i leave for a single day and this is what i come back to. more emo kids? mm not surprising
when this r e p e t i t i o n ends behind the window shades, a semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I've made —— that most unrestful bed, that most original of sins, and you'll say that's what I get when I let ambition win again. I'd hate to let you [sub]down,[/sub] so I'll let the waters [sup]rise[/sup] and drown my dull reflection in the naïve expectation in your eyes. back in a cast bit-part, back when I felt most free, I had a butcher's / heart and no-one thought they knew me . . . . . . [ ★ ]
hell kinda imploded oops
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i like how yall are analyzing and theorizing abt the video but i'm making shitty edits like a sub-par member of society
i can live vicariously through you guys
when this r e p e t i t i o n ends behind the window shades, a semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I've made —— that most unrestful bed, that most original of sins, and you'll say that's what I get when I let ambition win again. I'd hate to let you [sub]down,[/sub] so I'll let the waters [sup]rise[/sup] and drown my dull reflection in the naïve expectation in your eyes. back in a cast bit-part, back when I felt most free, I had a butcher's / heart and no-one thought they knew me . . . . . . [ ★ ]
Quote:(handwritten note) WEST WALL BLOCKED, EAST IS UP
The perplexities of the Dema horizon didn't occur to me until my ninth year. It was then that I began to contemplate the existential, and decide what type of impression I wanted my life to make. Naturally, to fuel my hope, I looked out upon the distance of the land that had cultivated me, only this time with new awareness of the obstruction that my youthful ignorance had allowed me to overlook. Was it there the whole time? How had I not seen something so obvious? I am reminded of the moment daily, as the realization directly collides with a unique hope for my own future. As a child, I looked upon Dema with wonder, today, I am wrought with frustration, as I spend each day squninting for a glimpse of the top of the looming wall that has kept us here. It was upon my ninth year that I learned that Dema wasn't my home. This village, after all of this time, was my trap. Before I became realized, I had deep affection for Dema. There was a wonderful structure to the city that put my cares to rest. Streets and locations were dependable, and the responsibilities of the day seemed to be accomplished with minimal effort. Once a task was taught and understood, we delighted in our ability to complete our obligations timely, and felt secure in knowing tomorrow's duties would be accomplished with the same efficiency. We all worked to represent our bishop with honor, and knew that each inhabitant of our region had a like-minded dedication to consistency. Keons embodied the spirit of this dedication. Of Dema's nine bishops, Keons was reserved as unwavering and forthright, possessing the ability to achieve focus that was rare for most in our region. We all admired his, and felt honored to be inhabitants of his region. While we had heard legend of the ruthlessness of other bishops, Keons possessed a stoic demeanor unlike anyone I had ever met, and we were all proud to serve. - Clancy
Quote:To refer to Dema as m[y] home has never felt accurate. Dema, t[o] me, has simply been the place that I've existed, or, the 'slot' they've put me in. I've heard stories abo[u ]t the ide[a] of "home," and its depiction has always seemed warm f[r]om the storyt[e]ller's de[s ]cription. [T]here was a romant[i ]c ownership of the p[l]ace they inhabited that I admired, but cou[l]d never relate to. Thi[s ] place, my p[l]ace, however, s[e]ems devoid of the romance and wond[e]r that the old stories tell. But somewhere between the iron order and fallible [p]recis[i ]on of Dema, a hum of wo[n]der exists. It's this quiet wonder that my mind tends to [g]ets lost in. This hope of discovery alone has birthed a new version of myself; A better version, I hope, that will find a way to experience what's beyond these colossal walls. - Clancy
Quote:A lifeless light surrounds us each night. Never could I imagine that something so luminous could feel so dark. It's this glow that reminds us of the dreamless existence we've been sentenced to. But what I call a sentence, others accept as normalcy. How did they so efficiently eradicate the dreams within us? When the bishops instituted Vialism as mandate, they effectively reversed the hope that many arrived with. Am I the only one who realizes that we've been lied to? Am I the only one not afraid of the notion that the nine have hijacked our trust, and extinguished the hope that once motivated our existence? We used to close our eyes and picture a better life, now this city is full of dry eyes caught in a trance of obedience, devoid of any trace of an identity. The only significant light I've seen has been in the eyes of those smeared - such a curious sight, to see bright eyes strangled by the darkness of bishop hands. As their penance fades, so dims their memory of something more. My hope of something more is all I have in this rigid tomb, and I will not let it die. - Clancy
Quote:I've made it out.
I feel weightless. I know that place had always held me down, but for the first time, I can feel the unity that I had hoped in. It's been three nights now, and my breathing has changed - it's slower, and more full. It's like the air out here is actually worth taking in.
I can see it back in the distance, and I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't constantly on my mind. I wish I could turn that fear off, but maybe the further I go, the less that fear will affect me. I feel betrayed by what I assumed was home. If I ever end up back there, I won't be able to look at it the same way.
They are asleep. They're so sure that they know the truth, and carry on throughout their day with the same meaningless tasks. They've forgotten to look up, and to look outward, to understand that this isn't about 'in there.'
This is about 'out here.'
This new world surrounds me. I used to think the walls back home were massive- these green cliffs engulf me, and place me right in the middle- Trench is quite precarious at times, and it's easy to grow weary. But it's real, and it's true, and I'd much rather endure reality than to mindlessly be obedient to a life that someone else created for me. I've obsessed about this world for so long, that it feels more like home than anything I've experienced. Somehow, in this vast openness, I feel more protected than ever.
The landscape feels endless, and I've found myself walking for hours without any true evidence of getting further down. But I've seen plants and colors out here that I'm not sure I've witnessed before. There's a beauty in the strangest places,- and the curiosity of what's next continues to motivate me.
I wonder who else is out here. If what i assumed inside is true, there's got to be more like me. Sometimes I'll feel a presence, only to look up and see nothing. It's just another thing that I'm afraid of that also excites me. It all just confirms all of the things that I hoped to be true for all of this time.
I am out here and I am very alive. I'm sometimes scared, but always discovering something new, and I will not stop. Cover me!
-Clancy
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(07-14-2018, 07:25 AM)sans. link Wrote: i like how yall are analyzing and theorizing abt the video but i'm making shitty edits like a sub-par member of society
i can live vicariously through you guys exactly you can
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(07-14-2018, 08:10 AM)crows link Wrote: [quote author=sans. link=topic=16541.msg430833#msg430833 date=1531553155]
i like how yall are analyzing and theorizing abt the video but i'm making shitty edits like a sub-par member of society
i can live vicariously through you guys exactly you can
[/quote]
![[Image: tumblr_o72th6Wkmx1uwkd1wo4_1280.jpg]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/537ac107e4965e1c3825f55055529e7b/tumblr_o72th6Wkmx1uwkd1wo4_1280.jpg)
My baybe is comin back and angier than ever
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ANATHEMAAAAA
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my interior world needs to sanitize
![[Image: tumblr_onk4nyp5Ab1v2knlpo1_400.gif]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/20645a16579b07aac5251fb08bc85046/tumblr_onk4nyp5Ab1v2knlpo1_400.gif) ![[Image: tumblr_onk4nyp5Ab1v2knlpo2_400.gif]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/100ea81b24942fa2cc6e8c9fc7f5eb09/tumblr_onk4nyp5Ab1v2knlpo2_400.gif)
GIFS?? ? OM L G I F S
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HM >! HMMMMMM!M! HMMMMMMAYHAPSIMDIED!
[align=center] ★ [ SHE'S NEON, SHINE YOUR LIGHT! ] ★
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