02-14-2019, 06:12 PM
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9th Entry. 10 Years Ago
tw: n/a
It's a bit strange to think that ten years ago I was pining over you, puppylove turning into actual romance. I miss you a lot nowadays, but I'm happy here. I wish you were here too, that would've made things perfect.
But I've got new things to look forward to, even if sometimes they hurt. My feelings about Hayley are still complicated, but I think I've settled on being happy for her and Jackson; they clearly care a lot about each other, and I wouldn't be able to tolerate myself if I wished them ill for that.
Still, I can't help but see her and think she's the most beautiful, strongest person I've ever had the chance to meet. I adore her, and even though I know she will never return my affections I can't help but admire her. I think... I'll tell her, someday. Not today obviously, it's Valentines Day and that'd be much too awkward and crass.
Even though I know she'll reject me, it'll be good to get it out of my system.
...I guess I meant to write more about you, Mel, and less about Hayley. Sometimes I wonder if you'd be mad that I've found someone else to pine after, but I know that's, and I quote, "Your stupid brain being awful". You wouldn't be mad at me for finding happiness elsewhere when you're gone.
I wish there were flowers around here, I'd pick some for you. A whole bouquet you'd never see. But I have to settle for something else, maybe I should cook a big meal? I'll make all of your favorites, except for ambrosia because we... Don't really have access to fresh fruit.
Yes, I think that's what I'll do. I'll get started right away, it'll do me some good to get moving.
tw: n/a
It's a bit strange to think that ten years ago I was pining over you, puppylove turning into actual romance. I miss you a lot nowadays, but I'm happy here. I wish you were here too, that would've made things perfect.
But I've got new things to look forward to, even if sometimes they hurt. My feelings about Hayley are still complicated, but I think I've settled on being happy for her and Jackson; they clearly care a lot about each other, and I wouldn't be able to tolerate myself if I wished them ill for that.
Still, I can't help but see her and think she's the most beautiful, strongest person I've ever had the chance to meet. I adore her, and even though I know she will never return my affections I can't help but admire her. I think... I'll tell her, someday. Not today obviously, it's Valentines Day and that'd be much too awkward and crass.
Even though I know she'll reject me, it'll be good to get it out of my system.
...I guess I meant to write more about you, Mel, and less about Hayley. Sometimes I wonder if you'd be mad that I've found someone else to pine after, but I know that's, and I quote, "Your stupid brain being awful". You wouldn't be mad at me for finding happiness elsewhere when you're gone.
I wish there were flowers around here, I'd pick some for you. A whole bouquet you'd never see. But I have to settle for something else, maybe I should cook a big meal? I'll make all of your favorites, except for ambrosia because we... Don't really have access to fresh fruit.
Yes, I think that's what I'll do. I'll get started right away, it'll do me some good to get moving.
'cus it don't make a difference anyway
tags - 26yrs - 6'1 - he/him - representative of fl
tags - 26yrs - 6'1 - he/him - representative of fl
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