stargazer ― open

[mickey]

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— ”i’m sorry.” the words ricocheted through his head, remembering the surprise he had felt when hearing vernon’s quiet utter. two simple words, spoken so quietly, and yet they carried the weight of the world once spoken. who wouldn’t be taken aback to hear those words from green, especially after he had done nothing wrong? though the more he thought about the conversation, about the other man admitting why he carried such guilt on his shoulders… that he blamed himself in a way for tamara dying the way she did. the district hadn’t had the resources to keep her around longer, and that that had been green’s fault?

he felt blinded to the grief that vernon experienced. he had been so focused on his own grief, the own weight that he carried, that he hadn’t taken notice of the way that vern suffered for multiple reasons. the revelation that green had been carrying this self-doubt, that self-blame on his shoulders all alone, unable to speak about it for so long... it was crushing to think that he ever had to experience such emotional turmoil on his own, after mickey promised himself he’d never let the man suffer alone. not after all he had endured by himself.

after all the times green dragged mickey out of the house, perhaps it was time that mickey returned the favor.

he couldn’t remember the last time his chest felt so light than when he had taken green’s hand and pulled him towards the private beach. bending down to pick up one of the blankets he’d brought along, he gazed at green’s silhouette against the moonlight. a soft smile threatened to form; the most he must’ve smiled in weeks.

stepping closer, he lifted the blanket in his arms and draped it over the other man’s shoulders. “it gets cold out here, yeah?” hands lingering on the man’s shoulders, he waited before he stepped to stand at his side. bringing his gaze up towards the dark night sky, he glanced around absently. “there.” pointing a finger up towards the sky, he pointed out the three stars. “found orion’s belt before you could.” one of green’s favorites, he remembered from their first date. looking throughout the sky, he hummed thoughtfully. “what other constellations are there?” he could hear the other man gush about them for hours.

[spoiler=tags ― updated 02/25.][size=8pt]◜BASICS ┊ BURIED MY HEART IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND ◞
‣  ❝ mickey serge ❞ | mick, serge | male [he/him] .
‣ 33 years old . | may fifth; taurus.
‣  currently the prodigy of northstar district
‣  currently co-founder/co-head of st. peter’s clinic in the district alongside lucerne nouvel.

◜PERSONALITY: ISFJ ┊ THERE WAS NO ONE AROUND ◞
‣  aloof . ambitious . blunt . distant . driven . hard-working . passionate . humble . reserved . introverted . intelligent . level-headed . trustworthy . honest . caring . quiet . gentlemanly . kind . pessimistic . unreadable . stoic . withdrawn .
↳ lover of tea and cigarettes
↳ struggles with ptsd symptoms
↳ recovering alcoholic (over a year sober)
↳ currently showing signs/symptoms of depression following his mother's death

◜ APPEARANCE ┊ BURIED MY GUILT IN A PIT IN THE SOUND ◞
‣ six foot one & one hundred and sixty seven pounds ; reference .
↳ dark brown hair kept very short on the sides and neat
↳ skinny with slight muscle tone
↳ deep blue eyes , often stoic , emotionless

◜ FAMILY ┊ I TRIED AND I TRIED AND I WAS NEVER THE SAME ◞
‣  david serge x tamara serge | father deceased . mother recently deceased
‣ only child
‣ currently claims guardianship of arlo - doesn’t consider himself arlo’s parent

◜ RELATIONSHIPS ┊ I'LL BREAK UP THE CHAIN ◞
‣  homosexual ; monogamous | a hopeless romantic .
‣ ex-fiance to elinor rose
↳ engagement fell apart after coming to terms with mick’s sexuality .
‣  ex-lover to edmund stirling-moray
↳ the first guy he had ever been with . helped him become comfortable with his sexuality before coming out of the closet.
‣ current boyfriend of vernon green
↳ currently live together . inseparable .

◜ INTERACTIONS ┊ I'M FOREVER CHANGED ◞
‣  [ 9/10 ] physically  |  [ 8/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ very difficult ] | difficulty w/ melees [ difficult ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ difficult ]
‣ [member=1512]elysian.[/member] | dm for any major plots .
‣  friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .[/size][/spoiler]

[GREENIE.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]Sorry. A word that so often passed Greenie’s lips, often without second thought. Sorry, as if his mere presence alone was an inconvenience. Sorry, as if that optimistic enthusiasm was grating to most others. Sorry, as if he were the one to always take the blame to protect the rest. But, the hardest apology he would make was that he was sorry that he couldn’t do enough to save Tamara’s life. Despite how desperately Greenie searched high and low throughout the loner lands for any sort of medical supplies that could save her life, all attempts had been in vain.

He could have done more, Green would insist to himself. Would Mickey despise Green for contributing to his mother’s death?

Once Green held out his apology, something in Mick seemed to change. Not a bitterness, not a disappointment, but a feeling of care perhaps as he explained that nothing that Green could have done would have saved Tamara. Mick could try to insist — Green could even nod his head along with the justification — but a part of him would always consider those dangerous ❛ what ifs ❜. What if he bent over backwards for supplies, ticking off every option that he had? Would that have saved her?

Just after sunset, when many would begin to wander back home after a long day, Green and Mick stepped out onto the more secluded beach, a short distance away from the main beach. Almost a perfect recreation of their very first date, Green’s lips twitched into a small, toothy grin as he leaned closer against Mick as they walked hand in hand. ❝ You did this for me? ❞ He questioned with disbelief, glancing up towards Mick before he huffed, squeezing his hand gently, ❝ You really didn’t have to, y’know? ❞ 

As they slowed to a stop, Green rolled his eyes with a smile as Mick carefully draped a blanket over his shoulders. ❝ I never get cold. ❞ Green chose to protest playfully, a running joke that Green never was the type to enjoy warmer clothing. Despite this, he still pulled the blanket tighter to envelope himself in the warmth. Soon, he tipped his head back and there it was: a crystal clear sky with stars twinkling above head. ❝ Found Orion’s belt before you could. ❞ Green glanced over towards Mickey out the corner of his eye, then pointing out, ❝ You remembered. ❞

At Mick’s question, Green hummed slowly as he narrowed his eyes, focussing on the night sky for a couple of long seconds before he squirmed slightly, hand raising to jab a finger towards the sky. ❝ There. You see the… almost upside down V shape there? That whole thing plus the line travelling down the centre is Aquila! ❞ Definitely pronouncing Aquila more like tequila, Green pulled his head back with joy before looking at Mick again, ❝ You see it?! ❞ 

[mickey]

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— green insisted that mick didn’t have to go through all it took to make this moment happen. mick’s gaze lingered on the other man’s own, gently squeezing his hand in reply before stepping closer towards the secluded beach. “i think i did.” the short response spoke volumes. after all, how long had it been since green had been put first? the man was often busy looking after others, that it seemed as though others weren’t nearly as quick to come to his aid; they must’ve always figured that green’s positivity was ever-present, even throughout his own troubles. it was a mask that even mickey occasionally struggled to see through on certain days.

besides, he didn’t necessarily feel the need to step out of his way; he wanted to. it was about time that vernon green started to feel more appreciated. it was about time that vern finally had a chance to slowly shrug off the weight of the stress and grief that blanketed his shoulders, even if only for a few delicate moments. mick replaced the weight of it all with a light blanket around green’s shoulders, despite the man’s playful protests. he tried not to roll his eyes. the man could be standing in several feet of snow and still try and insist he wasn’t cold. how endearing and frustrating it was to find someone whose stubbornness almost matched his own.

looking up at the starlit sky, everything felt lighter. the air, the grief that held him down. everything. he dared not say it, in fear that speaking it aloud would only cause it to end. instead, he looked almost proud as he found orion’s belt, his pointed finger lingering before slowly lowering down to his side. “well. it’s the only constellation i really know, so.” he sounded dismissive as he looked around the night sky in search for more possible constellations. that was one of the best parts about knowing green; although not formally educated, the amount of facts and little bits of information he could surprise mick with were astounding. no one could ever guess what green was about to say next.

following green’s outstretched hand, brows furrowed while he tried to make out the constellation that green described. it took a few seconds before he said uncertainly, “i think so.” he wasn’t so sure about that; he doubted that he did a great job at convincing green of it, either. shoulders shrugging briefly, he shook his head to himself. “i need to get a picture book of all the constellations for us to look through. it would make it easier to know what i’m supposed to be looking at.” guess that wouldn’t be too bad of an idea.

clearing his throat, he looked down towards the sand, gently scuffing up a bit of sand with the front of his shoe as he murmured, “i figured you could use a night like this. deserved it, even.” while it was evident that mickey was going through a lot, green had also lost a lot at that same time; he didn’t deserve to get forgotten about, as he so often did.

[spoiler=tags ― updated 02/25.][size=8pt]◜BASICS ┊ BURIED MY HEART IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND ◞
‣  ❝ mickey serge ❞ | mick, serge | male [he/him] .
‣ 33 years old . | may fifth; taurus.
‣  currently the prodigy of northstar district
‣  currently co-founder/co-head of st. peter’s clinic in the district alongside lucerne nouvel.

◜PERSONALITY: ISFJ ┊ THERE WAS NO ONE AROUND ◞
‣  aloof . ambitious . blunt . distant . driven . hard-working . passionate . humble . reserved . introverted . intelligent . level-headed . trustworthy . honest . caring . quiet . gentlemanly . kind . pessimistic . unreadable . stoic . withdrawn .
↳ lover of tea and cigarettes
↳ struggles with ptsd symptoms
↳ recovering alcoholic (over a year sober)
↳ currently showing signs/symptoms of depression following his mother's death

◜ APPEARANCE ┊ BURIED MY GUILT IN A PIT IN THE SOUND ◞
‣ six foot one & one hundred and sixty seven pounds ; reference .
↳ dark brown hair kept very short on the sides and neat
↳ skinny with slight muscle tone
↳ deep blue eyes , often stoic , emotionless

◜ FAMILY ┊ I TRIED AND I TRIED AND I WAS NEVER THE SAME ◞
‣  david serge x tamara serge | father deceased . mother recently deceased
‣ only child
‣ currently claims guardianship of arlo - doesn’t consider himself arlo’s parent

◜ RELATIONSHIPS ┊ I'LL BREAK UP THE CHAIN ◞
‣  homosexual ; monogamous | a hopeless romantic .
‣ ex-fiance to elinor rose
↳ engagement fell apart after coming to terms with mick’s sexuality .
‣  ex-lover to edmund stirling-moray
↳ the first guy he had ever been with . helped him become comfortable with his sexuality before coming out of the closet.
‣ current boyfriend of vernon green
↳ currently live together . inseparable .

◜ INTERACTIONS ┊ I'M FOREVER CHANGED ◞
‣  [ 9/10 ] physically  |  [ 8/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ very difficult ] | difficulty w/ melees [ difficult ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ difficult ]
‣ [member=1512]elysian.[/member] | dm for any major plots .
‣  friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .[/size][/spoiler]