01-20-2018, 01:08 PM
/tw: discussion of suicide (with blood and gore mentions) in all but the last two paragraphs- last two paragraphs are the most important part anyway
It was strange, how one's view of such a severe topic as suicide could morph so drastically in the span of just a few years, and almost entirely because of one person.
As a child, she hadn't been able to comprehend entirely the prospect of ending one's own life. When Michael had contacted them all through telepathy and told them he couldn't lead anymore, and when she had arrived at the roadside to find him bloodied and broken, her fragile psyche had assumed that he had accidentally stumbled into the path of an oncoming car, and the telepathic message had been sent in his last moments afterwards. Never had she realized, at least until Florence showed up on their doorstep a few months later, that Michael might have sent the message while leaving the territory, and then flung himself into the automobile's path of his own accord.
For the longest time after that, she had despised him. While he had been enjoying his peace in the afterlife, LithiumClan rotted away within the confines of the hospital, its members slowly scattering to the winds in hopes that maybe, somewhere else, they could find happiness- but never there, never where the pathetic, childish weakling of a leader had been chained down and left to watch as everything fell apart. And then- and then he'd had the gall to betray them, to terrorize them, to act like being the good guy was so "difficult" and "boring" when they had all been doing so for so much longer than he had. How could she see suicide as anything other than a cowardly escape, when Michael's sole purpose for doing so had been to sabotage the clan that had loved him so much?
Yet, when she had stumbled across Devlin's bloody note on the floor of her room, she hadn't loathed the seal point for doing so. As much fury and resentment as she had harbored (and as Peregrine would have once been able to attest, Seija had harbored several lifetimes' worth of both), she could never bring herself to hate the one person who had stayed after Michael's death, the one person who actually understood that a child could not lead a clan alone- the one person whose internal agony had been clear to see for months, and yet whom she had done nothing for. Of course Devlin wouldn't have been able to withstand any more of it, not when everyone she had once thought was worth caring about had abandoned her.
Now, of course, Seija had no one left to rely on, and no one left relying on her. Two things, both intangible and relatively trivial, tethered her to the mortal plane; one was the fact that she had to find someone who would listen to her if she told them about LithiumClan, and the other was the fact that she absolutely would not let herself become even the slightest bit like Michael (a thought that was petty as all get out, but it worked well enough to keep her going).
Regardless, when she overheard screaming from down the mountain, the mutated canine rushed down the trail, eyes narrowing. She didn't recognize the voice, but allowing a newcomer and potential listener to die would likely shoot a hole in her future plans. If they needed medical attention, she'd just have to lead them back up the mountain if possible, or administer first aid if not... staying focused on logistics was probably the best survival mechanism there was.
Arriving on the scene, Seija glanced between the stranger and the ledge. She wasn't entirely sure what he was rambling about, but given the scream she'd heard earlier and the fact that the snow would make it easier to slip and fall, odds were that if she left him like this, he'd probably go careening off the edge of the cliff sooner or later (by accident or otherwise). "I would recommend that you follow me to the peak," she stated bluntly- no introductions, those would come later. "Staying out here is inadvisable."
It was strange, how one's view of such a severe topic as suicide could morph so drastically in the span of just a few years, and almost entirely because of one person.
As a child, she hadn't been able to comprehend entirely the prospect of ending one's own life. When Michael had contacted them all through telepathy and told them he couldn't lead anymore, and when she had arrived at the roadside to find him bloodied and broken, her fragile psyche had assumed that he had accidentally stumbled into the path of an oncoming car, and the telepathic message had been sent in his last moments afterwards. Never had she realized, at least until Florence showed up on their doorstep a few months later, that Michael might have sent the message while leaving the territory, and then flung himself into the automobile's path of his own accord.
For the longest time after that, she had despised him. While he had been enjoying his peace in the afterlife, LithiumClan rotted away within the confines of the hospital, its members slowly scattering to the winds in hopes that maybe, somewhere else, they could find happiness- but never there, never where the pathetic, childish weakling of a leader had been chained down and left to watch as everything fell apart. And then- and then he'd had the gall to betray them, to terrorize them, to act like being the good guy was so "difficult" and "boring" when they had all been doing so for so much longer than he had. How could she see suicide as anything other than a cowardly escape, when Michael's sole purpose for doing so had been to sabotage the clan that had loved him so much?
Yet, when she had stumbled across Devlin's bloody note on the floor of her room, she hadn't loathed the seal point for doing so. As much fury and resentment as she had harbored (and as Peregrine would have once been able to attest, Seija had harbored several lifetimes' worth of both), she could never bring herself to hate the one person who had stayed after Michael's death, the one person who actually understood that a child could not lead a clan alone- the one person whose internal agony had been clear to see for months, and yet whom she had done nothing for. Of course Devlin wouldn't have been able to withstand any more of it, not when everyone she had once thought was worth caring about had abandoned her.
Now, of course, Seija had no one left to rely on, and no one left relying on her. Two things, both intangible and relatively trivial, tethered her to the mortal plane; one was the fact that she had to find someone who would listen to her if she told them about LithiumClan, and the other was the fact that she absolutely would not let herself become even the slightest bit like Michael (a thought that was petty as all get out, but it worked well enough to keep her going).
Regardless, when she overheard screaming from down the mountain, the mutated canine rushed down the trail, eyes narrowing. She didn't recognize the voice, but allowing a newcomer and potential listener to die would likely shoot a hole in her future plans. If they needed medical attention, she'd just have to lead them back up the mountain if possible, or administer first aid if not... staying focused on logistics was probably the best survival mechanism there was.
Arriving on the scene, Seija glanced between the stranger and the ledge. She wasn't entirely sure what he was rambling about, but given the scream she'd heard earlier and the fact that the snow would make it easier to slip and fall, odds were that if she left him like this, he'd probably go careening off the edge of the cliff sooner or later (by accident or otherwise). "I would recommend that you follow me to the peak," she stated bluntly- no introductions, those would come later. "Staying out here is inadvisable."
this is not a place of honor
no great deeds are commemorated here
no great deeds are commemorated here