FORGIVE ME FATHER / eddie
#1
[align=center][div style="width: 370px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 1.4; color: black;"]— it was just past dawn. hues of red and pale pink stretched across the sky, speckled with white clouds. colt sat upon the edge of his bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. he looked around the room- his room. finally, after two entire weeks of being an official member of the lodge, he'd gotten his own place to stay. he had been living in the med bay up until this point due to his hypothermia, but that had just about cleared up. aside from the occasional cough, he'd pretty much fully recovered, his strength returned to him. and he felt better than ever.

the young man rolled his shoulders, reaching down to tug his fur-lined boots onto his feet and lace them up tightly. he very much would've preferred to still be asleep, but he had a job to do. eddie had asked him to help set up defense barriers, get the territory ready for the war looming on the horizon. for a moment, his mind wandered back home. the corners of his lips twitched; the other mercs probably thought that he'd botched the job, bit the dust. that, or they knew of his betrayal - in which case, ringleader would surely be beyond pissed. might even send someone out to flatline him.

colt got up, putting on his hunting jacket and walking out the door. had he made the right choice, sparing eddie's life and joining up with the lodge? leaving the ring behind? he wasn't exactly sure yet. it felt like the right thing to do; he'd come up that mountain expecting to find some horrible monster to slay at the top. instead, his life had been saved by the man he was supposed to kill. in training, he had been taught to live with one goal, one mission: to get jobs, and complete them. it had seemed so simple at the time. now, everything was so... convoluted. confusing. he had no choice but to take it day by day and live with the consequences of his actions, whatever those ended up being.

the mercenary made his way to the lodge's main entrance - the same one he'd passed out in two weeks prior. clearing his throat, he leaned against the door frame, poised to wait for eddie. he held an apple in one of his gloved hands, absent-mindedly munching on it.


━━━━━━━ THE BOY WHO FELL INTO THE SKY
HAD NO ONE THERE TO WATCH HIM CRY *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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#2
[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]tw. mention of death, suicide, murder

A lot of people wanted to kill him; any Stirling should take great pride in that. Eddie, on the other hand, would only feel honour in dying by his own hand. It wasn't the first time others wished death upon him, but it certainly wouldn't be the last — the only difference this time was that Eddie would grow to trust his killer. No one could win his trust with ease — the world was cold and yet Eddie would run from the little warmth it provided — but sometimes a person would come into his life and remind him of someone in his former life. Colt reminded Eddie of his late brother, Alfie; he was sarcastic and unwavering, incessantly rocking the boat and yet a good person. Eddie missed Alfie every waking breath of the day, yet Colt was something of a reassurance in his grief. 

❝ Right. Ready to go? ❞ Eddie questioned as he wandered out the front door passed Colt, pulling a pair of black leather gloves over cold fingertips before he began to climb down the stairs. Colt was possibly perplexed by Eddie’s inability to provide many details as of yet, but that would be a conversation for on their walk. ❝ So I was thinking of reinforcing the main routes into Flintlock’s territory. I imagine they’ll want to arrive by horseback so placing slanted wooden spikes to prevent any trampling. Then… ❞

Edmund went quiet momentarily, trudging through the heavy snow as he allowed himself time to contemplate his plans, ❝ In the next few days, I want to take a wagon down to the junkyard. Collect some steel sheets to bring back up to form some defence from any bullets coming our way. ❞ If there was any way to keep his people safe, it would be by building defences around them. Hopefully they wouldn't need to put these barriers to good use; Eddie would far prefer to initiate the attack against Bluestem Prairie rather than being caught off guard again by an ambush. He couldn't bear to lose another loved one to those lawless bastards.

For much of the walk thereafter, Eddie chose not to talk. He was barely a team player nowadays, let alone one to initiate small talk to pass the time. Surely Colt would barely mind; from Eddie's own observations, he got the impression that Colt was not much of a team player, either. But, deep in the woods surrounding Flintlock's Lodge, Eddie finally shifted narrow eyes over to glance at Colt. ❝ Why did you come here? ❞ He was blunt as he questioned, gaze flitting over Colt's features briefly before looking ahead of him once more. ❝ To Flintlock? You turned up in pretty bad shape; if I was struggling so much I would have just turned around. ❞ Eddie was fortunate enough to have joined in the spring time when the snow was mostly melted. This time of the year, however, was unsparing; fatal, oftentimes.

Colt was brave to trek up to the lodge in such unforgiving territories, Eddie would think. What he'd fail to contemplate, though, was how Colt did it with the order to kill him.


[align=center]
I'M OUT OF MY MIND, REPLAYING THE SCENE
[sup]AS THESE THOUGHTS START TO ASPHYXIATE ME — NOTES.

[/sup]
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#3
[align=center][div style="width: 370px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 1.4; color: black;"]— as eddie approached, colt stood up straight, offering a subtle nod in greeting. "ready indeed," he would call out in response to the captain's question. he followed close behind, grimacing as the door came open and the freezing winds whipped against his face. he braced his shoulders against the cold, squinting in the light of the sunrise as it reflected off the inches of snow that laid on the ground. it still freaked him out a bit to leave the lodge after he'd spent hours, alone, on the mountainside, slowly freezing. he was slowly getting better about it, though. he drew in a long breath, diverting his attention to eddie, who was saying something.

"...i imagine they’ll want to arrive by horseback so placing slanted wooden spikes to prevent any trampling." colt stepped up to eddie's side, nodding. "sounds like a solid plan. they'll be at a real disadvantage if they get stuck out here without horses." he stuck his hands in his jacket pockets, glancing behind him; the lodge was fading out of view, lost behind the horizon as they traveled further. his heart skipped a beat - this was it. this was the chance that the ringleader was talking about; he'd gotten eddie alone. the man was bigger, sure, but he would have the element of surprise. if he wanted to, he could kill eddie right now, escape down the mountain, and get his money. it would be so easy.

...but he wasn't going to. why? colt wasn't sure, really. something was stopping him. a moral obligation, maybe? he was struggling to bring himself to even consider killing someone who had taken him in, shown him kindness - for absolutely nothing in return. he'd been treated better in his few weeks at the lodge than all of his years with the ring. if eddie had ended up being some huge jerk who shot innocent people for fun, then this job would have been infinitely easier. he cleared his throat. eddie was saying something about going to the junkyard to get supplies. "we could try to get our hands on some barbed wire, too - hide it under the snow," he offered, cracking his neck.

as eddie had hypothesized, colt didn't mind the silent walk deeper into flintlock's territory. he was, in fact, a lone wolf. if anything, he preferred the company of a few close friends - not that he'd ever had any. he was absorbed in his own thoughts, observing the snow-covered forest all around them, when eddie spoke up. he quirked his eyebrows, surprised that the captain was making conversation - and then completely unsure of what to say. why had he come here? a cavernous pit formed in his stomach, his heart hammering. 'shit. what the hell am i supposed to say?! 'oh, i'm here to murder you?'' the mercenary crossed his arms over his chest. "oh, yeah. my trip up here was pretty rough." he was stalling for a bit of time, trying to come up with something. "i had a pretty shitty home life. didn't grow up in a great family. had enough of it one day - learned about this place. i decided it was worth the trip." honestly, most of that was true. sort of. colt mentally applauded himself for keeping his cool. he glanced over at eddie, gauging for a reaction. "what about you? you born here?"


━━━━━━━ THE BOY WHO FELL INTO THE SKY
HAD NO ONE THERE TO WATCH HIM CRY *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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#4
[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]As the pair trekked through the snow, glistening from the sunlight glaring down from above, Eddie listened carefully to Colt’s input. For a youngster (by Eddie’s standards) his knowledge on combat was exceptional. He reminded Eddie of himself in his younger years, guided down a path of stoicism and violence by his own father. Alfred cared more about providing the family business with muscle rather than nurturing each of his children and simply allowing them to be kids. But, Eddie barely had a childhood to miss, and so all he understood was this life of constantly being on edge, preparing for the next strike by his family’s enemies. Did Colt feel the same way? Did he also miss out on a childhood worth living?

❝ Absolutely. ❞ Eddie agreed shortly, adding a quick nod of his head as he continued to walk. Unaware of the danger that lay ahead. Unaware that he was walking right towards death itself. He lowered his head, and continued the trek, oblivious to Colt’s intentions. He was a man who should have died long ago, and so how did he still persist? Continuing to softly suggest ideas, Eddie lifted his head once more to glance at Colt when the younger man proposed the idea of returning with barbed wire. That is a good point. ❞ His voice lightened up for a split second, then advising, ❝ Although we must be sure none of our own people get caught up in that. ❞

He could have remained quiet after this — neither man seemed the type to indulge in small talk — but he’d try for just a moment. Colt had not yet given Eddie reason to be completely shut off; in fact, their similarities made it easier for Eddie to talk. Listening carefully to Colt’s reasoning for trekking up to Flintlock Lodge, Eddie nodded as a sign that he was listening. Eddie’s face fell slightly at the mention of his previous life at home, choosing not to respond directly to Colt’s story for now.

❝ Uh, no, no. This will be my fifth year living here once the snow begins to melt. ❞ He pointed out, deciding that he wouldn’t delve too far into his life. After all, one of the strictest rule in the crime family was to never discuss the family business with outsiders. Colt would never find out the truth as to how Eddie found his way to Flintlock Lodge. ❝ My dad brought me here with his wife and my two half-siblings. We’d decided that it would be the place to go if my family ever got split up. Eventually, some of my family made it, so we’d call it a success. ❞

He cleared his throat with uncertainty as he'd then tread carefully with his next words, ❝ I’m sorry to hear about your family. Flintlock, we- ❞ Movement in his peripheral vision caught Eddie’s attention, the older man quickly shrugging his rifle off his shoulder and cocking the gun as he saw a grizzly bear tearing through the snow towards the duo. Watch out! ❞ He barked, then sending multiple shots towards the bear with his experienced sleight of hand until the creature collapsed to the ground right in front of them lifelessly.

Lips parting, gasping with adrenaline-filled breaths, Eddie gawked at the bear before snapping his jaw shut to glance towards Colt. ❝ Are you all right? ❞ This was quite some reconnaissance, Eddie lowering his rifle before slowly slinging it over his shoulder warily. ❝ We should skin it, collect its meat. It would be a shame to waste resources. ❞


[align=center]
I'M OUT OF MY MIND, REPLAYING THE SCENE
[sup]AS THESE THOUGHTS START TO ASPHYXIATE ME — NOTES.

[/sup]
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#5
[align=center][div style="width: 370px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 1.4; color: black;"]— In all honesty, Colt would not have minded if Eddie had chosen to end the conversation at any point and just continued in silence. Small talk wasn't his forte, after all. Besides, he dreaded any more potential questions about his life; luckily, he'd been quick to think on his feet initially, but he didn't know if he could mask the truth like that so easily a second or third time. Still, despite his normal misgivings about conversation, he... actually liked talking to Eddie. The older man's presence was reassuring - comforting, almost. To Colt, Eddie was like a big, tall tree - or a giant mountain. Unshakeable, unwavering. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the guy had saved his life.

Colt stepped carefully through the snow, his boots sinking down a good six inches with every step. It was surprisingly taxing, but he could manage no problem. "...Eventually, some of my family made it, so we’d call it a success." The boy listened closely to Eddie's words, his brow twitching. His mind flashed back to the vanilla file he'd gotten from Ringmaster with a picture of Eddie's face on the front, containing papers detailing everything that the Ring knew about Edmund Stirling and his little crime family. It hadn't been much information, but it was enough for Colt to know that Eddie wasn't telling him the whole truth about his past. He didn't blame the guy - after all, he was lying about his own life to the entirety of the Lodge. Besides, a criminal history isn't exactly something you can bring up in passing with unfamiliar people.

There was a slight pang in his heart as Eddie uttered an apology about his family. There was a cracking sound in the bushes to his right, distracting him from the captain's words momentarily. As soon as Colt looked over to see what had made the sound, the bear exploded from behind a massive bristle bush, snarling and snapping. Colt's breath hitched in his throat as he stopped in his tracks - they must've accidentally stumbled upon its den and awoken it. "Shit!" the merc hissed through gritted teeth, nearly slipping and falling in his panic. He yanked his twin Akimbo pistols from the holsters on his belt, crouching down and firing dozens of shots at the angry creature. Edmund had gone for the head - Colt shot at the legs and chest, trying to ensure that the bear wouldn't be able to get any closer. Finally, it fell right at their feet, motionless.

Breathing heavily, Colt stood up straight, looking to Eddie. At the older man's question, he nodded, wiping sweat off his brow. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Close call, though, that." He returned his pistols to his belt, crouching down to inspect the dead animal with a frown, nodding. "You're right, we should." He hesitated. "I've never seen a real bear before. Didn't realize they were so huge." He swallowed hard - that would mark the second time that Eddie had helped save his life. The man he was supposed to kill had stood his ground to help him when he could've just ran. Not only that, but he'd asked if Colt was alright afterwards. No one in his life had done that before. "...Y'know, I kinda feel bad for it. It was just trying to survive, live its life," Colt murmured, unsure if he was talking to Eddie or just to himself. His mind was racing.


━━━━━━━ THE BOY WHO FELL INTO THE SKY
HAD NO ONE THERE TO WATCH HIM CRY *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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#6
[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]The situation had unfolded so quickly that Eddie had barely processed it until a couple of seconds later. He’d seen one too many good people die from bear attacks up here in the mountains, a fight between man and beast inevitable in a place where they so often clashed. As Eddie caught his breath, he briefly glanced Colt’s way as Colt processed the moment as well. It could have been a disaster if Colt were to be hurt or killed by a bear; Eddie was really beginning to grow fond of him, even whilst he’d never admit to such a thing. After all, Colt reminded him of a better time in his own life.

Eddie swallowed hard as he listened to Colt contemplate. Whether it was to himself or directed towards Eddie, he was yet to know. Instead, crouched beside the grizzly bear before beginning to try and roll it over onto its back. ❝ A lesson about hunting on these mountains. You want the animal back at the lodge to bleed out by the time the body cools. Doesn’t take long out in these parts. ❞ Revealing a hunting knife, Eddie soon began to gut the creature, eyes cold as if the feeling of steel piercing flesh was all that he knew. ❝ Usually what I like to do is collect the offal first. The dogs love it. ❞ Next, he used his free hand to reveal his handheld transceiver. 

❝ I’m looking to speak to Tommy. ❞ He spoke, the transceiver buzzing harshly for a moment before he heard his older brother over the device. ❝ Yeah, yeah. ❞ ❝ I need your help. Just East of the lodge. By where I wanted them barricades. Bring me one of the horses, a sled and a bucket. ❞ He listened out for his brother’s response, without thinking his lips curling upwards slightly. ❝ Another kill? ❞ ❝ Yeh. A grizzly. ❞ ❝ … Right, I’ll be down in ten. ❞

Slowly, Eddie sat back on his haunches, cleaning the knife off before putting it away. ❝ You wait for rigor mortis to set in before you do a thing, else it’s a dirty, dirty job. ❞ Nostrils flared slightly as he observed the dead creature, silent for a moment before he eventually acknowledged Colt’s earlier comment. ❝ It’s the circle of life around here. You kill, or you are killed. Doesn’t matter what or who it is, sometimes it’s best to put those emotions aside when you work... ❞ Eddie sure had to when he was Colt’s age. The little loss of innocence. He swallowed hard before lifting his head to peer up at Colt, one eye squinting from the sun. ❝ Else life would be unbearable. ❞

He let the words sink in for a moment before standing up and brushing his hands together. ❝ Right, uh… So I asked my brother to come meet us down here to transport the bear back up to the lodge. Sled for the carcass, bucket for the offal. Nothing will be wasted with us. ❞ He explained in a soft spoken mumble, eyes on the bear ahead of him. Opening up was one of the last things he'd ever wish to do. After all, any sign of emotion and vulnerability could be taken advantage of, those words drilled into his head from a young age.


[align=center]
I'M OUT OF MY MIND, REPLAYING THE SCENE
[sup]AS THESE THOUGHTS START TO ASPHYXIATE ME — NOTES.

[/sup]
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#7
[align=center][div style="width: 370px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 1.4; color: black;"]— Colt stood back up, his heartbeat finally starting to slow back down as it set in that the threat was really gone. He watched Eddie draw a knife to gut the beast, unphased by the blood and guts. He nodded along to the older man's explanation of proper hunting technique, though he was struggling to pay attention, his mind still reeling. The guilt felt like a heavy weight, pressing down on his chest, suffocating him. He did his best to steady his breathing as Eddie radioed for Tommy, sitting down on a nearby tree stump.

"You kill, or you are killed." Colt lifted his head as Eddie spoke these words, now acutely aware of what he was saying. Survival of the fittest, abandoning emotions to get the job done - these were concepts that had been drilled into his head by the Ring since infancy. Over and over and over. And yet, when it had come down to it, he couldn't do it. For whatever reason, he could never justify making things so black and white - no matter how much he had been told to do so. When Eddie had taken him in without question after he wound up on Flintlock's doorstep, he couldn't turn a blind eye to that kindness and betray him. He just couldn't.

As Colt's mind raced, he barely noticed that Eddie had switched subjects back to the bear. He swallowed, blinking a few times, trying to dismiss all of his feelings. "Oh... r-right. It's good we can put it to use." He hesitated, wringing his hands together as silence settled briefly over the pair. "Do you ever think that it's better to do the opposite?" he would blurt out before realizing he probably sounded crazy. His face grew warm. "I-I mean, when it comes to 'kill or be killed' jobs. The guy who raised me told me the same thing all the time. Do you ever think there's any situations where it's better to let your emotions decide? I've always wondered that myself." He had to keep his language vague. He absolutely could not give away his secret.


━━━━━━━ THE BOY WHO FELL INTO THE SKY
HAD NO ONE THERE TO WATCH HIM CRY *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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