12-04-2017, 01:23 AM
[align=center][div style="width: 402px; text-align: justify; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 1; text-transform: lowercase"]He was helpless, worthless, unwanted. Such thoughts had manifested fairly quickly and they persisted and refused to leave him alone. They were like bees buzzing right next to his ears relentlessly. All the shoves and slurs and punches had left gaping holes, bruises, unseen scars beneath the surface on his consciousness. The more he fought back, or tried to, the worse it got to the point where he simply let it happen and took it without a complaint. He let people he had once considered his friends hit him and kick him and harass him and he let it happen because he knew he deserved this after every wrong he had committed in his life.
A voice nagged at his mind, reminding him that no one - not even his parents - would care if he just disappeared. In fact, that was probably what they all wanted instead of seeing his face every day and wasting their energy with the constant harassment. Nobody would worry if they noticed he just dropped off the face of the Earth without a goodbye note or text or message. It would probably result in a celebration by everyone that he was gone and never seen or heard from again. They would really appreciate it, him being gone.
He sat alone most of the time, staring down at his notebook or lunch or desk. He stared wherever he knew that he would not catch the eye of someone. It was common to see him, a person who was tall and athletically built, being pushed around by those shorter than him. It left him feeling weak and helpless against the trials life was bombarding him with. There was no stopping the endless assault of hatred and disgust from his peers. The only way to get rid of it was to leave for good, not in the way you would think. He would just disappear and never return and rid everyone of the misery of seeing his face, one that sported a black eye often these days, every single day. It honestly seemed like the right thing to do.
So, he left without saying a word.
He did not know where to go or what to do. His heart was tugging at him to go back, to talk to the one person who had yet to say a word of disgust or distaste after he had been outed. In fact, he was there for him and offered to be a shoulder for him to cry on. No. He could not return because that meant experiencing more pain and the possibility of dragging another into the hell his life had morphed into. He could not bear the burden of hurting him ever again.
It was cold and snow blew through the air without a thought, the lake covered in a sheet of ice with a blanket of white resting on top of it. He just looked at it and felt what seemed like peace fill his being. Here he did not have to hear the horrible words of his peers. Here he did not have to be pushed to the ground or punched or kicked. Here he was finally safe.
But it is hard to feel safe when you continue to feel like a burden to every single person in the world, even those you had not met and would never meet. He felt like baggage people would tug behind them and purposefully forget. He was the epitome of something unwanted by those who surrounded him. He was the stupid and ugly dog abandoned on the side of the road that every patron who passed by refused to help because of how wounded and dirty he was.
he was alone and unwanted by all.
A voice nagged at his mind, reminding him that no one - not even his parents - would care if he just disappeared. In fact, that was probably what they all wanted instead of seeing his face every day and wasting their energy with the constant harassment. Nobody would worry if they noticed he just dropped off the face of the Earth without a goodbye note or text or message. It would probably result in a celebration by everyone that he was gone and never seen or heard from again. They would really appreciate it, him being gone.
He sat alone most of the time, staring down at his notebook or lunch or desk. He stared wherever he knew that he would not catch the eye of someone. It was common to see him, a person who was tall and athletically built, being pushed around by those shorter than him. It left him feeling weak and helpless against the trials life was bombarding him with. There was no stopping the endless assault of hatred and disgust from his peers. The only way to get rid of it was to leave for good, not in the way you would think. He would just disappear and never return and rid everyone of the misery of seeing his face, one that sported a black eye often these days, every single day. It honestly seemed like the right thing to do.
So, he left without saying a word.
He did not know where to go or what to do. His heart was tugging at him to go back, to talk to the one person who had yet to say a word of disgust or distaste after he had been outed. In fact, he was there for him and offered to be a shoulder for him to cry on. No. He could not return because that meant experiencing more pain and the possibility of dragging another into the hell his life had morphed into. He could not bear the burden of hurting him ever again.
It was cold and snow blew through the air without a thought, the lake covered in a sheet of ice with a blanket of white resting on top of it. He just looked at it and felt what seemed like peace fill his being. Here he did not have to hear the horrible words of his peers. Here he did not have to be pushed to the ground or punched or kicked. Here he was finally safe.
But it is hard to feel safe when you continue to feel like a burden to every single person in the world, even those you had not met and would never meet. He felt like baggage people would tug behind them and purposefully forget. He was the epitome of something unwanted by those who surrounded him. He was the stupid and ugly dog abandoned on the side of the road that every patron who passed by refused to help because of how wounded and dirty he was.
he was alone and unwanted by all.
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[align=center][div style="font-size:14pt; font-family: georgia; color: #29181C;"]i told myself that i wouldn't be scared
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but i'm still having nightmares [color=#29181C]characters | trashcan
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