off she goes — dump

[fuentes]

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[div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 9pt; line-height:13px;"]HOUSTON PRYOR — and all the players in the orchestra pit were playing perfectly fine / but i just didn't get it yeah, yeah
• fifteen to seventeen years old.
• my very first totally and completely caucasian character (bowie doesn't count because he was raised by a black woman) so you better believe he's gonna be a walking white people stereotype.
• houston texas pryor was born to susan and greg pryor on november 27th in houston, texas. susan and greg, who may or may not love their child because who the hell names their kid after where they were born, both work as psychologists, and houston's an only child.
• his parents got divorced when he was five. it was a pretty amicable thing, and they both got remarried to other psychologists, so houston's got four people trying to psychoanalyze him to make sure his parents' divorce didn't completely destroy him. he's literally cyrus from andi mack, like exactly. he changes houses every month, like one month he'll be living with his mom and stepdad and then the next he'll be with his dad and stepmom.
• he's such a bitch ass nerd,, like i know that i should love him or whatever but i would honestly kick his ass if i knew him irl because he's just so lame.
• he doesn't know if he's just a brunette or a dark redhead and it's the one thing that keeps him up at night.
• "fuck this," says houston as he continues to try his very hardest.
• he acts like he hates school but he's the type to get good grades and join a ton of clubs just for the fun of it. he even joined his school's black student union — it was awkward at first, but now everyone else in the bsu loves their token mayonnaise boy.
• he accidentally read a smut with a/b/o dynamics because his friend sent the link to him with zero context and he still hasn't been able to hear the words alpha, beta, or omega without screaming.
• you can tell that he's an only child because he's a little weird, like he doesn't pick up on non-verbal cues that easily and getting him to share is definitely a challenge. it's nothing too bad, but it's definitely noticeable.
• he's just another heterosexual short boy with a bit of a napoleon complex.
• he watches law and order: special victims unit religiously because he has the hugest crush on mariska hargitay.
• he has this condition where the muscle on some of his joints doesn't stick as well as it should which causes his joints to just straight up shift, which is why he's constantly wearing a knee brace or a wrist brace.
• houston has probably been told "stop that, you little fucking gremlin" like nine times a day. 
• "dude, i don't mean to be a buzzkill or anything but xo tour llif3 is lowkey a suicidal cry for help and i don't think i can get hype while i'm worried that lil uzi vert might end his life."
• you have to tag him in at least five memes a day or else your friendship with him is terminated.
• he uses "dude" and "man" as gender-neutral terms of familiarity.
• he doesn't start fights but he always ends up getting into one, probably because he said something he shouldn't have. he's gotten his ass whooped approximately fifteen times.
• he took a few sips of a beer at a party and then called his mom crying to confess like two minutes later.
• houston honestly should not be allowed to dress himself because he dresses like s ninth grade fuckboy and it's nasty as hell.
• i am literally accepting volunteers to roast/kick his ass.
• he probably listens to weezer and matchbox 20. those are the only white people bands i know but trust me he listens to the rest of them, too.
• he ate an authentic taco once and almost started crying because it was too spicy for him. if we're being honest here, anything spicer than unseasoned mashed potatoes is too much for him.
• he's always wanted to have a pet but he's allergic to dogs and his parents hated cats, so he had to settle for fish that died like the day after he got them from the store.
• when it comes to girls, houston definitely has a type and it can be explained by this image.