11-23-2017, 03:52 AM
i feel like
since the ff shit happened i haven't been able to fully recover
because after that my depression just got significantly worse and now it's progressing?? and i just
i ask my mom
i beg her
to get me on drugs because i cannot handle this any longer, but she doesn't want me hopped up on pills like some "loon", because she thinks it'll change me
and i just
i just hate life right now
i genuinely find no pleasure in any games or drawing or writing
high school is kicking my ass
my family is extremely unsupportive
and i just
oh my god
i just fucking hate my life so, so much
i want to fucking die
i would kill myself if i wasn't afraid? and i have so many self-esteem issues it's ridiculous and i just
im ashamed of who i am, what i want to be, etc. my family makes me ashamed, too
i just
im so fucking bored. constantly. im fucking crying my eyes out and im bored, and i dont know what to do, nothing is fun anymore, my friends try to help me but im scared going to them because it's the same thing over and over again ("im sad"/"im pissed"/"im lonely") and everyone makes me feel like nobody cares? genuinely? im just another person on the internet. i dont mean anything to you. if i died today, nobody would give a shit, because you'd sniffle for a moment and then move on with your life
goddamit
im a failure of a human being. i can't socialize. i cant have healthy relationships. im a fucking disaster and i deserve to lay in a grave and fucking stay there. i let down everyone and nobody fucking cares.
i just want help that's all i fucking ask
im slowly getting worse and its just so fucking painful
since the ff shit happened i haven't been able to fully recover
because after that my depression just got significantly worse and now it's progressing?? and i just
i ask my mom
i beg her
to get me on drugs because i cannot handle this any longer, but she doesn't want me hopped up on pills like some "loon", because she thinks it'll change me
and i just
i just hate life right now
i genuinely find no pleasure in any games or drawing or writing
high school is kicking my ass
my family is extremely unsupportive
and i just
oh my god
i just fucking hate my life so, so much
i want to fucking die
i would kill myself if i wasn't afraid? and i have so many self-esteem issues it's ridiculous and i just
im ashamed of who i am, what i want to be, etc. my family makes me ashamed, too
i just
im so fucking bored. constantly. im fucking crying my eyes out and im bored, and i dont know what to do, nothing is fun anymore, my friends try to help me but im scared going to them because it's the same thing over and over again ("im sad"/"im pissed"/"im lonely") and everyone makes me feel like nobody cares? genuinely? im just another person on the internet. i dont mean anything to you. if i died today, nobody would give a shit, because you'd sniffle for a moment and then move on with your life
goddamit
im a failure of a human being. i can't socialize. i cant have healthy relationships. im a fucking disaster and i deserve to lay in a grave and fucking stay there. i let down everyone and nobody fucking cares.
i just want help that's all i fucking ask
im slowly getting worse and its just so fucking painful