s words were a lie, either. he ran his tongue slowly between his teeth, shaking his head. “always thinking you’re so smart, yeah?” frederick didn’t know what commitment felt. at least, if he ever thought he felt it, then he was bolting out the door. edmund had that right, and he hated how the older made it sound like his lack of commitment was a bad thing. a
at least freddie would never know what it was like to have a broken heart. eddie couldn’t say the same.
“i don’t know what commitment feels like. you know what? i never will,” he started, the amused look in his eyes slowly fading. there was a certain anger in them, a fire in those depths as he bit back, “but at least i don’t try and live a goddamn lie like you do.” they were words that were meant to hurt, meant to get under eddie’s skin. the attempt at niceties was over and you know what? it was all eddie’s fault.
men like them weren’t meant to be loved; at least freddie knew that and didn’t try and live a goddamn lie. at least he didn’t try to be anything different. he shook his head, and then dared to take a few steps forward. he pointed an accusatory finger at his cousin. “i feel like you want the whole world to turn against you, ed. and you know what?” he stepped close enough to press the finger into ed’s chest, clenching his jaw before he said, words laced with venom, “i can’t wait to watch you crash and burn.”
— freddie wasn’t completely heartless. at least, the more he looked at himself, the more he figured that he wasn’t. if he were to actually let someone in, they could probably make the same conclusion. but he didn’t let anyone in. he walked around with all these walls built up, hiding the darker parts within. and you know what? that wasn’t heartless of him; if anything that was the most selfless thing he ever did. he knew he had the power to hurt others, brutally, selfishly -- yet he kept on the inside. he was nice outwardly towards strangers. few people knew who he truly was on the inside. few people deserved to know. but at the heart of it all, just because he was a monster didn’t mean he was heartless. did he not feel as deeply as others? maybe. though he still had feelings nonetheless.
sometimes he wished he could feel painfully numb instead. “who said it was?” sometimes he wished he didn’t feel anything at all. else he wouldn’t be looking over at edmund, after saying one of the nicest things he’d ever said to the man. he wouldn’t be trying to offer some sort of consolation when he hardly knew how. though the defensive reaction made him quick to want to leave the conversation then and there. edmund looked back at the fire; fred’s gaze lingered a moment longer before he tore it away. now was his best time to leave, yet feet still stayed planted on the ground. who said the world was ending, eddie? the fucking look in his eyes said it; the way his lips quivered as he tried so hard to keep it together said it. the other man was falling apart in front of his very own eyes and even still, he was unwilling to acknowledge it.
it only made him more defensive, lashing back at fred. the younger man, surprised, looked at ed with raised brows.
then, he huffed a short note of laughter, lowering his head. his shoulders trembled slightly with his short bout of amusement. “oh, fuck you, eddie,” he noted in a casual breath of air - mainly because he wasn’t sure how the hell he was supposed to react. mainly because he didn’t know for certain that ed’s words were a lie, either. he ran his tongue slowly between his teeth, shaking his head. “always thinking you’re so smart, yeah?” frederick didn’t know what commitment felt. at least, if he ever thought he felt it, then he was bolting out the door. edmund had that right, and he hated how the older made it sound like his lack of commitment was a bad thing. a
at least freddie would never know what it was like to have a broken heart. eddie couldn’t say the same.
“i don’t know what commitment feels like. you know what? i never will,” he started, the amused look in his eyes slowly fading. there was a certain anger in them, a fire in those depths as he bit back, “but at least i don’t try and live a goddamn lie like you do.” they were words that were meant to hurt, meant to get under eddie’s skin. the attempt at niceties was over and you know what? it was all eddie’s fault.
men like them weren’t meant to be loved; at least freddie knew that and didn’t try and live a goddamn lie. at least he didn’t try to be anything different. he shook his head, and then dared to take a few steps forward. he pointed an accusatory finger at his cousin. “i feel like you want the whole world to turn against you, ed. and you know what?” he stepped close enough to press the finger into ed’s chest, clenching his jaw before he said, words laced with venom, “i can’t wait to watch you crash and burn.”
[align=center][div style="width:345px; font-family: arial; font-size:10pt; color: #060845;"]DON'T JUST STAND AND STARE
[size=10pt]*･ﾟ[abbr=24 years old, male, flintlock]✦[/abbr] COME ON AND BARE YOUR TEETH
[size=10pt]*･ﾟ[abbr=24 years old, male, flintlock]✦[/abbr] COME ON AND BARE YOUR TEETH