already gone - open

[richard]

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— ”please tell me you’re not always this gloomy little rain cloud. it’s depressing.” maggie’s lighthearted words echoed around inside his head, richard gently slipping his eyes closed. taking a deep breath of the frigid night air, watching the cloud of breath get carried away by the wind, he leaned forward to rest his forearms against his legs as he sat on the steps to the lodge.

from the very beginning, richard banner had always been pessimistic in nature. sometimes he managed to masterfully walk the fine line between optimistic and pessimistic, able to see a situation for what it was. never hoped for anything more or anything less. painfully neutral. however, more often than not, he found himself leaning towards not giving a situation the benefit of the doubt. the man usually found himself thinking about the worst of a situation rather than thinking about the best case scenario. he prepared for everything to go wrong rather than to cling on and hope things would work out for the best.

”well-” he remembered slowly pondering, brows furrowing with uncertainty. “not always”

no matter how much of a pessimist he was, that didn’t mean that he was a man without dreams.

richard had dreams of his own. he often dreamt about all that his life could have been. a life where he didn’t have to run anymore. where he could start his life out on a clean slate again, to not find trouble wherever he went because of his name and the implications associated with it. he always wondered what it would have been like, to be able to go somewhere without the sneaking suspicion that things would quickly turn sour. a restless curiosity picked at him, to know what it was like to have a place to call home. it had been so long since he’d had a home; he forgot what it even felt like.

he dreamt of a happy life with maggie. a life with kids, and a family. at the end of the day, wasn’t that always what richard had wanted in life? whenever he was with maggie, he felt like the happiest man in the world. lowering his head, he brought his right hand over his left. his thumb absently brushed over his ring finger, absent of the string maggie had used as his “official” wedding band. eyes lingered on the empty finger, looking almost forlorn before he lifted his gaze back out towards the tree-line.

daring himself to dream only led for an even harsher dose of reality. he had to get used to the idea that, in the end, that’s all they were, and all they ever would be; dreams.

maggie was gone. not only was she gone, but she had moved on. had a family of her own. probably never even thought of him any more. not as often as he thought of her. bad luck always managed to find him, his family’s pass always finding a watch to catch up to him. leaving him having to pack his bags and run again. it felt foolish for him to dream.

pausing, he pursed his lips before he started to dig around in his coat pocket. it felt even harder to try and let his dreams go. when he found just empty pockets, he furrowed his brows. standing up, he started to look at the ground around him for something he must’ve lost. after a few seconds of not seeing it, he quietly uttered to himself, “damn.” just his luck. putting his hands in his pockets, he moved a couple steps away from the lodge, gently kicking up snow as he continued his search for his lost item.

// who me ? trying to be more active with all of my characters ? you're kidding
this post isn't my greatest and idk if it's easy to reply to but i tried : ' (

[spoiler=tags ― updated 3/01.][size=8pt]◜BASICS ┊ HIGH AND DRY WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE ◞
‣  ❝ richard banner ❞ | despises every nickname besides “rich” | male [he/him] .
‣ 29 years old . | june 10th; gemini.
‣  currently diplomat of flintlock district
↳ sees the stay as temporary; used to never staying in one place for long
↳ he has a lot of people he's wronged or harmed, and in doing so has a large target on his back .

◜PERSONALITY ┊ STORM IN THE SKY, FIRE IN THE STREET ◞
‣ articulate . strategic . intelligent . detail-oriented . quick-witted . highly critical of even the smallest details . fair-minded . direct . decisive . assertive . humble . organized . tolerant . calculating . logical . casual .  stylish . unemotional . straight-forward . quiet . keeps to himself .
↳ social drinker and smoker
↳ good at keeping conversation, but tends to keep people at a distance since he's been burned too many times by those close to him

◜ APPEARANCE ┊ THE COLD INESCAPABLE PROOF ◞
‣ five foot nine & one hundred and fifty eight pounds ; reference .
↳ brown hair, hair short and tidy
↳ toned but not on the muscular side
↳ brown eyes , absent gaze

◜ FAMILY ┊ THE WAY AND THE LIFE AND THE TRUTH ◞
‣  howard banner x priscilla banner | deceased
↳ taken in by foster parents, kicked out shortly thereafter
‣ only child
↳ parents never wanted a kid . “ an accident “

◜ RELATIONSHIPS ┊ I'D BURN DOWN THE CITY ◞
‣  heterosexual ; monogamous | not seeking a relationship
‣ ex-husband to margaret caprice
↳ broke it off to keep her safe with a promise of reuniting down the road . devastated to know she’s since moved on and has a family of her own .

◜ INTERACTIONS ┊ AND YOU'LL WATCH IN WONDER ◞
‣  [ 10/10 ] physically  |  [ 9/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ difficult ] | difficulty w/ melees [ difficult ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ difficult ]
‣ [member=1512]elysian.[/member] | dm for any major plots .
‣  friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .[/size][/spoiler]

[SAINT BERNARD]

[align=center][align=center]

a

THE TIRED SOLDIER

[b][i]bernard smith. he never poked his head in other people's business unless it involved him, and often decided to pop his coat's collar and stick to his smoke, averting eyes and ears. he had gotten too used to doing that with the war and the orphanage. with what had happened, bernard did not want to think about it anymore. he had turned his back to people who needed him, and it became a habit so he would keep laying low and he wouldn't ever be needed.

however, it was very hard to ignore something that stood in his way, or would hit him. literally. bernard stumbled back after bumping into someone, noting they had been kicking through the snow, looking for something. the ex-solider hesitated before he backed up further, realizing he may have been in the way.

"sorry," he started, studying richard for a moment. "didn't mean to bump into ya. you lookin' for somethin', pal?"

"speech."

[spoiler=//tags -- updated ;; 09/01/21]
general
> bernard smith ;; saint bernard, bernie
> male;; he/him
> 47yrs ;; ages real time ;; december 15th
> flintlock lodge

physical
> physical health ;; 75%
> minor injuries ;; frostbite on fingers, a few bruises
> major injuries ;; n/a
> [i]important things to note ;; n/a

appearance
> thick and short grey hair ; dark blue/green eyes ; average, def a dad bod, rounder stomach ; 5'9" ; 240 lbs
> no body modifications
> a white shirt with suspenders ; black pants ; usually wears a heck ton of jackets if he's cold
> pocket change ; cigarettes ; a photo of his wife and son
> important things to note ;; scar on left side under ribs ; missing a toe or two

personality
> very honest ; stubborn ; sympathetic ; comes across as airy or non-present ; in his head often ; quick-witted ; think first, act after
> PTSD
> no tics

relationships
> oliver smith x dianne smith ;; dianne - deceased ; oliver - deceased
    > henry passed from cancer
    > dianne passed from natural causes
> no siblings
> heterosexual
> no known crushes
      > widow, wife was jillian williams - deceased ; passed from a raid in home
          > son was warrin - deceased ; passed from a raid in home

interaction/confrontation
> medium mentally | medium physically
> non-violent power play allowed
> will not attack/kill/maim/capture without asking the author
> do not kill/maim/capture without asking me (timothy)
> if you want to attack, use this colour (red) and underline it

misc importance
> "this is him talking." ;; his speech is bolded
> this is him thinking ;; thoughts are in italics
[/spoiler]

[EDMUND.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]Eddie was already well acquainted with pessimism. The innate desire present since his childhood to never expect things to go his way because that supposed level of cockiness would always leave gaps in an otherwise fool proof plan. In order to anticipate what would go wrong, Eddie would allow all the what ifs to circulate through his head until it became all he knew. The what ifs soon turned to assumptions, assumptions to negative declarations; pessimism was a learned trait for Eddie.

Admittedly, Eddie was barely a man who dreamed nor expected very much at all. He’d been broken in at a young age, thrust into a life that he had no choice but to live in and, at first, he despised it. The life of a crime family was not all glamorous as it had been made out to be. Eddie lost his mother at the age of sixteen, watching with stoic features and anguish in his eyes as he was made to watch his mother die for treason against the Stirling family. The result of a deeply unhappy marriage which influenced Eddie right up to this day.

He could barely hold onto relationships, often screwing them up before he could truly feel entirely safe and vulnerable in them. There was a lot to unpack, and Edmund was certainly no sweet and charming lover boy — not in the way he used to. He could barely blame people from leaving when things got too difficult or dying before Eddie could show his appreciation for them. All because he was too afraid to show an ounce of vulnerability, just in the way Alfred had drilled into his head. His emotions were a weakness.

Anger got people killed, and so did sadness. Joy and complacency made people a target and so feeling nothing, being nothing, was his safest bet. If anyone was foolish enough to stay around Eddie for too long, they either died or Eddie would turn and unwittingly sabotage the only thing he loved. Why? Well, because nothing he had lasted forever; a fallacy of the opposite was difficult for him to comprehend.

Returning from a final patrol for the night, Eddie watched Richard searching around into the snow before he and Bernard crashed right into each other. With a simple quirk of the brow, Eddie remained otherwise unfazed as he then approached the duo, stopping nearby with his hands in his pockets and his rifle slinging over his shoulder. ❝ You should retrace your steps. ❞ Eddie advised before beginning to follow Richard’s tracks through the snow. With the high footfall in front of the lodge and the darkness of the night, it was like searching for a needle in a haystack. ❝ What are we looking for? If we don’t find it now, we’ll find it for you tomorrow. ❞

[richard]

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— nearly crashing into bernard amid his search efforts, he took a few steps back. “sorry.” meeting the other man’s gaze, he paused a moment before looking down at the snow absently. “yeah. i’m not having much luck finding it.” a vague answer, half-expecting the man to retire for the night rather than join him in his search. he spared a glance to see eddie approaching, stopping a ways away. retracing rich’s footsteps, eddie asked the last question rich wanted to answer. what were they looking for?”

“it’s-” rubbing the back of his neck, he breathed a short breath through his nose before concluding, “nothing important. a pack of smokes.” richard was often so reserved with his emotions. though, perhaps there were a few subtle traces of how he truly felt, observed in the way he spared another long glance over the nearby snow, or the way his shoulders deflated just a bit upon his answer. the fact he often didn’t smoke alone, not even carrying his own lighter most days. he wasn’t telling the truth. still, he lied so smoothly, one would almost be sure to take it and accept it as honest truth. unless they were experts in lying, themselves.

richard once never thought of himself as the kind of person to lie his way through conversation. he used to consider himself a bit of an open book, unashamed of who he was, where he came from. how he got there. now, lying was all he truly knew. nothing else to keep him company than the web of lies he surrounded himself with. after maggie, he didn’t think he could ever find someone he could wholeheartedly be honest with. let alone in flintlock, where his whole reason for being there was a lie. was there anyone that could know him for who he was when he tried so hard to not let them be able to? he wasn’t so certain.

might as well keep up the act. and change the topic, he added as an afterthought. lifting his gaze up from the snow, he sighed and asked absently, “either of you have a cigarette on you? and a light? i could use a smoke.”


[spoiler=tags ― updated 3/01.][size=8pt]◜BASICS ┊ HIGH AND DRY WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE ◞
‣  ❝ richard banner ❞ | despises every nickname besides “rich” | male [he/him] .
‣ 29 years old . | june 10th; gemini.
‣  currently diplomat of flintlock district
↳ sees the stay as temporary; used to never staying in one place for long
↳ he has a lot of people he's wronged or harmed, and in doing so has a large target on his back .

◜PERSONALITY ┊ STORM IN THE SKY, FIRE IN THE STREET ◞
‣ articulate . strategic . intelligent . detail-oriented . quick-witted . highly critical of even the smallest details . fair-minded . direct . decisive . assertive . humble . organized . tolerant . calculating . logical . casual .  stylish . unemotional . straight-forward . quiet . keeps to himself .
↳ social drinker and smoker
↳ good at keeping conversation, but tends to keep people at a distance since he's been burned too many times by those close to him

◜ APPEARANCE ┊ THE COLD INESCAPABLE PROOF ◞
‣ five foot nine & one hundred and fifty eight pounds ; reference .
↳ brown hair, hair short and tidy
↳ toned but not on the muscular side
↳ brown eyes , absent gaze

◜ FAMILY ┊ THE WAY AND THE LIFE AND THE TRUTH ◞
‣  howard banner x priscilla banner | deceased
↳ taken in by foster parents, kicked out shortly thereafter
‣ only child
↳ parents never wanted a kid . “ an accident “

◜ RELATIONSHIPS ┊ I'D BURN DOWN THE CITY ◞
‣  heterosexual ; monogamous | not seeking a relationship
‣ ex-husband to margaret caprice
↳ broke it off to keep her safe with a promise of reuniting down the road . devastated to know she’s since moved on and has a family of her own .

◜ INTERACTIONS ┊ AND YOU'LL WATCH IN WONDER ◞
‣  [ 10/10 ] physically  |  [ 9/10 ] psychologically .
↳ difficulty w/ guns [ difficult ] | difficulty w/ melees [ difficult ] | difficulty w/ hand-to-hand [ difficult ]
‣ [member=1512]elysian.[/member] | dm for any major plots .
‣  friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .[/size][/spoiler]