[ &. KILLING ME SLOW — CH DUMP ]

[THESEUS]

[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 1.4;"][spoiler=secret thing for later, don't open]He takes a deep breath and lets it out a little too fast. "Wait, just —" His throat suddenly feels dry, but Theo reaches up to tug at his own sleeve until it rolls over his shoulder. "You were worried about the scars on my arm earlier. They're around twenty years old, I think. My mom got mad when I knocked over the ashtray." Slim fingers press over them before shifting away. They don't hurt anymore. Some of the others do, but the ache is lessened now. "My favorite color is red because it's the color of the jacket my adoptive dad wears. It makes me feel safe, because he got me out of there when nobody else could. And the first hoodie he gave me was yellow, and — it reminds me that I have a home somewhere." His voice goes quiet as he realizes that he's holding on to the counter top as tightly as he can, until he hands feel both numb and cold. It's impossible to explain the sudden panic that has overtaken him, the desperation to be heard. "He used to read me Shakespeare, so we had a dog named Mercutio. Now Tybalt. It was either that or Hamlet." He's breathing easier now, but still finds himself trembling ever so slightly.

"I had my first kiss when I was still a kid, because I was stupid and curious and he started it. Guess I liked it." Theo tries to laugh, though the sound wavers and he looks back down at this hands to watch the bandages shift when he drums on the counter. "Letty could have saved himself but he didn't, he just held that stupid bear and —" His breath stops, the heel of his palm pressed hard into his eyes for a moment. "— and I can't get over that. But I know I can't think about that forever, so. You don't need to know any of this but I want you to." He doesn't tell him that all he could think about when he was on that floor, blood in his mouth and lungs, was the fact that nobody would remember anything real about him if he died. "And I think you're right. Brown's a pretty color."