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[div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 9pt; line-height:13px;"]zackary boehner  and i got a thing for you, now, and it won't go, it won't go. and i think i want you more now, but you don't know, you don't know
 zackary roger boehner was born to maren and patton boehner on the fourth of june in 2002 in cambridge, massachusetts. zack is mixed  his mom's a jewish high school chemistry teacher who moonlights as a community organizer and his dad's a black coo of some bigshot marketing firm in boston  and he only has one sibling, an older sister's who currently a junior at uc berkeley. his last name isn't pronounced "boner", it's "baner", as he loves to point out, but that doesn't stop him from making dick jokes at any possible moment.
 he got involved in show choir during in middle school. his mom and the choir teacher were best friends, and so his mom decided that zack should put his five-plus years of dance classes to work and signed him up for it. he honestly hated it at first, because he had to dance with girls (because he still thought girls were gross) but now he's super into it. he auditioned for his school's highest choir his freshman year and got in, so now he's one of two sophomores in a choir that's about 80% seniors. it has its perks, the greatest one being that he gets fawned over by senior girls.
 he doesn't have adhd, but their choreographer swears he does because of how he wilds out in rehearsals. there was one time where he literally danced and fell into the pit because he was just getting too lit.
 he has a different lululemon headband on at every rehearsal  he claims it's to keep his hair out of his eyes, but everyone knows he does it because everyone thinks it's either funny or adorable.
 zack participated in the choir's "no-shave november" and while he expected to have a full ass beard, all he had was a little bit of stubble that everyone, even his choir teacher, roasted him for it.
 his typical outfit consists of a souvenir t-shirt from some place off the east coast, khakis, vans, and a whole wrist-full of bracelets from camp. it's his official look, to the point where one of the altos even dressed up as him for the choir halloween party.
 his dad makes sure he stays rounded and doesn't become one of those weird kids who eats, sleeps, and breathes show choir, which is why he plays lacrosse. he's not exceptional or anything, but he's good enough that he'll probably make varsity his junior year.
 his finsta, to which the user is "zackattacksboner" (because he's a real class act), is followed by at least 90% of his school. he's actually pretty funny, and he specializes in taking pictures of choir kids at the worst possible time and turning them into memes. no one is safe, not his friends, not his choir director, and not even zack himself.
 he's been hooked up with the younger sisters of the choir kids so many times and it only even showed signs of working out once. she wasn't straight, so they only went on two dates, but they joke about it all the time and they're still good friends to this day.
 he used to be scrawny like a beanpole until he started working out with one of the seniors in choir. now he's jacked™ and it's cool until he starts flexing on his sister and she puts his little ass in a headlock.
 he's got weirdly specific talents, including the ability to pogo for a solid three minutes straight while he burps the alphabet and the inability to just not talk about some weird anime shit for like two seconds.
 his life story is literally just "i did something stupid trying to hang with the big boys and now i'm ass naked in the back of a choir mom's yukon and two minutes away from a denny's in new hampshire"
 he's the one person that's not allowed to have snacks or drink on the bus whenever the choir gets bused to competitions because the last time they went to a competition he spilled hot coffee on the driver's lap and made them two hours late. he personally thought it was funny, but since they got to the hotel at 11:00 instead of at 9:00, not everyone was feeling the same.
 his thirteenth birthday gift from his sister was theodora, the little fluffy monster who has absolutely taken over his life. she still sleeps in his bed to this day, even though she snores like an eighty year-old man who's smoked everyday since she was nine. that's just love, man.
[div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 9pt; line-height:13px;"]zackary boehner  and i got a thing for you, now, and it won't go, it won't go. and i think i want you more now, but you don't know, you don't know
 zackary roger boehner was born to maren and patton boehner on the fourth of june in 2002 in cambridge, massachusetts. zack is mixed  his mom's a jewish high school chemistry teacher who moonlights as a community organizer and his dad's a black coo of some bigshot marketing firm in boston  and he only has one sibling, an older sister's who currently a junior at uc berkeley. his last name isn't pronounced "boner", it's "baner", as he loves to point out, but that doesn't stop him from making dick jokes at any possible moment.
 he got involved in show choir during in middle school. his mom and the choir teacher were best friends, and so his mom decided that zack should put his five-plus years of dance classes to work and signed him up for it. he honestly hated it at first, because he had to dance with girls (because he still thought girls were gross) but now he's super into it. he auditioned for his school's highest choir his freshman year and got in, so now he's one of two sophomores in a choir that's about 80% seniors. it has its perks, the greatest one being that he gets fawned over by senior girls.
 he doesn't have adhd, but their choreographer swears he does because of how he wilds out in rehearsals. there was one time where he literally danced and fell into the pit because he was just getting too lit.
 he has a different lululemon headband on at every rehearsal  he claims it's to keep his hair out of his eyes, but everyone knows he does it because everyone thinks it's either funny or adorable.
 zack participated in the choir's "no-shave november" and while he expected to have a full ass beard, all he had was a little bit of stubble that everyone, even his choir teacher, roasted him for it.
 his typical outfit consists of a souvenir t-shirt from some place off the east coast, khakis, vans, and a whole wrist-full of bracelets from camp. it's his official look, to the point where one of the altos even dressed up as him for the choir halloween party.
 his dad makes sure he stays rounded and doesn't become one of those weird kids who eats, sleeps, and breathes show choir, which is why he plays lacrosse. he's not exceptional or anything, but he's good enough that he'll probably make varsity his junior year.
 his finsta, to which the user is "zackattacksboner" (because he's a real class act), is followed by at least 90% of his school. he's actually pretty funny, and he specializes in taking pictures of choir kids at the worst possible time and turning them into memes. no one is safe, not his friends, not his choir director, and not even zack himself.
 he's been hooked up with the younger sisters of the choir kids so many times and it only even showed signs of working out once. she wasn't straight, so they only went on two dates, but they joke about it all the time and they're still good friends to this day.
 he used to be scrawny like a beanpole until he started working out with one of the seniors in choir. now he's jacked™ and it's cool until he starts flexing on his sister and she puts his little ass in a headlock.
 he's got weirdly specific talents, including the ability to pogo for a solid three minutes straight while he burps the alphabet and the inability to just not talk about some weird anime shit for like two seconds.
 his life story is literally just "i did something stupid trying to hang with the big boys and now i'm ass naked in the back of a choir mom's yukon and two minutes away from a denny's in new hampshire"
 he's the one person that's not allowed to have snacks or drink on the bus whenever the choir gets bused to competitions because the last time they went to a competition he spilled hot coffee on the driver's lap and made them two hours late. he personally thought it was funny, but since they got to the hotel at 11:00 instead of at 9:00, not everyone was feeling the same.
 his thirteenth birthday gift from his sister was theodora, the little fluffy monster who has absolutely taken over his life. she still sleeps in his bed to this day, even though she snores like an eighty year-old man who's smoked everyday since she was nine. that's just love, man.
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oh, what a time to be alive! — hub