02-09-2019, 10:00 PM
[align=center]
7th Entry. Wasn't Meant To Be
tw: Self loathing, guns, you guys he's Sad
I am increasingly beginning to believe that fate doesn't have any sort of love in store for me. Once Jackson got here I should've just let it go; obviously if it came down to it, Hayley would pick the father of her child over some random nobody. It still hurts though, like a festering wound refusing to heal.
I thought I was over you, Mel, but I guess I'm not. My mind goes back to you, a hidden comfort to know at least you loved me. I mistook our love to mean that in the future I might be able to find something again, but I guess I was mistaken about that.
My hands still shake when I hold my gun, even though you taught me how to aim and how to hold it so the kickback doesn't knock me back. But you trained me with a pistol, and this rifle is so much bigger than that; I suppose it's a metaphor, for how much my world has expanded even without you here.
I still miss you so much, but I can't go back and I know that. I should be moving on, even if moving on hurts more than holding onto the past. I think you and Hayley would've gotten along, but maybe you'd butt heads. You always had a problem with authority. I like to believe you'd approve of my choice of romantic conquests, at least.
Anyways, I guess I should finish up. It's getting late and writing by candlelight is difficult at best, plus Beorhtwulf keeps whining at me whenever I wake him up by adjusting how I sit. So goodnight, my Melody.
tw: Self loathing, guns, you guys he's Sad
I am increasingly beginning to believe that fate doesn't have any sort of love in store for me. Once Jackson got here I should've just let it go; obviously if it came down to it, Hayley would pick the father of her child over some random nobody. It still hurts though, like a festering wound refusing to heal.
I thought I was over you, Mel, but I guess I'm not. My mind goes back to you, a hidden comfort to know at least you loved me. I mistook our love to mean that in the future I might be able to find something again, but I guess I was mistaken about that.
My hands still shake when I hold my gun, even though you taught me how to aim and how to hold it so the kickback doesn't knock me back. But you trained me with a pistol, and this rifle is so much bigger than that; I suppose it's a metaphor, for how much my world has expanded even without you here.
I still miss you so much, but I can't go back and I know that. I should be moving on, even if moving on hurts more than holding onto the past. I think you and Hayley would've gotten along, but maybe you'd butt heads. You always had a problem with authority. I like to believe you'd approve of my choice of romantic conquests, at least.
Anyways, I guess I should finish up. It's getting late and writing by candlelight is difficult at best, plus Beorhtwulf keeps whining at me whenever I wake him up by adjusting how I sit. So goodnight, my Melody.
'cus it don't make a difference anyway
tags - 26yrs - 6'1 - he/him - representative of fl
tags - 26yrs - 6'1 - he/him - representative of fl
text