02-14-2020, 06:44 AM
THE WORTH OF MY LIFE
CALLUM . MALE . THE CHILDREN OF ABADDON . A DECREPIT ROSE GARDEN
he was jerked back down to the earth as the idea of kai being dead was expressed , dissociative fog dissipating quickly and the feeling left him winded , breath stagnating in his rose lined lungs and eyes watering painfully until they spilt messily over pale cheeks . neurons sparked and lit ablaze under pale smooth skin , fingers twitching , urgently grabbing onto the closest thing to him as he tried to find his breath again , trying to find some kind of stability in the face of the ground shaking idea of someone he cared so much for being dead .
( his biggest f e a r . ) his heart felt to big for his body .
samuel , he could never take kai's place . ( he had no right . ) callum wasn't as connected with abaddon like some of the others , but he knows with every inch of his being , with every atom that kept him together , abaddon wouldn't let this happen . a preposterous notion , nothing more than a boy trying to force himself into a rank he didn't belong . but however crazy , however blasphemous the idea may have been , it left callum drowning , forced under deep heavy waves , where chaos stirred and pulled him deeper and deeper .
he couldn't breathe , he couldn't breathe , he couldn't breathe . he . couldn't . b r e a t h e .
his vision blurred and darkened along the edges , the world fading out to nothing more than muffled sounds and voices , some louder than others but no easier to make out . ( someone was arguing . why ? ) pressing a hand to his chest as he finally managed to drag in a breath ( then two , three . . . ) , feeling it rise and fall sharply . lungs opening gradually , shuddered breaths in , out , in , out .
( one , two , three . one , two , three . one , two , three . )
he slowly resurfaced , but not without flushed cheeks , stinging eyes and fat tears streaking his face , the remains of tumultuous thoughts and feelings . feeling so strongly about something was rare , breath stalling and heart pounding loudly in his ears , and he couldn't help but wonder if that was some kind of sign . the kind of sign that others spoke gleefully about , how abaddon spoke to them through something rare and fleeting . he had heard plenty of times that he'd know when it happened .
( but did he truly know ? )
callum wouldn't believe a word said about kai being-- about t h a t , it was impossible .
( his biggest f e a r . ) his heart felt to big for his body .
samuel , he could never take kai's place . ( he had no right . ) callum wasn't as connected with abaddon like some of the others , but he knows with every inch of his being , with every atom that kept him together , abaddon wouldn't let this happen . a preposterous notion , nothing more than a boy trying to force himself into a rank he didn't belong . but however crazy , however blasphemous the idea may have been , it left callum drowning , forced under deep heavy waves , where chaos stirred and pulled him deeper and deeper .
he couldn't breathe , he couldn't breathe , he couldn't breathe . he . couldn't . b r e a t h e .
his vision blurred and darkened along the edges , the world fading out to nothing more than muffled sounds and voices , some louder than others but no easier to make out . ( someone was arguing . why ? ) pressing a hand to his chest as he finally managed to drag in a breath ( then two , three . . . ) , feeling it rise and fall sharply . lungs opening gradually , shuddered breaths in , out , in , out .
( one , two , three . one , two , three . one , two , three . )
he slowly resurfaced , but not without flushed cheeks , stinging eyes and fat tears streaking his face , the remains of tumultuous thoughts and feelings . feeling so strongly about something was rare , breath stalling and heart pounding loudly in his ears , and he couldn't help but wonder if that was some kind of sign . the kind of sign that others spoke gleefully about , how abaddon spoke to them through something rare and fleeting . he had heard plenty of times that he'd know when it happened .
( but did he truly know ? )
callum wouldn't believe a word said about kai being-- about t h a t , it was impossible .
[div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 300px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; color: black"]･ﾟ✧ i'm lost now . searching for my way out and i can barely see what its like to believe. ( walking hands with tragedy ) washed out , stripped apart my lungs drown . ( in the sea of reverie ) fall to the oceans deep , to the dark where i embrace .