02-26-2021, 12:21 AM
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Once came a time where Eddie never believed in a forever. Life was ever-changing, and usually for the worst. As if slowly he eroded away over the years until one day he would disappear. Maybe a part of it was a hopeful self-fulfilling prophecy, as if if he thought of it enough then it would manifest as reality. But instead, he’d remain unwavering as damaged goods in a world that left him behind. He would lose people he loved, lifestyles that brought comfort and safety, friends to curb the loneliness that sunk into his bones.
Things never were never meant to last forever, but forever was all he needed.
For years, Eddie challenged what was meant to last, and in turn self-sabotaged all things that could very well have protected him from the truth for a little longer. Perhaps he believed that good things could never come to him; after all, men like Edmund could never be loved. Not really.
But then, Eddie would come to reunite with a woman that had been there from the very start. Maxine Van Doren, who Eddie was certain had been his first love — and he hoped that she’d be his last. She was good to him, and brought about the gentleness that she had loved when they were still kids. The life in his eyes, as if she were the one to provide it for him. She gave him peace in a head so burdened with horror; with her, he slept undisturbed. And, without her, she was often on his mind.
She was the woman that Eddie wanted to spend forever with, if there ever were such a thing.
When Eddie had asked Seb to accompany him on a patrol one morning, he was already deep in thought. Enough for his stomach to twist and turn with anxiety whilst features remained so stoic and unmoving. Brows bunched together sternly whilst Eddie trekked through the snow, hands in his pockets, until he willed himself to clear this throat to speak.
❝ So… Seb. ❞ Eddie murmured softly, eyes ahead as he tried to push aside his nerves. He was a traditional man and, as her parents were no longer, Seb would be the most suitable person for Eddie to ask. Slowly releasing a long sigh, Eddie eventually stopped and turned so that he could better face Seb. ❝ I’m in love with Maxine. I love her now, and I’ve loved her since we were kids. ❞ Eddie felt so vulnerable with those very words passing his lips. A man so closed off and protective of his feelings, confessing his love felt so unnatural to him.
But, he respected tradition. Lifting his chin ever-so-slightly, gaze shifted over towards Seb. ❝ There is no one that I’d rather spend the rest of my life with than her and… I wanted to ask for your blessing… Because I’d like to ask her to marry me. ❞ He nearly felt sick to his stomach. Whilst he was hopeful that Seb would say yes, Eddie always had his worries. After all, who would ever want to spend forever with a man like Eddie?
Once came a time where Eddie never believed in a forever. Life was ever-changing, and usually for the worst. As if slowly he eroded away over the years until one day he would disappear. Maybe a part of it was a hopeful self-fulfilling prophecy, as if if he thought of it enough then it would manifest as reality. But instead, he’d remain unwavering as damaged goods in a world that left him behind. He would lose people he loved, lifestyles that brought comfort and safety, friends to curb the loneliness that sunk into his bones.
Things never were never meant to last forever, but forever was all he needed.
For years, Eddie challenged what was meant to last, and in turn self-sabotaged all things that could very well have protected him from the truth for a little longer. Perhaps he believed that good things could never come to him; after all, men like Edmund could never be loved. Not really.
But then, Eddie would come to reunite with a woman that had been there from the very start. Maxine Van Doren, who Eddie was certain had been his first love — and he hoped that she’d be his last. She was good to him, and brought about the gentleness that she had loved when they were still kids. The life in his eyes, as if she were the one to provide it for him. She gave him peace in a head so burdened with horror; with her, he slept undisturbed. And, without her, she was often on his mind.
She was the woman that Eddie wanted to spend forever with, if there ever were such a thing.
When Eddie had asked Seb to accompany him on a patrol one morning, he was already deep in thought. Enough for his stomach to twist and turn with anxiety whilst features remained so stoic and unmoving. Brows bunched together sternly whilst Eddie trekked through the snow, hands in his pockets, until he willed himself to clear this throat to speak.
❝ So… Seb. ❞ Eddie murmured softly, eyes ahead as he tried to push aside his nerves. He was a traditional man and, as her parents were no longer, Seb would be the most suitable person for Eddie to ask. Slowly releasing a long sigh, Eddie eventually stopped and turned so that he could better face Seb. ❝ I’m in love with Maxine. I love her now, and I’ve loved her since we were kids. ❞ Eddie felt so vulnerable with those very words passing his lips. A man so closed off and protective of his feelings, confessing his love felt so unnatural to him.
But, he respected tradition. Lifting his chin ever-so-slightly, gaze shifted over towards Seb. ❝ There is no one that I’d rather spend the rest of my life with than her and… I wanted to ask for your blessing… Because I’d like to ask her to marry me. ❞ He nearly felt sick to his stomach. Whilst he was hopeful that Seb would say yes, Eddie always had his worries. After all, who would ever want to spend forever with a man like Eddie?
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I'M OUT OF MY MIND, REPLAYING THE SCENE