07-06-2018, 04:59 AM
so i think we've chatted ABOUT this general topic before but uhhhh,,,, in case you or anyone else finds it useful? imma just word vomit real quick.
fair warning that i spent over an hour typing this, was ninja'd a billion times, but fuck it, i'm posting it anyways. and wheeze i know shelf stocking might be appealing, but fair warning that they tend to wanna hire tall, strong people who can like,,,, reach shit. average club sucks my dood. also if you ever wanna get a job where you have to interact with humans, even a little, then i'd recommend getting in front of people while you're this age? cashier, waitress, customer service - it's really fucking hard to develop necessary ass-kissing skills beyond your early twenties, and if you intend to be anything other than a ceo from the get-go, you're gonna have to learn how to schmooze people.
and i'm a little bias towards fast food but idk you're constantly surrounded by people who can help and you learn to communicate and multi-task and shit and i feel like i got a lot from it personally?
[spoiler=camp job]so technically my first job was when i was fifteen at this after school program for little kids. it was outdoorsy focused and like we'd each take our own "bundle" (6-10 kids each depending) and do an activity. hiking, ghost stories, campfires, cooking, playing with chickens. it's kind of a weird program unique to my old school so like idk if you'll ever find something similar, but honestly i'd low key recommend working with kids first if you can? after school thing, summer camp, pre-school, tutoring tots, just whatever.
working with kids taught me a lot about like people and anxiety and awkward situations and i just learned how to handle myself because of it. like, kids don't know how to human yet. in my year working there, i had a kid ask me to wipe his butt, a kid try to convince me that i should be his girlfriend (he, six at the time, was sure he liked cougars), and i got really, really good at keeping the creatures from stabbing out each other's eyes or pushing them over a cliff.
you learn how to deal with really weird situations. butt wipe kid, for example: i, as a counselor, could get in deep shit (no pun intended) if i actually tried to handle that feat. so i learned how to talk a kid through wiping his butt. cougar kid: i learned how to politely decline a small child's romantic advances without it being weird or hurting his confidence. there's a lot of split second decisions, but so long as you don't touch butts, date six year old's, or harm a child, there's not a ton of ways you can go wrong. little kids don't know how to human, so if you've got anxiety or you're afraid or you're about to have a panic attack, those things know how to roll with the punches. once you've readjusted, they'll blink and forget it. and, in general, if you're having a moment and you need space, there's usually a senior counselor around to tap in.
personally, i think it's a great first job? it taught me how to be in charge of other living things, it taught me to have a shit ton of patience because those things aren't fast learners, and it taught me that, when they're not gross, kids can actually be kinda dope? plus small children, in general, worship the ground teenagers walk on.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=real job]so i usually consider this to be my first real job? since the camp was very informal and lose and this was a place with real schedules and duties and a clear hierarchy. i will say that i got the job easily because my uncle owns the restaurant, but i still had to interview with the guy who owns the restaurant chain, and i've done a shit ton of interviews on other people since.
but it's at this little restaurant chain that has, like, seven stores in our state only. people think we're fast food, but technically we're a diner, we just operate sort of like a fast food place? think the counter and no wait staff, but we serve the same food as most diners. i started working here on my sixteenth birthday because, instead of sweet sixteens in my family, you're given the honor of having to pay for household bills.
the overall hardest thing i've found is just how much your feet hurt. some nights, i've literally contemplated cutting them off to end the pain. good shoes don't help. inserts don't help. they never really stop hurting, you just kind of get used to it at some point, and the lack of circulation makes them go numb.
if you work somewhere with a fry-o-later (the most common brand of french fry makers), you'll learn to hate french fries, because let me tell you, those things are disgusting. that place where they dump the fries, with all the little holes for grease to escape? that shit pools and hardens and it haunts my nightmares to think i've ever eaten a french fry. also, those things let off an insane amount of grease, so if you've got one, get yourself some dawn dish soap in a nice scent, because that's the only thing on earth that will get it off your body or clothes.
and then there's the people, which might be the worst part about having social anxiety. the only thing i can really recommend is to force yourself. even when you're shaking and it's hard to breathe, stand at the counter, smile, and ask the customer how they're doing. odds are, you won't give a shit about their life, but 1. it's a way to get them talking, 2. customers are a whole lot nicer when they think you care about them, and 3. if they're a regular, you'll get to know them, and it's just easier to interact with people i know personally.
also, compliments. compliments compliments compliments compliments compliments compliments. if someone has a bitch face, if they've got a rude tone, if they give off asshole vibes, compliment them. make them feel good. pretend you like their ugly shirt or their horribly pink nails. obviously, don't compliment an old stained tee shirt, but try to find the one thing they put the most work into, and compliment them on that. a solid 8/10 times, it'll make them smile, and it'll make them nicer to you, because who doesn't like to be complimented? if it's not busy and you're allowed to, make a conversation about it. make them feel special. "oh my gosh your nails are so cute, did you do them yourself?" pump all that fake ass enthusiasm into your lies, make 'em smile, and smile right back. side note: i usually don't compliment guys who don't have nails or makeup just because idk how tf to compliment guys on their hair or their smell without coming across flirty. also side note: if they're not receptive to the first compliment, don't push it, just get the order over with.
and get really good at a very bright-n-perky look. even if you're working a double shift, it's nine at night, and you're ready to end it all, you've got to act like a squirrel on cocaine. smile, stand straight, keep your eyes alert and don't zone out. it took months to get good at this personally, but people turn into colossal dicks when they see you're depleted. if they ask how you are, be sort-of-honest. "i'm exhausted" "a little tired" "i want to have a mental breakdown" "ah, long day". even when you're feeling great, try to add in an adjective. you're not good, you're very good, or very well if you wanna sound smart. if you can muster up the pep, try out fan-tastic!, but you've got to match a word like that.
and, a little pro-tip: anything else gets old fast. find alternative phrases, and rotate through them in an order. "anything else?" "will that be all?" "are you all set?" my uncle calls that a raise-worthy-tendency.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=tips??]first, some interview questions that i ask people who are applying:
- what are your plans in 2/5/8/10 years?: if it's college, try to say you're staying local. don't say you want that persons job. most places don't want a six month turnover rate, so like, seem reliable, even if you plan on going to college across the country. they want to think you're smart, that you're gonna be a Somebody, so even if you're not sure about college, pretend you are. my uncle will flat out throw away an application if he thinks you're sixteen and want to make burgers for the rest of your life. seem like you'll be around for a couple years.
- do you have a way to get here?: yesyesyes. they're not going to hire you if they think you life twenty miles away and take the bus. they just wanna know that "i couldn't get a ride" will never be a reason why you call out.
also, just some general tips:
- apply somewhere you vibe with. i look in the mirror, i see the most basic white bitch, charlotte russe looking woman on earth. if i applied at hot topic, they'd laugh at me. i'm also a vegetarian, and i can't work at kfc if i'm gonna be puking every five minutes. i know the urge to apply to places that are "hiring", but someone with a goth/punk look isn't gonna be a great wal-mart greeter.
- don't call out, don't go home early, don't be late, unless you've worked a hundred hours. if you work, say, eight hour shifts, that's a little more than twelve shifts. the management at my job will drop you like a hot potato, because before a hundred hours, that's too soon.
- on that note, don't make a habit of it. there's a girl at my job who goes home every day, three hours into our shift, because "her back hurts", for the last five months. we're actively trying to replace her. no matter how shitty the job is, no matter how much you just wanna go on bb, no matter how much it hurts, no one wanna fuck with an unreliable bitch. something hurts? complain, leave early, go to a doctor. or suck it up and be an adult. i've worked a full week on a broken foot, i've seen a co worker cook with his non-dominant hand because the other was broken, i've seen my manager show up to work the day after having half of his teeth pulled. the most grown-up thing you'll learn in a real job is how to take all of your pain, put it in a bottle, and sob once your shift is over. it's really hard and shitty but pretty much every low-tier job out there requires it.
- also, feeling-containment is really important. at this job for two years, i've seen it all. i've had customers throw drinks, hot dogs, burgers, and hot fries at me. i've had people give me attitudes and bitch faces. i've had people insult the restaurant, insult the people around me, insult me. the people around you will understand if, when you get a large diet spite poured over your head, you want to fight a bitch. upper management, however, will not be happy about inevitable law suits. you're gonna get angry, you're gonna want to cry, you're gonna want to have an emotional breakdown. when you do, you either need to bottle that shit up, or you need to go to the bathroom for five minutes, sob next to a trash can full of tampons, and pray to god that they have a miserable life.[/spoiler]
this went,,,, all over the place. but honestly? i've got serious anxiety, and i can't be medicated because it'll interfere with my other medications. if i didn't have to work and be an adult, i wouldn't. one day, i hope i can have a job far far away from humans, because humans make me want to cry constantly. if you, like most people, can't overcome anxiety, you've just got to learn to work through it. hide it. ignore it. no one ever wants to, but getting started at seventeen is a lot better than getting started at thirty. shitty as it is, the world isn't built for people like us, so we've got to learn to pretend to be like everyone else. it isn't easy, it never is, but you've kinda gotta learn to fake it 'til you make it. shit, take some acting classes, learn to pretend until the lie is good enough to convince you. but i would 10/10 recommend biting the bullet, getting started soon, and figuring out where to go from there.
and, at the end of the day, if you get a job now, leave on a bad note in three months, you can politely leave it out of your resume. you can fuck up at seventeen. but you don't want to be twenty-five and trying to explain the employment gaps that you have because you don't have a good reference.
fair warning that i spent over an hour typing this, was ninja'd a billion times, but fuck it, i'm posting it anyways. and wheeze i know shelf stocking might be appealing, but fair warning that they tend to wanna hire tall, strong people who can like,,,, reach shit. average club sucks my dood. also if you ever wanna get a job where you have to interact with humans, even a little, then i'd recommend getting in front of people while you're this age? cashier, waitress, customer service - it's really fucking hard to develop necessary ass-kissing skills beyond your early twenties, and if you intend to be anything other than a ceo from the get-go, you're gonna have to learn how to schmooze people.
and i'm a little bias towards fast food but idk you're constantly surrounded by people who can help and you learn to communicate and multi-task and shit and i feel like i got a lot from it personally?
[spoiler=camp job]so technically my first job was when i was fifteen at this after school program for little kids. it was outdoorsy focused and like we'd each take our own "bundle" (6-10 kids each depending) and do an activity. hiking, ghost stories, campfires, cooking, playing with chickens. it's kind of a weird program unique to my old school so like idk if you'll ever find something similar, but honestly i'd low key recommend working with kids first if you can? after school thing, summer camp, pre-school, tutoring tots, just whatever.
working with kids taught me a lot about like people and anxiety and awkward situations and i just learned how to handle myself because of it. like, kids don't know how to human yet. in my year working there, i had a kid ask me to wipe his butt, a kid try to convince me that i should be his girlfriend (he, six at the time, was sure he liked cougars), and i got really, really good at keeping the creatures from stabbing out each other's eyes or pushing them over a cliff.
you learn how to deal with really weird situations. butt wipe kid, for example: i, as a counselor, could get in deep shit (no pun intended) if i actually tried to handle that feat. so i learned how to talk a kid through wiping his butt. cougar kid: i learned how to politely decline a small child's romantic advances without it being weird or hurting his confidence. there's a lot of split second decisions, but so long as you don't touch butts, date six year old's, or harm a child, there's not a ton of ways you can go wrong. little kids don't know how to human, so if you've got anxiety or you're afraid or you're about to have a panic attack, those things know how to roll with the punches. once you've readjusted, they'll blink and forget it. and, in general, if you're having a moment and you need space, there's usually a senior counselor around to tap in.
personally, i think it's a great first job? it taught me how to be in charge of other living things, it taught me to have a shit ton of patience because those things aren't fast learners, and it taught me that, when they're not gross, kids can actually be kinda dope? plus small children, in general, worship the ground teenagers walk on.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=real job]so i usually consider this to be my first real job? since the camp was very informal and lose and this was a place with real schedules and duties and a clear hierarchy. i will say that i got the job easily because my uncle owns the restaurant, but i still had to interview with the guy who owns the restaurant chain, and i've done a shit ton of interviews on other people since.
but it's at this little restaurant chain that has, like, seven stores in our state only. people think we're fast food, but technically we're a diner, we just operate sort of like a fast food place? think the counter and no wait staff, but we serve the same food as most diners. i started working here on my sixteenth birthday because, instead of sweet sixteens in my family, you're given the honor of having to pay for household bills.
the overall hardest thing i've found is just how much your feet hurt. some nights, i've literally contemplated cutting them off to end the pain. good shoes don't help. inserts don't help. they never really stop hurting, you just kind of get used to it at some point, and the lack of circulation makes them go numb.
if you work somewhere with a fry-o-later (the most common brand of french fry makers), you'll learn to hate french fries, because let me tell you, those things are disgusting. that place where they dump the fries, with all the little holes for grease to escape? that shit pools and hardens and it haunts my nightmares to think i've ever eaten a french fry. also, those things let off an insane amount of grease, so if you've got one, get yourself some dawn dish soap in a nice scent, because that's the only thing on earth that will get it off your body or clothes.
and then there's the people, which might be the worst part about having social anxiety. the only thing i can really recommend is to force yourself. even when you're shaking and it's hard to breathe, stand at the counter, smile, and ask the customer how they're doing. odds are, you won't give a shit about their life, but 1. it's a way to get them talking, 2. customers are a whole lot nicer when they think you care about them, and 3. if they're a regular, you'll get to know them, and it's just easier to interact with people i know personally.
also, compliments. compliments compliments compliments compliments compliments compliments. if someone has a bitch face, if they've got a rude tone, if they give off asshole vibes, compliment them. make them feel good. pretend you like their ugly shirt or their horribly pink nails. obviously, don't compliment an old stained tee shirt, but try to find the one thing they put the most work into, and compliment them on that. a solid 8/10 times, it'll make them smile, and it'll make them nicer to you, because who doesn't like to be complimented? if it's not busy and you're allowed to, make a conversation about it. make them feel special. "oh my gosh your nails are so cute, did you do them yourself?" pump all that fake ass enthusiasm into your lies, make 'em smile, and smile right back. side note: i usually don't compliment guys who don't have nails or makeup just because idk how tf to compliment guys on their hair or their smell without coming across flirty. also side note: if they're not receptive to the first compliment, don't push it, just get the order over with.
and get really good at a very bright-n-perky look. even if you're working a double shift, it's nine at night, and you're ready to end it all, you've got to act like a squirrel on cocaine. smile, stand straight, keep your eyes alert and don't zone out. it took months to get good at this personally, but people turn into colossal dicks when they see you're depleted. if they ask how you are, be sort-of-honest. "i'm exhausted" "a little tired" "i want to have a mental breakdown" "ah, long day". even when you're feeling great, try to add in an adjective. you're not good, you're very good, or very well if you wanna sound smart. if you can muster up the pep, try out fan-tastic!, but you've got to match a word like that.
and, a little pro-tip: anything else gets old fast. find alternative phrases, and rotate through them in an order. "anything else?" "will that be all?" "are you all set?" my uncle calls that a raise-worthy-tendency.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=tips??]first, some interview questions that i ask people who are applying:
- what are your plans in 2/5/8/10 years?: if it's college, try to say you're staying local. don't say you want that persons job. most places don't want a six month turnover rate, so like, seem reliable, even if you plan on going to college across the country. they want to think you're smart, that you're gonna be a Somebody, so even if you're not sure about college, pretend you are. my uncle will flat out throw away an application if he thinks you're sixteen and want to make burgers for the rest of your life. seem like you'll be around for a couple years.
- do you have a way to get here?: yesyesyes. they're not going to hire you if they think you life twenty miles away and take the bus. they just wanna know that "i couldn't get a ride" will never be a reason why you call out.
also, just some general tips:
- apply somewhere you vibe with. i look in the mirror, i see the most basic white bitch, charlotte russe looking woman on earth. if i applied at hot topic, they'd laugh at me. i'm also a vegetarian, and i can't work at kfc if i'm gonna be puking every five minutes. i know the urge to apply to places that are "hiring", but someone with a goth/punk look isn't gonna be a great wal-mart greeter.
- don't call out, don't go home early, don't be late, unless you've worked a hundred hours. if you work, say, eight hour shifts, that's a little more than twelve shifts. the management at my job will drop you like a hot potato, because before a hundred hours, that's too soon.
- on that note, don't make a habit of it. there's a girl at my job who goes home every day, three hours into our shift, because "her back hurts", for the last five months. we're actively trying to replace her. no matter how shitty the job is, no matter how much you just wanna go on bb, no matter how much it hurts, no one wanna fuck with an unreliable bitch. something hurts? complain, leave early, go to a doctor. or suck it up and be an adult. i've worked a full week on a broken foot, i've seen a co worker cook with his non-dominant hand because the other was broken, i've seen my manager show up to work the day after having half of his teeth pulled. the most grown-up thing you'll learn in a real job is how to take all of your pain, put it in a bottle, and sob once your shift is over. it's really hard and shitty but pretty much every low-tier job out there requires it.
- also, feeling-containment is really important. at this job for two years, i've seen it all. i've had customers throw drinks, hot dogs, burgers, and hot fries at me. i've had people give me attitudes and bitch faces. i've had people insult the restaurant, insult the people around me, insult me. the people around you will understand if, when you get a large diet spite poured over your head, you want to fight a bitch. upper management, however, will not be happy about inevitable law suits. you're gonna get angry, you're gonna want to cry, you're gonna want to have an emotional breakdown. when you do, you either need to bottle that shit up, or you need to go to the bathroom for five minutes, sob next to a trash can full of tampons, and pray to god that they have a miserable life.[/spoiler]
this went,,,, all over the place. but honestly? i've got serious anxiety, and i can't be medicated because it'll interfere with my other medications. if i didn't have to work and be an adult, i wouldn't. one day, i hope i can have a job far far away from humans, because humans make me want to cry constantly. if you, like most people, can't overcome anxiety, you've just got to learn to work through it. hide it. ignore it. no one ever wants to, but getting started at seventeen is a lot better than getting started at thirty. shitty as it is, the world isn't built for people like us, so we've got to learn to pretend to be like everyone else. it isn't easy, it never is, but you've kinda gotta learn to fake it 'til you make it. shit, take some acting classes, learn to pretend until the lie is good enough to convince you. but i would 10/10 recommend biting the bullet, getting started soon, and figuring out where to go from there.
and, at the end of the day, if you get a job now, leave on a bad note in three months, you can politely leave it out of your resume. you can fuck up at seventeen. but you don't want to be twenty-five and trying to explain the employment gaps that you have because you don't have a good reference.
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[color=#BCD8E4][shadow=black,left]a weekend on a boat in california
memes available upon request  van#5054