11-24-2020, 10:21 PM
[align=center][div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 400px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: black"] mickey serge wasn’t used to feeling so unlucky.
his hands rested against the counter as he leaned against it, head hanging low. a slow exhale. skin itching with unease and discomfort. anxious. he would be one of the first to admit that he had lived an easy life for most of his life, well up into his teenage years. nothing in his life had been particularly unfortunate - not until his dad passed away. he still felt the emotional wounds as if they were fresh, could still remember watching his mother fall apart as she told him the news. how tragic was it, that one of the moments mick once considered the worst moment of his life would soon pale in comparison to all the other horrible things he’d seen?
the horrifying truth of how awful the world could be shattered around young mickey, the eye-opening scene unfolding every time he closed his eyes.
ellie. the memory scorched behind his eyelids. what was supposed to be a simple night at ellie’s turned into something far darker, as the sound of breaking glass and hurried feet swarmed the home. pulling ellie and harrison into the closest closet with him felt like a blur. panic had made his heart race away in his chest; he feared even the burglars could hear it. feeling too anxious to so much as breathe in those couple of moments. the sound of ellie’s mom and ellie’s sister… dying, while he remained in the closet. helpless. holding a hand over ellie’s mouth to catch her devastated sobs. just barely able to make harrison out in the darkness as he held his hands close to his chest, tears sliding down his cheeks as he prayed and prayed under his breath.
they barely survived that moment; mick couldn’t help but heavily blame himself that not everyone in that house had been safe. but then again, what was he supposed to do? he was only a med student; he didn’t have the means to protect anyone, let alone protect them from a gang as notorious as the clearwaters. however, he knew someone that could.
the carbines. clear rivals to the clearwater gang that had attacked ellie’s family. there, they offered safety, a promising lifestyle. they offered protection. in a neighborhood that was growing progressively more and more dangerous, it seemed to be the only option they had left. mick’s few belongings were already packed and waiting at the door for him, harrison and ellie outside and waiting to head to their new home. their new life. there would never be that same feeling of helplessness and dread. there, mick wouldn’t ever have to feel that helplessness again.
heavy eyes closed, he listened to the sound of approaching footsteps. then, a hand rested comfortingly on his back. tamara serge didn’t even need to say anything in order to make mickey’s tensed shoulders relax. eyes opened to stare down at the countertop, worrying at his lip. standing in silence, he waited a few more moments before he spoke up, voice soft, “how do i know that i’m making the right choice here, mom?”
tamara paused, a smile slow to come across her lips. in those few moments, she searched for words. “you know,” she started, lips furrowing briefly in thought. “i don’t think it’s always that easy, to say whether the choices you make are right or wrong. but-” her hand rested on mickey’s shoulder as she uttered, “if your heart is in the right place… that’s all that matters.” mickey’s lips twitched into an easy, relieved smile. he straightened, turning to his mother to wrap her in a warm embrace. part of him wished that she would come with them; however, tams had already made her decision quite clear.
“thanks, mom.”
pulling away from the hug, tamara’s eyes were misty. “you better go,” she uttered, gesturing towards the bags. ”they’re waiting on you.” as mick walked to the door, picking up his few belongings, tamara watched him walk out the door. ”don’t forget to visit! i’ll always be here, you know!”
mick flashed her a soft grin. “i know.”
this wasn’t what mickey had wanted for himself.
his breath was ragged as he walked down familiar streets from his childhood, looking at the worn-down houses that used to be so grand. frantic eyes flitted from one place to another, as if anticipating the very worst. he hugged his coat tight around his frame; he kept one hand on his pocketed pistol. mickey hadn’t asked for everything the carbines threw his way. the violence, the war, the bloodshed… everything was starting to unravel. he hadn’t asked for all the responsibilities, and the heavy weight that sat ever-present on his shoulders.
mickey didn’t expect to change so much that not even he recognized himself in the mirror anymore.
what was worse, that he kept it bottled up to himself to protect others? or that he kept these thoughts to himself out of fear that he’d lose the respect and love of everyone around him? as certain as he was that he didn’t deserve the love and adoration, he still held on to it so desperately as if it was all that he had left. and in some ways, perhaps it was. he couldn’t risk telling anyone in fear of losing them. however, he needed to talk to someone. someone that he knew wouldn’t look at him differently. someone that would always be there for him.
pushing open the gate, he walked through his front yard, overgrown and neglected. then once at the door, he raised a clenched hand - paused - then gently knocked. he paused. a few more moments passed. he tried the door again. a few more moments. nothing. he furrowed his brows before he opened the door, slowly peeking his head in. dread and unease sat heavy in his chest; though, at the sight of the home looking unravaged, untouched… he slowly let himself further inside, glancing around the house. dust collected on every surface and untouched countertop. it was incredibly unlike tamara… he squinted thoughtfully.
he had been sure to visit from time to time in the carbines. always telling tamara about all the good news; his new life with ellie and winnie. however, mick never knew what to say when there was only bad news. mick simply stopped coming. regret tinged his heart. perhaps she got worried when he stopped showing up.
all those times, he had been too scared to let her know about the darkness he found. not only in the carbines, but also in himself… though in this moment, where everything that possibly could’ve gone wrong happened, he had a brief moment of clarity. he needed help. he had to tell someone what was going on in order to get the help he needed, though.
he stepped into all the rooms. nothing. he went up a few steps on the staircase. “mom?” he called reluctantly. when nothing came, he proceeded up the stairs. he walked through the entire house at least once or twice. then, as he stepped into her room, only then did it hit him that his mother was gone. she was gone.
lips pursed tightly into a thin line, lip quivering feebly as he backed out of the room. hands clenched into fists; clenching then relaxing, clenching then relaxing. why now? he turned to head down the stairs. why did she leave now, when mickey needed her? he looked ready to storm out of the house entirely. how come people left his life when he needed them the most?
quickly stepping down the stairs, he took only a brief glance around as he tried to regain himself. blinking watery eyes, he turned his head towards the kitchen one last time. and he didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before, but on the counter sat a note. he hesitated before he stepped towards it, slowly grasping it in his hand.
a short note. mickey. i left this note to let you know that i left on my own accord. i didn’t want you to worry. love, mom. he stared at the note, only to crumple it up and drop it back on the counter again.
this had to be a sign, mickey figured, as he made his way out the front door. this had to be a sign that he was wrong to try and come to her for help; to even ask for help at all. stoic features hid the absolute turmoil underneath while he headed back towards the carbines. he was better off suffering through this alone; at this point he deserved it.
besides, he thought bitterly, who would want to help such a monster anyway?
if only mickey had had just the briefest idea what his life would look like after the carbines. perhaps then he wouldn’t have been so hard on himself.
lips fought back a rare smile as he watched green and arlo standing next to the fountain, green handing a penny to the young boy. “they say,” he started, fishing out a coin for himself. “that if you throw a coin into the fountain and make a wish, then it will come true. you want to try?” the two threw their coins in. green turned to arlo, asking with an easy smile, “and what did you wish for?”
“well-”
“trick question! you can’t tell someone what you wished for! else it won’t come true-”
mick couldn’t help but shake his head fondly from where he stood, hands in his pockets. he turned his head to absently gaze at the busy crowd of passerby. some watched green and arlo with fond eyes as they hurried by. another woman, on the other hand… he paused at the sight of an older woman as she slowed to a stop nearby, staring at him with lips gently parted in shock. the relaxed look on his features gave way to the usual stoicism; the wall he was so used to putting up around others he didn’t particularly know. unease. paranoia and fearing the worst. she took a step forward, brushing her dark hair behind her ear. her voice sounded wet and near tears as she rasped, “mickey? is that you?”
it was his turn to look surprised. brows subtly raised, and his heart racing away in his chest. all these years… the years felt like decades without her. he could hardly even remember what she looked like in his memories, anymore. yet there she was, standing right in front of him, surprised lips pulling into a big, wide and awed smile. mick didn’t need to say anything; she already knew.
“mom?”
she made her way closer before the word had made its way out of his mouth, enveloping him in a tight embrace. mick stood briefly in surprise, slow to put his arms around her. his grip was tight as his lips started to tug into a disbelieving smile. “oh my god,” his mom shakily uttered, shaking her head as she rested her chin briefly against his shoulder. “i thought that you were dead.. last i heard, the clearwaters said they got you and ellie-” she pulled away, gripping his arms as she realized. “ellie. where is she? is she-?”
“no,” he quickly reassured. “she’s just fine. we-” it was hard enough back then to think about telling his mom everything. somehow it was harder now that the wounds were closed up and healed. he turned his gaze away, nose scrunching up just slightly as he dismissively said, “broke up a few years ago.”
tamara’s brows furrowed in confusion. his mom had always been so sure that they were meant for each other; she always loved ellie so dearly. however, at the dismissive way mick brushed off the subject, she moved on. “and how did you end up here?”
“it’s a long story.” pause. ”i could ask you the same thing. where did you go?”
she huffed shortly, finally letting go of him as she remarked, “i could tell you the same thing. but. to keep a long story short…” she sighed, turning to look out at the ocean. “i decided that i couldn’t let brock and his friends get away with what they did. i’ve been looking for them for quite some time. and now, brock.. i finally found him..” she turned her head to look at her son, lips twitching happily. “i can finally give your dad justice.”
mick paused for a moment. blinking at the sea. the memories of tumbling through flintlock’s freezing snow, blood staining their path as they fought.. he appeared reluctant before he eventually uttered, “i don’t think that’s the right thing to do.”
“what? what do you-?”
she stopped talking as green and arlo approached, deciding on biting her tongue. mick tried not to look as uncomfortable in his skin as he felt. she looked at him with eyes expecting a later conversation. this wasn’t how he envisioned their reunion going. then again, the brain always tended to envision things as being perfect and neat when they were far from it. still, he couldn’t deny how happy he was to be reunited with her again.
he gestured towards his mother. ”green. this is my mom, tamara.” he never thought that they’d get to meet. in some ways this was a dream come true. in other ways, there was a certain anxious race to his heart as he introduced, “mom, this is green.” her eyes silently prodded for more information before a beat later he informed, “my boyfriend.” although she was shocked, she was still quick to step forward and shake green’s hand, a grin making its way to her lips.
“it’s nice to meet you, green.” mick’s shoulders relaxed. “oh my, you’re handsome-” he sighed, looking far softer as she introduced herself to arlo and green both and chattered kindly on. then, she turned to mick again. she looked so happy and proud.
“i think we have some catching up to do.”
mick’s lips twitched. “yeah,” he agreed, head tilting back ever so slightly. “i think we do.”
this is so bad but it's just a quick drabble
mickey's mom is back in the picture ! !
i'll have an intro thread up for her before the end of break !
if you actually read this thread tysm
his hands rested against the counter as he leaned against it, head hanging low. a slow exhale. skin itching with unease and discomfort. anxious. he would be one of the first to admit that he had lived an easy life for most of his life, well up into his teenage years. nothing in his life had been particularly unfortunate - not until his dad passed away. he still felt the emotional wounds as if they were fresh, could still remember watching his mother fall apart as she told him the news. how tragic was it, that one of the moments mick once considered the worst moment of his life would soon pale in comparison to all the other horrible things he’d seen?
the horrifying truth of how awful the world could be shattered around young mickey, the eye-opening scene unfolding every time he closed his eyes.
ellie. the memory scorched behind his eyelids. what was supposed to be a simple night at ellie’s turned into something far darker, as the sound of breaking glass and hurried feet swarmed the home. pulling ellie and harrison into the closest closet with him felt like a blur. panic had made his heart race away in his chest; he feared even the burglars could hear it. feeling too anxious to so much as breathe in those couple of moments. the sound of ellie’s mom and ellie’s sister… dying, while he remained in the closet. helpless. holding a hand over ellie’s mouth to catch her devastated sobs. just barely able to make harrison out in the darkness as he held his hands close to his chest, tears sliding down his cheeks as he prayed and prayed under his breath.
they barely survived that moment; mick couldn’t help but heavily blame himself that not everyone in that house had been safe. but then again, what was he supposed to do? he was only a med student; he didn’t have the means to protect anyone, let alone protect them from a gang as notorious as the clearwaters. however, he knew someone that could.
the carbines. clear rivals to the clearwater gang that had attacked ellie’s family. there, they offered safety, a promising lifestyle. they offered protection. in a neighborhood that was growing progressively more and more dangerous, it seemed to be the only option they had left. mick’s few belongings were already packed and waiting at the door for him, harrison and ellie outside and waiting to head to their new home. their new life. there would never be that same feeling of helplessness and dread. there, mick wouldn’t ever have to feel that helplessness again.
heavy eyes closed, he listened to the sound of approaching footsteps. then, a hand rested comfortingly on his back. tamara serge didn’t even need to say anything in order to make mickey’s tensed shoulders relax. eyes opened to stare down at the countertop, worrying at his lip. standing in silence, he waited a few more moments before he spoke up, voice soft, “how do i know that i’m making the right choice here, mom?”
tamara paused, a smile slow to come across her lips. in those few moments, she searched for words. “you know,” she started, lips furrowing briefly in thought. “i don’t think it’s always that easy, to say whether the choices you make are right or wrong. but-” her hand rested on mickey’s shoulder as she uttered, “if your heart is in the right place… that’s all that matters.” mickey’s lips twitched into an easy, relieved smile. he straightened, turning to his mother to wrap her in a warm embrace. part of him wished that she would come with them; however, tams had already made her decision quite clear.
“thanks, mom.”
pulling away from the hug, tamara’s eyes were misty. “you better go,” she uttered, gesturing towards the bags. ”they’re waiting on you.” as mick walked to the door, picking up his few belongings, tamara watched him walk out the door. ”don’t forget to visit! i’ll always be here, you know!”
mick flashed her a soft grin. “i know.”
this wasn’t what mickey had wanted for himself.
his breath was ragged as he walked down familiar streets from his childhood, looking at the worn-down houses that used to be so grand. frantic eyes flitted from one place to another, as if anticipating the very worst. he hugged his coat tight around his frame; he kept one hand on his pocketed pistol. mickey hadn’t asked for everything the carbines threw his way. the violence, the war, the bloodshed… everything was starting to unravel. he hadn’t asked for all the responsibilities, and the heavy weight that sat ever-present on his shoulders.
mickey didn’t expect to change so much that not even he recognized himself in the mirror anymore.
what was worse, that he kept it bottled up to himself to protect others? or that he kept these thoughts to himself out of fear that he’d lose the respect and love of everyone around him? as certain as he was that he didn’t deserve the love and adoration, he still held on to it so desperately as if it was all that he had left. and in some ways, perhaps it was. he couldn’t risk telling anyone in fear of losing them. however, he needed to talk to someone. someone that he knew wouldn’t look at him differently. someone that would always be there for him.
pushing open the gate, he walked through his front yard, overgrown and neglected. then once at the door, he raised a clenched hand - paused - then gently knocked. he paused. a few more moments passed. he tried the door again. a few more moments. nothing. he furrowed his brows before he opened the door, slowly peeking his head in. dread and unease sat heavy in his chest; though, at the sight of the home looking unravaged, untouched… he slowly let himself further inside, glancing around the house. dust collected on every surface and untouched countertop. it was incredibly unlike tamara… he squinted thoughtfully.
he had been sure to visit from time to time in the carbines. always telling tamara about all the good news; his new life with ellie and winnie. however, mick never knew what to say when there was only bad news. mick simply stopped coming. regret tinged his heart. perhaps she got worried when he stopped showing up.
all those times, he had been too scared to let her know about the darkness he found. not only in the carbines, but also in himself… though in this moment, where everything that possibly could’ve gone wrong happened, he had a brief moment of clarity. he needed help. he had to tell someone what was going on in order to get the help he needed, though.
he stepped into all the rooms. nothing. he went up a few steps on the staircase. “mom?” he called reluctantly. when nothing came, he proceeded up the stairs. he walked through the entire house at least once or twice. then, as he stepped into her room, only then did it hit him that his mother was gone. she was gone.
lips pursed tightly into a thin line, lip quivering feebly as he backed out of the room. hands clenched into fists; clenching then relaxing, clenching then relaxing. why now? he turned to head down the stairs. why did she leave now, when mickey needed her? he looked ready to storm out of the house entirely. how come people left his life when he needed them the most?
quickly stepping down the stairs, he took only a brief glance around as he tried to regain himself. blinking watery eyes, he turned his head towards the kitchen one last time. and he didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before, but on the counter sat a note. he hesitated before he stepped towards it, slowly grasping it in his hand.
a short note. mickey. i left this note to let you know that i left on my own accord. i didn’t want you to worry. love, mom. he stared at the note, only to crumple it up and drop it back on the counter again.
this had to be a sign, mickey figured, as he made his way out the front door. this had to be a sign that he was wrong to try and come to her for help; to even ask for help at all. stoic features hid the absolute turmoil underneath while he headed back towards the carbines. he was better off suffering through this alone; at this point he deserved it.
besides, he thought bitterly, who would want to help such a monster anyway?
if only mickey had had just the briefest idea what his life would look like after the carbines. perhaps then he wouldn’t have been so hard on himself.
lips fought back a rare smile as he watched green and arlo standing next to the fountain, green handing a penny to the young boy. “they say,” he started, fishing out a coin for himself. “that if you throw a coin into the fountain and make a wish, then it will come true. you want to try?” the two threw their coins in. green turned to arlo, asking with an easy smile, “and what did you wish for?”
“well-”
“trick question! you can’t tell someone what you wished for! else it won’t come true-”
mick couldn’t help but shake his head fondly from where he stood, hands in his pockets. he turned his head to absently gaze at the busy crowd of passerby. some watched green and arlo with fond eyes as they hurried by. another woman, on the other hand… he paused at the sight of an older woman as she slowed to a stop nearby, staring at him with lips gently parted in shock. the relaxed look on his features gave way to the usual stoicism; the wall he was so used to putting up around others he didn’t particularly know. unease. paranoia and fearing the worst. she took a step forward, brushing her dark hair behind her ear. her voice sounded wet and near tears as she rasped, “mickey? is that you?”
it was his turn to look surprised. brows subtly raised, and his heart racing away in his chest. all these years… the years felt like decades without her. he could hardly even remember what she looked like in his memories, anymore. yet there she was, standing right in front of him, surprised lips pulling into a big, wide and awed smile. mick didn’t need to say anything; she already knew.
“mom?”
she made her way closer before the word had made its way out of his mouth, enveloping him in a tight embrace. mick stood briefly in surprise, slow to put his arms around her. his grip was tight as his lips started to tug into a disbelieving smile. “oh my god,” his mom shakily uttered, shaking her head as she rested her chin briefly against his shoulder. “i thought that you were dead.. last i heard, the clearwaters said they got you and ellie-” she pulled away, gripping his arms as she realized. “ellie. where is she? is she-?”
“no,” he quickly reassured. “she’s just fine. we-” it was hard enough back then to think about telling his mom everything. somehow it was harder now that the wounds were closed up and healed. he turned his gaze away, nose scrunching up just slightly as he dismissively said, “broke up a few years ago.”
tamara’s brows furrowed in confusion. his mom had always been so sure that they were meant for each other; she always loved ellie so dearly. however, at the dismissive way mick brushed off the subject, she moved on. “and how did you end up here?”
“it’s a long story.” pause. ”i could ask you the same thing. where did you go?”
she huffed shortly, finally letting go of him as she remarked, “i could tell you the same thing. but. to keep a long story short…” she sighed, turning to look out at the ocean. “i decided that i couldn’t let brock and his friends get away with what they did. i’ve been looking for them for quite some time. and now, brock.. i finally found him..” she turned her head to look at her son, lips twitching happily. “i can finally give your dad justice.”
mick paused for a moment. blinking at the sea. the memories of tumbling through flintlock’s freezing snow, blood staining their path as they fought.. he appeared reluctant before he eventually uttered, “i don’t think that’s the right thing to do.”
“what? what do you-?”
she stopped talking as green and arlo approached, deciding on biting her tongue. mick tried not to look as uncomfortable in his skin as he felt. she looked at him with eyes expecting a later conversation. this wasn’t how he envisioned their reunion going. then again, the brain always tended to envision things as being perfect and neat when they were far from it. still, he couldn’t deny how happy he was to be reunited with her again.
he gestured towards his mother. ”green. this is my mom, tamara.” he never thought that they’d get to meet. in some ways this was a dream come true. in other ways, there was a certain anxious race to his heart as he introduced, “mom, this is green.” her eyes silently prodded for more information before a beat later he informed, “my boyfriend.” although she was shocked, she was still quick to step forward and shake green’s hand, a grin making its way to her lips.
“it’s nice to meet you, green.” mick’s shoulders relaxed. “oh my, you’re handsome-” he sighed, looking far softer as she introduced herself to arlo and green both and chattered kindly on. then, she turned to mick again. she looked so happy and proud.
“i think we have some catching up to do.”
mick’s lips twitched. “yeah,” he agreed, head tilting back ever so slightly. “i think we do.”
this is so bad but it's just a quick drabble
mickey's mom is back in the picture ! !
i'll have an intro thread up for her before the end of break !
if you actually read this thread tysm