02-06-2019, 10:11 PM
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5th Entry. Family
tw: implications of animal death
There are going to be new arrivals in my family; Claire's pregnant, which means there'll be a new litter of puppies to take care of. I can't imagine going back into the cold with newborn puppies, so I might stay another few months until they've grown a bit stronger.
Maybe it's selfish, to continue to take advantage of the hospitality of others for my own gain. I'm just afraid of losing more; my dogs are everything I have, I can't bear to lose any of them, even unborn ones. I'll try to keep this nervousness to myself, there's enough stress going around to fuel a lifetime; besides, there are humans who need care much more than my dogs.
Still, I'm selfish. I want those other people to get better, but I care for my own first and foremost. They're the only family I have left anyways, so it can't be too bad to value them over others? Hayley would certainly value Hope over all others if it came down to it, right? Nobody would blame Hayley for looking out for her daughter.
I think I need to get some fresh air, perhaps test out my new rifle. I'm not very skilled with guns, but Mel taught me a few things in the dead of night when her father was sound asleep. She never let me fire one, for obvious reasons, but I should hope my hands won't shake when I use them.
I... Think I've moved on from her, as well. I've found a new life, a new family to care for and new people to love though I doubt she loves me back. Still, I'm... Happy. Happy and scared, but overall content with my current course.
tw: implications of animal death
There are going to be new arrivals in my family; Claire's pregnant, which means there'll be a new litter of puppies to take care of. I can't imagine going back into the cold with newborn puppies, so I might stay another few months until they've grown a bit stronger.
Maybe it's selfish, to continue to take advantage of the hospitality of others for my own gain. I'm just afraid of losing more; my dogs are everything I have, I can't bear to lose any of them, even unborn ones. I'll try to keep this nervousness to myself, there's enough stress going around to fuel a lifetime; besides, there are humans who need care much more than my dogs.
Still, I'm selfish. I want those other people to get better, but I care for my own first and foremost. They're the only family I have left anyways, so it can't be too bad to value them over others? Hayley would certainly value Hope over all others if it came down to it, right? Nobody would blame Hayley for looking out for her daughter.
I think I need to get some fresh air, perhaps test out my new rifle. I'm not very skilled with guns, but Mel taught me a few things in the dead of night when her father was sound asleep. She never let me fire one, for obvious reasons, but I should hope my hands won't shake when I use them.
I... Think I've moved on from her, as well. I've found a new life, a new family to care for and new people to love though I doubt she loves me back. Still, I'm... Happy. Happy and scared, but overall content with my current course.
'cus it don't make a difference anyway
tags - 26yrs - 6'1 - he/him - representative of fl
tags - 26yrs - 6'1 - he/him - representative of fl
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