you really want to know? | opinions

[MICHAEL.]

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[div style="borderwidth; width: 400px; padding: 1px; text-align: justify; color: #4B3E2D; line-height: 14px; font-size: 11pt; font-family:timesnewroman"]"speech" 'thought' text
tw: mentions alcohol, blood, profanity, violence, religion, suicidal thoughts, COMPLETELY 100% IC OPINIONS

ADDY — Mike frowned slightly, shifting in his seat, the pencil he was using to write gripped between his teeth. What to say about Addy? There was a lot, though most of it wasn't all that positive, though, right now, Mike didn't have anything positive to say, well almost anything at least. "Addy, what to say about the annoying bastard? Well, first off, I guess, I call him 'Red" partially because of his hair color, and partially because he just seems a bit like a Red to me."

Mike glowered at the paper, contemplating scribbling it out, it didn't seem like a good idea to write anything down, though he fully intended to burn what he was writing after he finished, if only to get them the fuck out of his head. "Half the time I want to punch him in the face, and the other half of the time I just want to dunk him in the ocean. He's a bit too confident in his abilities really, I know that I have limitations, but I can see the faults in his technique, I don't really feel like pointing it out to him though, why be helpful? Nobody gives a shit about what I think anymore anyways." His face contorted into an ugly frown, and he drew a line through the last sentence.

Mike continued writing, "He's got a lot to learn, and I think that if he learns it correctly he'd be a lot less annoying to me, the thing I hate more than assholes, are assholes who do shit wrong."

o4/o1

ANGEL — Eyebrows raised as he wrote in his journal, the pages stained and a bit water damaged, but still usable. "What to say about the girl? She seems like... an interesting person, though I'm not really sure how the hell I really feel about her." Mike frowned slightly, his pencil hovering over the sentence as he debated whether or not to cross it out. "She seems to be infatuated with Cat, which is nauseating. It's one thing to look up to the bastard, but to essentially worship him?"

Mike rolled his eyes, and started on a new paragraph. "Other than that she seems decent, don't really have a nickname for her... it'll come eventually they all do. Honestly, I feel like in another life, we might have gotten along, but in this life, well everything is fucked. This world is fucked. And nothing aint going to change that." Mike glowered at his writing, unsure of how to end his thoughts.

"She broke a fucking window, glass is pretty hard to come by, why couldn't she have just picked the lock? Whatever, it's not my problem. I'll probably be seeing more of her around in the future, though that's kind of a terrifying thought."

o4/o1

CATALYST — Michael's face darkened, and his brows furrowed. "Don't get me started on this character, they're... they're a lot to deal with. Honestly, I used to have a lot more respect for them, though I might not have always agreed with the way they dealt with things, they were consistent. But I don't respect them that much anymore." Mike tilted his head to the side, sliding the pencil across the newly written words. "at all anymore."

That reflected his feelings much more than just "that much". He took a deep breath and continued with his writing. "As much as I'm still loyal to the bastard, and to the group, I don't trust anything that Cat says or does. I can't expect them to be a person of their word, which means anything they say I just assume they'll stab me in the back." Was it cynical? No, not really, not to Mike.

"I used to call them Boss used to show them the respect that I thought they deserved, but now, I don't feel like I should, they don't deserve that level of respect, or deference. After the underhanded, idiotic, badly planned, possibly psychotic plan that they hatched with Creed, sometimes I feel as though I should just up and leave... but I can't, for a lot of reasons."

o4/o1

CREED — Mike fiddled with the pencil between his fingers, hesitating, his brows furrowed, it was hard to talk about this, well, write about this. "Is it possible to just skip this entry? It feels nearly too impossible to really write down everything that goes through my mind at her name. I suppose I should give it a shot though." He sighed, and tapped his fingers on the pages for a few seconds before he continued.

"The first feeling that comes to my mind at her name is regret, followed quickly by a deep set hatred of myself for everything I've done to her and her family." Mike frowned as he looked at the paper, his expression very close to that of one about to cry. "I made a promise to her father to look out for her and her brother... I've already failed him so much, I'm the reason he's dead, I'm the reason his children's lives are fucked up."

Mike swallowed back the wave of emotions that wanted to push forward. "I don't blame her for any hatred she has for me. Nothing she says or thinks about me can rival what I say to myself every fucking day. But it still hurts that I did that to her, that I essentially ruined her life. One day... one day I hope to make amends with her, though I don't expect her to ever forgive me."

Mike felt his hand shake a bit as he continued to write. "I just wish I'd been a better godfather to her, I wish that I'd cut off my own damn hand instead of killing Will, I wish that I'd succeeded in helping her mother and family escape... I wish I hadn't been forced to chose between one of them to kill... there's a lot of things I wish could go differently, but there isn't anything I can do about that now." The man took a shaky breath, and gripped the pencil tightly in his hand.

"One day, perhaps, she will understand that all I've ever done in her life has been for her and Jon, but I doubt it, and I have made peace with that. I will continue to do my best to watch out for her, though I've failed so far... I cannot give up... what else do I have to live for?" The man took a shaky breath, put the pencil down hard on the table, and shut the book.

o4/o2

ELLIS — With a bit of a sour look, Mike took up his pencil, glaring at the page in front of him. "The fuck do I say about Ellis? Barely know the kid, barely met the kid, don't really have much of an opinion on him, 'kept that... I guess he seems like a..." Mike paused and scrathched his head with the back of the pencil, what did Ellis seem like? "Honestly I don't got a clue, maybe if I get to know the kid better, though that doesn't seem like an entirely good idea... I don't have the best track record with kids."

o4/o8


GABRIEL —


GAVRIL —


HOPE —


JACK —


KATE —


LUCERENE —


MO —


MOLLY —


MORDECI — What to say about Mord? There was a lot, most of it negative.


PAIGE —


WILL — He honestly had no clue how to react to the news about Will, the fact that his son was alive, the fact that he had been alive all this time, that Mike hadn't been here for him. It was difficult to think about, maybe writing about it would help... or maybe it wouldn't.

[dame]

track if that's ok ?

[vix]

track if that's ok ?

[Alexander Crane]

Track

[finny.]

[quote author=Bryne link=topic=21019.msg479639#msg479639 date=1554183451]
track if that's ok ?

[/quote]

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