I WAS HER WITNESS / dump

[vix]

[spoiler=rant] I wonder why if I continue to suck at everything I do why I continue to be there. honestly, i feel like i can't really do nothing right, not even with my passions, i feel like i'm just a waste of energy on this site, here for nothing really, and i can feel my writing getting increasingly worse by the minute, almost as if i'm losing my ability to do so. i want to write, but don't have muse and my writing just sucks. i can't do my work like i should be doing and my teacher hates me for whatever reason. i'm social, but i feel uncomfortable around groups of crowds outside of school because there's too much going on and my mom doesn't want to plan any trips because she doesn't trust that i'm going to get all my work done, and all my friends are ignoring me. sometimes i wonder if people are just being my friend because they pity me. i hope that's not true, because if they just wouldn't, then the weight of worrying about them when i'm suicidal would be lifted from my shoulders. but would i be able to handle the truth??