therefore i am. open, intro.

[OLLIE.]

[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; line-height: 150%; color: #494949; font-family: karla; font-size: 9pt; letter-spacing: 0.2px; word-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px;"]tw; mention of abuse, alcohol, death.

janelle martinez always attracted chaos.

it starts as young as her childhood; a father, so otherwise in endearing to his community and those around him, traumatizing his young daughter with the bruises he left riddled on her mother. not as if she was any better. her mom is a slut. she brings men in and out of the house instead of caring for her only child, some who exhibited questionable behavior as janelle transitions into puberty. she was a pretty girl, sure, and she knew that. by fifteen years old, janelle is hanging with people twice her age, getting comfortable with a man by the name of jamison who serves as the father figure she lacked. even his crime-infused ways didn't turn her away. in fact, she embraced it more.

maybe that's what it was so easy to fall for julian. he was a powerful figure. ruthless. but around her, at least sometimes, he softened. as their relationship progressed, however, so did the morality of what made their relationship them. janelle saw herself dig herself in a hole too similar to her mother's until she was running with him%u2014 at the time, it was nice. and to her, every relationship had his shitty moments. despite his faults, she had plenty more. she wanted to believe they'd work it out somehow. julian was her first love. she couldn't see a world without him.

that is, until she had no other choice but to.

it's been only a month, and her pain still reigns. she gets to be her own woman without living in julian's shadow, and she doesn't have to walk on egg shells in fear that she might somehow fuck up. upset him. she doesn't have to live in her own insecurities in fear he might leave her one day. but still. if she imagined him dying, she'd imagine she'd go with him. some fucked up bonnie & clyde scenario where they go down together, psychotic and in love. not with her shoving the knife in his abdomen, with her choking tears as he died in her arms.

she wears a tight dress that hugs her body tight, but her body's burning from the vodka she consumes. the casino is lively tonight, an easy distraction from all of the thoughts that plague her. "havana, looking beautiful tonight." some man says, sending her a wink, which she does not return kindly. men here label her as havana, a name she formerly took as a dancer at jamison's bar. teddy knew that. she supposes its how it got around. "the least you can do is smile." she does, but not without lifting her middle finger up in the process. lifting herself up from the barstool, she stumbles on over to the clearing of the dance floor, letting herself get lost within the music.

[TEDDY.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]Theodore Knope was, without a doubt, chaos wrapped up in a pretty little package.

Perhaps it was his unwavering ambition, the will to do whatever it took to get his way. Even if he had to rock the boat or serve the well heeled obsequiously, he’d do anything to climb that ladder of success. It’d started when he was still a boy when he lived on Guérin Street. That street was the very street most locals would stay clear from. Renowned for its low socioeconomic status, any boy who’d grown up on Guérin Street knew that the street’s legacy would live with them forever. The Knope family barely made ends meet. Teddy could remember that most Thanksgiving festivities, the family could barely lay food out on the table. Instead, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents all piled into the house so that they could share what little they had to offer.

Out of desperation, his family eventually turned to a life of crime. Eventually, Teddy’s life slowly changed in front of his eyes. Instead of playing out on the street, his mother urged him to stay inside — it wasn’t safe for a young Knope to be wandering the streets anymore. He had to be vigilant, unable to go and open the door in case it was somebody involved in his papa’s dodgy dealings. The years passed by, and this life of crime had since become his norm. Once a life of slowly lumbering on by, the Knope family had now raised the stakes. Life was becoming dangerous for Teddy, but the success was so, so sweet.

He could remember being gifted his very first bicycle at the age of ten. Finally, after all the years of receiving nothing but necessities, it felt fantastic to get to own something that he didn’t need. In fact, the material gain was addictive and, as Teddy continued to search for his place in the world, he soon became like a thieving magpie enamoured by all things shiny and glamorous. From a kid who’d often end up sleeping on an empty stomach, a world where things were beginning to be handed to him on a silver platter was enticing. Somewhere along the way, he caved into his greed — but, it was what got him to where he was today.

Nowadays, his greed still reigned. Whilst it almost seemed more subtle about his master plan to reach the very top, it was still clear in his evidently lavish lifestyle that Teddy certainly cared for the material things in life which would act as nothing more than a status symbol. Even if that came in the form of a pretty girl attached to his hip, then he’d make sure everyone could see his height of success.

With glazed, starry eyes and a careful smile wandering his lips, Teddy’s drink sloshed out of the side of his glass as he weaved through the crowd on the dance floor. As the night progressed, so did Teddy’s intoxicated state, tie now loosened and wonky, and the top three buttons of his shirt undone in the least gracious of ways. Eyes watched the way Janelle danced shamelessly, lips parted ever so slightly before he made his slinking approach. Ever since he’d become acquainted with the dancer, he’d undoubtedly been intrigued by her convoluted ways. Even with his status, a part of Teddy felt that it’d be a challenge if he were to pursue her; if anything, that only attracted him to her more.

Hand resting on her lower back, Teddy leaned in to announce over the loud music, ❝ You look like you’re enjoying yourself out here tonight. ❞ She was a dangerous woman to get entwined with, but one he’d dare to risk his time with regardless. The Knopes were known to raise the stakes with every opportunity; Teddy was no different. After all, the higher he’d raise the stakes, the more rewarding the result would be. ❝ I’d like for you to dance with me. ❞ There was no beating around the bush as he slowly pulled his head back to search for her response, body swaying to the music. Slowly, an expectant smile twitched confidently at his lips, brow quirking before he held a hand out for her to take.

[OLLIE.]

[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; line-height: 150%; color: #494949; font-family: karla; font-size: 9pt; letter-spacing: 0.2px; word-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px;"]janelle doesn't want to move on, but a distraction would be nice, wouldn't it?

what better a distraction than the leader himself? he's suave, charming. one flash of that smile could easily have the most resilient woman falling on her knees. he, in a lot of ways, was what julian wasn't but wished he could have been. sure, both men had an alluring presence about them that was almost too good to be true, but theodore knope had the power and admiration to back it up. he actually got there. julian was forced to put those ideals to bed the day he killed his brother. he seemed a lot angrier than that. he wondered if things would have been any different if he would have made it. guess she'll never know.

all she knew was here , right now. trying to move herself away from the somber thoughts that encompassed her. the bass pulses throughout her body, extending her neck out so she's looking at the ceiling, as if to soak it in. it works, because she doesn't notice teddy. someone touches the small of her back and at first , she thinks it's the douche from the bar making yet another attempt at pursuing her. only, that's not the voice she hears. instead, it's the voice of the badlands leader himself. she considered herself to be a resilient woman, but teddy's voice alone does something to her. her body's response to him was something that could only be described as primary instinct, and one interaction with him alone, although she would never admit it to him- much less to herself - could send her spiraling the rest of the night. she tries not to be a fool, to keep him at arm's length. fun is fine, but fun can turn into misery just as fast. she knew how she was around men like him.

janelle turns to face him. he's a disheveled mess, but somehow it makes him look just as hot.  "i thought you were someone else, knope, i almost fucking decked you." her words are halfhearted, her lips twitching into a coy grin. she reaches out to shove him- playfully - although her hand differs on his arm, hand tightening just slightly before she drops it. "i'd like for you to dance with me," it's not a question, rather a statement.  she knows he expects her to. he's searching for an affirmation he knows more than likely will come. but for her, it doesn't. a least not yet. "are you asking me or telling me?" she asks and although her flirtation still carries, there's an almost challenge in her tone.

[Shiloh !]

text

SALEM

ENTRY #01

8.15.16

BL PROSPECTIVE

[div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 333px; min-height: 347px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 7pt; color: #000000; line-height: 99%;"]Salem was an awful drunk.
She only really drank when she was particularly sad, which wasn't super often. She'd found ways to keep herself busy in the badlands, and the loneliness and heartache hadn't quite hit her until now. When she was staring out at the beach earlier that day, however, she thought of the images in her mind that she'd created of the beach her parents always talked about. New Hampshire.
She would've killed to have gone. Hell, she would've killed to remember anything before this shit apocalypse. The thought of not caring about food or money, or whether or not your house was gonna be looted...well, that drove her straight to the bottle.

She was at the bar when Teddy approached Janaelle. She prided herself in being non-confrontational, but she tended to let herself go after a shot or two. So, she shouted, "It was an order! Teddy doesn't take no from anyone. Juuuuust let it happen..." She sighed as her words trailed off, her head resting on top of the bar. She could feel her heart begin to ache when she truly took in the sight of the two flirting; she'd never had any type of romantic connection, nor did she think she would. 

VITALS

> overall status: 100%

> physical status: stable.
> physical health: 100%
> physical afflictions: none yet.
> minor injuries: none yet.
> major injuries: none yet.

> mental status: stable.
> current status: stable.
> mental health: 100%
> mental illnesses: None
> mental damage: None

TAGS

━ ━xGENERAL
> N/A | "Salem"
> Female
> 23
━ ━xAPPEARANCE
>Human
> Dark brown hair that varies in shade, pale, blue green eyes.
> Carries at least 2 cigars at a time and a small switchblade.
> tall, lanky and a bit awkward physically.
>
━ ━xABILITIES
> N/A
> N/A
━ ━xCONFRONTATION
> medium physically | easy mentally
> non-violent power-play allowed
> no kill | request maim/capture
> ask to attack in bolded, underlined and italicized black
━ ━xRELATIONSHIPS
> Unnamed Father x Unnamed Mother | no siblings
>Lesbian | no crush
>
━ ━xOTHER
> this text + this color = this meaning

I'VE COME TOO FAR TO SEE THE END NOW

━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ even if my way is wrong

a small everyone. | beware hidden scrolling

[TEDDY.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]At the helm of The Badlands, it nearly felt like Teddy’s God given right to do whatever the hell he liked around these parts. To some, perhaps it made him appear to them as somewhat bratty but, according to Teddy, that was subjective and none of their Goddamn business. Teddy’s take on it was that he was the big name around here. For those who made the rules, there were no rules. This was his kingdom, and so he’d relish in his ❛ royal ❜ status. This was his stage, and so he’d find himself puffing his chest right beneath the spotlight. The admiration was where he’d thrive; without it, it would only remind him that he had, in fact, been born a nothing.

A boring, old nothing.

When he was the debonair leader of The Badlands, a man as charming as a snake, Teddy could be whoever he wanted. This mask of his had been molded with such precision that it almost looked to be his real face — sometimes even Teddy forgot that this wasn’t really him, but a man he’d forced himself to be if he wanted to make something of his dismal life. And, if he were to play the part, he would indulge in all of the benefits: drinking, drugs, women and wealth. He had it all, and his materialistic view of every single one of those things turned him into a seemingly very shallow man. Women were fun, he couldn’t deny it. Whether they were just another notch on his belt or one of the many trophies to celebrate his self-made success as an influential figurehead, Teddy was rarely seen without a woman by his side.

But Janelle — Teddy could never imagine her to be the type to ever gladly give him exactly what he wanted. As much as that should have made her to be a lost cause in Teddy’s book, it only attracted him more to her. There was one thing getting what he wanted handed to him on a silver platter, but it was another thing feeling the thrill of the chase as they’d play this perpetual game of cat and mouse. She didn’t bend over backwards to cater to his needs, and he kind of liked it. Whilst she could never be a woman he could see himself having serious feelings for, moments of fun like these made their fleeting time together all the more worth it.

When her lips twitched into a coquettish smile, the game was on. Teddy leaned back ever-so-slightly, his face crinkling up with a brazen-faced smile as he moved smoothly with the force of her lightly shoving him. ❝ Well it’s a good thing you didn’t. Would’ve broken my heart. ❞ Hand held over his chest as if to prove his sob story, Teddy’s playfulness tended to go a long way. He wanted to spend longer in the company of Janelle, and so dancing would be what he’d ask of her next. She didn’t have to say yes, but Teddy knew that she wouldn’t say no. Brows raised with a nervy smile at her question, Teddy soon overheard Salem’s words before he held his hand out for Janelle to take, adding onto Salem's comment. ❝ But if asking gets me a dance with the most beautiful lady in the room tonight, I might even add a ❛ please ❜. ❞

[OLLIE.]

[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; line-height: 150%; color: #494949; font-family: karla; font-size: 9pt; letter-spacing: 0.2px; word-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px;"]in a lot of ways , she and teddy were similar. they came from nothing, forced themselves into situations far bigger, even more dangerous, then themselves to get what they wanted. janelle wanted things, lavish things. she likes the material and shallows, the shit that would have only really mattered in the old world. makeup and sexy clothes, anything that- when she looked in the mirror- allowed her to say, 'i'm that bitch.' she likes being noticed, too. she can say she only dresses for herself, but that doesn't mean it's true. janelle lived off the little validations . . .

it made her feel like somebody.

and yet, where she and teddy differed was that ultimately, she craved to be loved more. she could not hold herself as steadily; her hands shook too much. she was too emotional, too bitchy and ultimately when it came down to it? the ability to be known, to have it all at her fingertips was all pushed aside for shit to work. she'd given up everything for julian in hopes that she could make it work, and she was still working through the trauma that came with it. still, her mind was already beginning to work its way with teddy and she isn't even aware of it yet.

"a good thing you didn't. would've broken my heart." 

"theodore knope has a heart?" a faux pout makes it's way onto her pretty little lips and she tilts her head. she's quick to break it, however, as he further accentuates the dramatics, placing his hand over his chest as if the comment truly affected him, although they both know how little weight it truly holds. either way, he's captured her fleeting attention, and he knows it. she's sure he enjoys that flirtatious banter just as much as she is.

somewhere , not too far off , the voice of someone suggesting to, "let it happen." piques interest. janelle's eyes flicker over towards salem, someone she's pretty sure heard only speak once, maybe twice. teddy hears it, too, and is quick to follow-up, his hand extended. she looks at him, with a pensive look on her face before finally, she's taking his hand as a quiet 'acceptance' "just know i'm doing it because i want to, not because you asked me to." she slowly walks forward, taking his other hand, guiding his arms around her waist. lifting one hand to graze his neck, fingers lightly brushing the back of disheveled hair, she molds her body into his as the music continues.

[Shiloh !]

text

SALEM

ENTRY #01

8.15.16

BL PROSPECTIVE

[div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 333px; min-height: 347px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 7pt; color: #000000; line-height: 99%;"]As a lesbian, Salem wouldn't think she would be one to be jealous of Janaelle. Though, her consciousness was so blurry she couldn't tell if she was jealous of her or Teddy. Truthfully, Salem had fell for his spell long ago; once upon a time, Teddy had made her feel like the prettiest girl in the room. she shut her eyes, letting Teddy's words sink in.

"The most beautiful lady in the room"

Considering he said this right after her pointed comment, Salem felt as though this was directed at her. Meant to put her down, to show that he valued Janaelle above her.

She couldn't blame him. She let her shotglass roll off side of the bar and break upon hitting the floor. She didn't want to get emotional, to let Teddy win. He always seemed to win.

No, Salem was able to squeeze the rising tears back behind her eyes, but by god she would remember this.

VITALS

> overall status: 100%

> physical status: stable.
> physical health: 100%
> physical afflictions: none yet.
> minor injuries: none yet.
> major injuries: none yet.

> mental status: stable.
> current status: stable.
> mental health: 100%
> mental illnesses: None
> mental damage: None

TAGS

━ ━xGENERAL
> N/A | "Salem"
> Female
> 23
━ ━xAPPEARANCE
>Human
> Dark brown hair that varies in shade, pale, blue green eyes.
> Carries at least 2 cigars at a time and a small switchblade.
> tall, lanky and a bit awkward physically.
>
━ ━xABILITIES
> N/A
> N/A
━ ━xCONFRONTATION
> medium physically | easy mentally
> non-violent power-play allowed
> no kill | request maim/capture
> ask to attack in bolded, underlined and italicized black
━ ━xRELATIONSHIPS
> Unnamed Father x Unnamed Mother | no siblings
>Lesbian | no crush
>
━ ━xOTHER
> this text + this color = this meaning

I'VE COME TOO FAR TO SEE THE END NOW

━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ even if my way is wrong

a small everyone. | beware hidden scrolling