i feel pretty and witty and gay // woodsy

[woodsy]

[quote author=paddy link=topic=14.msg31238#msg31238 date=1490325082]
sTOP I AM SHTINGGTTING ALL ORVER MSEYLFYS
zOOBI DOOBI ZOOBI DOOBI PAMPAAAAARA

all of my characters are now of fantastical nature

[spoiler=my grade a quality re-application for the rpa]The three examples of my finest work, mon ami, mon cheri

"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT AND Bob went into the grocery store. It was full of forbidden fruit. Literally. He's a doctor and you know what they say, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. He couldn't afford to keep himself away from himself, now could he? Plus, none of the fruit was on sale and he had barely any money to stay alive."

"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY MORNING AND Cleopatra realized that it wasn't stormy or dark at all. She was just relaxing in a coffin in a pyramid. What better a life to live then that of a queen. She picked up her skeleton phone and dialed 1-800-HOTLINE-BLING to see if her best friend Drake would pick up. Apparently he was too busy writing a new album or something. Hmph. How ridiculous. Maybe she'd have his head. But first, she needed to check her Twitter. She hadn't checked it since two seconds ago while trying to emerge this thought."

"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY MID-AFTERNOON/TEATIME AND Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds; While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave a lustre of midday to objects below, When what to my wondering eyes did appear, But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer, With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too— And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a pedler just opening his pack. His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; he spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, and laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight— “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

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fingers crossed that i won't get banned for sending her this
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