12-09-2018, 07:06 AM
[align=center][div style="borderwidth=0pt; font-size: 12px; text-align: justify; width: 450px;"]muse: amor nirvana dulce valdez
trigger warnings: blood, miscarrage, overall sadness
it was 3:17 am when amor woke up, her whole stomach and abdomen seemed to be cramping, making her wince a bit, but she wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. she had figured it was just because of something she had eaten for dinner. the moment of pain passed and she closed her eyes once more, ready to fall right back asleep. then it happened again, an intense pain that caused her body to go tense and her face to scrunch up some. ajax was looking at her, concerned about what was happening. mor didn't say anything, just sat up and put her legs over the side of the bed and slowly got up, "i'm going to the bathroom," she mumbled to him, deciding to go figure out what was going on by herself and not worry him unnecessarily; also, he wouldn't question her needing to use the restroom, she had already been needing it more and more and was only twenty weeks into her pregnancy.
it had been a surprise, unexpected, but they had decided to keep it even though ajax didn't really love kids. he was always getting better with hana and amor had always kind of wanted a child. they made the decision rather quickly, the idea of parenthood was exciting and then it was right there in front of their faces. the weeks had started to go by really fast and next thing they knew, they were both excited and nervous, amor was showing, and they were both spitting out names they liked. amor and ajax were so unprepared, but they kept telling eachother they could make it work. their apartment could work until they could afford a new place, cali would get used to a kid being around, their families would help watch them while they were away. it all looked like it could be almost perfect. of course, it seemed like it was too good to be true.
mor pulled the bathroom door closed before turning on the light. she quickly looked down at her stomach, noticing the blood that was on her ankle. she looked a bit harder, seeing blood on her legs and soaked through her underwear. she knew spotting was relatively common, but this amount of blood scared her. any blood was something to go to the doctors about, but this much.. her hand began shaking as she tried to clean herself up a bit before going out to get ajax, "it's gonna be okay. it's gonna be okay." she kept repeating to herself. "i'm bleeding," mor's voice shaking as she stepped out of the door. "we, um... we need to, uh, go to the hospital?" she said, not completely sure on what was the best thing to do as she tried to pull on some pants that were on the floor. ajax was next to her by the time she looked up, asking her questions that she really wasn't comprehending, "are you okay?" was one she happened to catch, but she didn't answer.
ajax helped her out of their room and apartment and into the car. the silence that engulfed the car was unsettling to amor; it allowed her mind to go into the darkest places and assume the worst. "i-i think i'm okay now.. we can go back home, she said, "the doctor said blood was normal," she added, looking intently at ajax and waiting for him to respond. "it's all down your legs; that's not normal, amor." he said, barely glancing off the road at her. "but, i feel okay now. i bet the baby's okay," mor lied, she really just didn't want to hear it, "amor!" ajax raised his voice, but caught himself, taking a deep breath, "we're going to the hospital." he told her, hurt coming into his tone. amor shut up after that.
not too many people were in the hospital and their situation was rather urgent, so they got in relatively quickly. the doctor collected a few things, leaving them alone in the room afterwards. that was the worst few minutes of her life. her and ajax didn't talk, just held hands on and off and anxiously waited for the doctor to come back with the news. the young couple straightened up as soon as the door opened and the middle-aged man in the white coat walked into the room. his face was too even, amor knew right away. she began shaking her head as she watched him, "i'm very sorry ms. valdez, you had a miscarriage. a nurse will be in soon to discharge you." amor was already crying. her hands covered her face and her knees came up to her chest. "what did i do wrong?" she cried as ajax pulled her into his chest. she could feel him shaking his head on top of hers. "nothing," he said quietly; he was crying too.
the car ride home was quiet. amor cried, but it was quiet and she couldn't bear to look at ajax because he was trying not to cry. the streets were calm and dreary, almost as if they were in mourning too. it was still dark, the clouds blocking the sun's rising.
ajax helped mor inside when they arrived back home; she sobbed when they got inside. she couldn't go into the bedroom, so ajax took care of the changing of the bed while she laid on the couch. every time she thought she was done crying it'd start again. she was curled into a ball, staring blankly at the tv that was off.
ajax came back and sat next to her after awhile. amor had no more tears to cry as she sat up slowly and curled up against him while ajax wrapped an arm around her. cali found a spot on the couch between them and the small family sat there in silence. amor felt so exhausted, but didn't want to sleep; she didn't want to do anything. and the idea of not having something they really didn't even know they wanted and didn't have yet crushed her, having to tell everyone they loved that they had lost the baby crushed her further. her heart and body physically hurt.
"you should try to get some sleep," ajax broke the silence with a whisper. amor shook her head. she rose and fell with his chest as he sighed, "we can try again, you know?" he said, trying to see a glimpse of his normally optimistic and positive girlfriend.
"maybe it's not meant for us." she spoke quietly and the silence fell over them again.
trigger warnings: blood, miscarrage, overall sadness
it was 3:17 am when amor woke up, her whole stomach and abdomen seemed to be cramping, making her wince a bit, but she wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. she had figured it was just because of something she had eaten for dinner. the moment of pain passed and she closed her eyes once more, ready to fall right back asleep. then it happened again, an intense pain that caused her body to go tense and her face to scrunch up some. ajax was looking at her, concerned about what was happening. mor didn't say anything, just sat up and put her legs over the side of the bed and slowly got up, "i'm going to the bathroom," she mumbled to him, deciding to go figure out what was going on by herself and not worry him unnecessarily; also, he wouldn't question her needing to use the restroom, she had already been needing it more and more and was only twenty weeks into her pregnancy.
it had been a surprise, unexpected, but they had decided to keep it even though ajax didn't really love kids. he was always getting better with hana and amor had always kind of wanted a child. they made the decision rather quickly, the idea of parenthood was exciting and then it was right there in front of their faces. the weeks had started to go by really fast and next thing they knew, they were both excited and nervous, amor was showing, and they were both spitting out names they liked. amor and ajax were so unprepared, but they kept telling eachother they could make it work. their apartment could work until they could afford a new place, cali would get used to a kid being around, their families would help watch them while they were away. it all looked like it could be almost perfect. of course, it seemed like it was too good to be true.
mor pulled the bathroom door closed before turning on the light. she quickly looked down at her stomach, noticing the blood that was on her ankle. she looked a bit harder, seeing blood on her legs and soaked through her underwear. she knew spotting was relatively common, but this amount of blood scared her. any blood was something to go to the doctors about, but this much.. her hand began shaking as she tried to clean herself up a bit before going out to get ajax, "it's gonna be okay. it's gonna be okay." she kept repeating to herself. "i'm bleeding," mor's voice shaking as she stepped out of the door. "we, um... we need to, uh, go to the hospital?" she said, not completely sure on what was the best thing to do as she tried to pull on some pants that were on the floor. ajax was next to her by the time she looked up, asking her questions that she really wasn't comprehending, "are you okay?" was one she happened to catch, but she didn't answer.
ajax helped her out of their room and apartment and into the car. the silence that engulfed the car was unsettling to amor; it allowed her mind to go into the darkest places and assume the worst. "i-i think i'm okay now.. we can go back home, she said, "the doctor said blood was normal," she added, looking intently at ajax and waiting for him to respond. "it's all down your legs; that's not normal, amor." he said, barely glancing off the road at her. "but, i feel okay now. i bet the baby's okay," mor lied, she really just didn't want to hear it, "amor!" ajax raised his voice, but caught himself, taking a deep breath, "we're going to the hospital." he told her, hurt coming into his tone. amor shut up after that.
not too many people were in the hospital and their situation was rather urgent, so they got in relatively quickly. the doctor collected a few things, leaving them alone in the room afterwards. that was the worst few minutes of her life. her and ajax didn't talk, just held hands on and off and anxiously waited for the doctor to come back with the news. the young couple straightened up as soon as the door opened and the middle-aged man in the white coat walked into the room. his face was too even, amor knew right away. she began shaking her head as she watched him, "i'm very sorry ms. valdez, you had a miscarriage. a nurse will be in soon to discharge you." amor was already crying. her hands covered her face and her knees came up to her chest. "what did i do wrong?" she cried as ajax pulled her into his chest. she could feel him shaking his head on top of hers. "nothing," he said quietly; he was crying too.
the car ride home was quiet. amor cried, but it was quiet and she couldn't bear to look at ajax because he was trying not to cry. the streets were calm and dreary, almost as if they were in mourning too. it was still dark, the clouds blocking the sun's rising.
ajax helped mor inside when they arrived back home; she sobbed when they got inside. she couldn't go into the bedroom, so ajax took care of the changing of the bed while she laid on the couch. every time she thought she was done crying it'd start again. she was curled into a ball, staring blankly at the tv that was off.
ajax came back and sat next to her after awhile. amor had no more tears to cry as she sat up slowly and curled up against him while ajax wrapped an arm around her. cali found a spot on the couch between them and the small family sat there in silence. amor felt so exhausted, but didn't want to sleep; she didn't want to do anything. and the idea of not having something they really didn't even know they wanted and didn't have yet crushed her, having to tell everyone they loved that they had lost the baby crushed her further. her heart and body physically hurt.
"you should try to get some sleep," ajax broke the silence with a whisper. amor shook her head. she rose and fell with his chest as he sighed, "we can try again, you know?" he said, trying to see a glimpse of his normally optimistic and positive girlfriend.
"maybe it's not meant for us." she spoke quietly and the silence fell over them again.