﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS .
#9
[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 1.2; letter-spacing: 1px; word-spacing: 1px; color: #333;"]WHAT'S WORSE: LOSING SOMETHING , OR HAVING NEVER LOST ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER HAD ANYTHING TO LOSE ? THERE'S A SOUL SOMEWHERE BEHIND THOSE EMPTY EYES AND NEVER-SMILING LIPS . WHEN NO ONE KNOWS WHOSE FAULT IT IS , THE FAULT LIES WITHIN YOU . YOU CAN'T BE AFRAID TO LOSE SOMETHING THAT YOU'VE NEVER HAD . THERE'S NO FOOLING YOU , HUH ?

[ i. ]  jay holloway ; goes almost solely by holloway , and doesn't give out his first name to anyone but those he trusts , which is , as of right now , no one . nicknames aren't exactly a rare occurrence , and although they make him uncomfortable for Reasons , he won't say or do anything about it .

[ ii. ]  he's early / mid thirties , but might look a bit older because of exhaustion and other factors . he is of average height , and has a muscular build . his eyes are an empty grey - blue , hair dark brown that looks black when wet or in certain lighting ( or lack thereof ) . [ reference ; fc: j. gyllenhaal , specifically as detective loki in prisoners ] his clothing is all monotone ; greyscale ; black and shades / tints of grey . he often sticks to wearing a dark sweater or hoodie , even in the warmer months .

[ iii. ]  he has an intricate star tattoo on the left side of his neck , as well as a thin cross on his left hand and a small , hollow sun tattoo right above his right ankle ( which is always hidden ) . the star and the cross were from a time where he was more of a strong believer in his faith , but for over a decade , now , his faith has been lost and questioned . the sun on his ankle was his first tattoo , and a reminder to himself to never lose his fire ( and now servers as a reminder that he had a little too much fire , and still does ) . he got all the tattoos before the blackout .

[ iv. ]  often outwardly calm , and used to be the voice of reason among fighters in arguments , or those who voiced dumb ideas that would definitely get them into trouble until he became fully alone after the blackout . he seems hollow ( his last name is just a coincidence ) — like if you opened him up , there would be nothing inside ( metaphorically , of course ) . his stare is blank , and that of a dead man's . his smiles are very few , very rare , and usually very small and barely there .

[ v. ]  he thinks himself hollow and empty , as nothing more than a selfish man that needs to be alone forever . he isn't afraid of losing anyone , because he doesn't get close to anyone . it wasn't his fault , at first — people would naturally stray from him , drift away before they got close and became something he could lose — but then it became habit to keep everyone at a distance . not for safety , not for fear of being abandoned — but because it's all he's known . solitude and emptiness became his home .

[ vi. ]  he isn't empty or hollow — his heart pumps warm blood just like the rest of the human race , and he's felt pain and hurt and guilt and shame and everything , all at once . he's afraid of not being able to save someone who needs to be saved , and of incredible heights , and he jumps at loud noises and has tics he can't help . he is soft-spoken and kind , and a mediator at heart who strives for justice and solace for the 'innocent' . he has a fire deep inside him that can erupt at any moment , waiting to be violent and ugly and loud and destructive . he is self-loathing and tired . his hands are gentle and shake or even tremble , and he has a soft spot for children and animals .

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[align=center][div style="margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 3px; word-spacing: 2px; letter-spacing: 0.5px; font-family: verdana; font-size: 8pt;"]will probs be kinda slow to reply  ⸺  [ dump ]
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Messages In This Thread
﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 09-20-2019, 02:35 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by finny. - 09-20-2019, 02:37 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by aureate - 09-20-2019, 02:37 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by parks. - 09-20-2019, 02:38 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by Devilad - 09-20-2019, 02:41 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 09-20-2019, 02:53 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by skullcrow - 09-20-2019, 04:57 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by shizuknya - 09-20-2019, 02:29 PM
﹙ x. ﹚ JAY NOTES . - by marsy - 09-21-2019, 04:11 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by paddy - 09-25-2019, 10:23 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 11-13-2019, 06:30 PM
cowboy . - by marsy - 11-13-2019, 08:25 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 11-13-2019, 08:40 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by basorexia - 11-16-2019, 01:21 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by phantomatics - 11-22-2019, 06:11 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 12-11-2019, 07:08 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by HOLLAND - 12-16-2019, 04:03 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by HOLLAND - 12-16-2019, 04:04 PM
rory + holland edit . - by marsy - 12-20-2019, 08:48 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 12-20-2019, 08:49 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 12-25-2019, 05:30 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 12-25-2019, 07:19 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by LINK. - 04-12-2020, 12:47 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 07-05-2020, 12:13 AM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by phantomatics - 10-31-2019, 03:12 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by PLUTO. - 02-02-2020, 01:06 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by shizuknya - 02-02-2020, 09:14 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by ✶ CAIN - 02-05-2020, 01:59 AM
big yeehaw - by marsy - 02-27-2020, 06:39 PM
Re: ﹙ x. ﹚ TRIALS . - by marsy - 02-27-2020, 06:40 PM



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