it comes in waves. [p]

[cygnus]

[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; line-height: 15px;"][font=calibri]The weeks had been long, and with each passing day, Wren's disappointment only grew. She had left her homeland with her brother. He had promised her stability, safety, somewhere she could rely on her neighbors to protect her wellbeing, perhaps even the potential to love someone. The journey to Flintlock Lodge had been a hard one, but the siblings pressed on with the notion that it would be worth it. All of their hardship would be worth it.

Until it wasn't. Nightmares of Victor's disappearance plagued Wren's dreams, night after night. She spent her days searching relentlessly for her brother. Dead or alive, she wanted him located. Preferably alive, of course, but so long had passed. Her hope dwindled with every night that Victor remained missing. When she wasn't searching for her brother, Wren was educating herself in the arts of medicine and combat. Anything to help her feel like she was contributing to her society somehow. It was definitely better than the constant crying she did upon her arrival, and since she spent the vast majority of her time in the forest, searching for Victor, she found quite a lot of guilt housed in the fact that she wasn't contributing much to the community who graciously took her in.

And Eddie, of course. He had been her brother's dearest friend. He was a major factor in the decision to come to Flintlock Lodge to begin with. Victor had wanted to reunite with his friend. The two seemed to bond over the hardships they had experienced over the course of their lives. Wren knew that Victor's disappearance was affecting Eddie as well, both as a friend and as a leader. She couldn't imagine how Eddie felt, knowing someone went missing on his lands.

Today was no different than any other day. Wren rose and readied herself for a cold day in the forest. Pulling her coat on over a woven sweater, she glanced back at the dagger sitting on the dresser. It needed sharpening, so she decided against bringing it along today. Looking at her reflection in the mirror every morning also seemed to have a new narrative. Despite her own hardships, Wren was generally a bright and bubbly girl. This dose of real life seemed to suck the last of that out of her though. Today, the reflection looking back at her was stone-faced and cold. It had dark bags under its eyes, and its skin was paler than before. She found it difficult to even fake a smile these days. It had been two and a half months since Victor's disappearance, and every day that Wren went searching for him, it only got harder on her. He was all she could think about, talk about. She was sure the other residents of Flintlock were quite fed up with the elder Seaborne's persistence in the daily news. That never bent her determination, though.

[EDMUND.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]Edmund could feel himself changing. He never laughed anymore. His smile looked different, and he no longer talked the same. There was a new, deflated murmur in his voice, as if he had to will himself to speak at all. Each and every strife slowly ate away at him until he was different. It had taken months to reach this point, maybe even years, but the signs were ever-so-clear nowadays. That dull resentment which lingered in his eyes, the guilt that weighed heavy on his shoulders with every morally conflicting choice he’d make in his life. All of a sudden, Eddie barely had any pride, or pleasure, or desire. Instead, he passed each and every day like the shell of who he’d once been. He had to get through each day, after all, even though some days were really truly difficult.

Victor Seaborne was dead, and no one else knew that it’d been Eddie who’d been the one to pull the trigger. There was no bitter hatred between two men like brothers, but the most difficult yet humane thing that Eddie could have done from the bottom of his heart to put his friend out of his misery. Victor wouldn’t survive the night anyways if Eddie were to refuse to put him to death; in fact, perhaps sending that bullet in his skull was the kindest thing for Eddie to do. With spluttering breaths, Eddie’s cries were ugly as his back slid down the trunk of a tree until he was in a seated position. It took nearly an hour before he could will himself back up to his feet so that he could bury Victor. A simple, unmarked grave that Eddie would then visit every single day after Victor’s death.

He couldn’t tell Wren about the death of her brother — it’d been a dying wish of Victor’s that Wren did not learn of his death. Wren was always ever-the-optimist; the hope that he was perhaps out there, alive and well, somewhere could forever linger in Wren’s mind. But, that wasn’t how things panned out. Instead, Wren was wrought with distress and it felt like she would never settle. The grief would forever remain. Sometimes, even though it’d hurt more, people deserved closure.

And so, today Eddie would tell her the truth.

He wasn’t out searching profusely for him like he'd been telling her he would every day. Instead, every day, he was sat by his grave, staring impassively with reddened eyes as the guilt nearly made him sick to his stomach. Eddie was a stoic and strong man, but he couldn’t spend every single day lying to the face of a grieving woman.

Wren readied herself with her coat for another day out in the forest, and Eddie kept to himself as his gaze observed worriedly from afar. For a man who appeared as cold as the mountain he lived upon, Eddie couldn’t help but note the way his heart slammed against his chest. The way that the truth was sat at the very tip of his tongue, yet he knew that it would come with a whole lot of pain and grief. It was never easy telling someone that their loved one had passed; it was even harder to tell them that it was caused by his own hand.

❝ Going out again today, Wren? ❞ Eddie questioned half-heartedly as he then gathered the courage to approach, gaze avoidant whilst he busied himself with tugging on his jacket, gloves and hat. He worked his jaw, eyes searching the ground, before he looked over towards the woman. ❝ I’d like to show you something, if you don’t mind. ❞ Brows knitted together for a moment, Eddie slinging his rifle over his shoulder before he went to hold the door open for Wren to leave the lodge.

His biggest fear was slowly coming true: people would slowly begin to see Eddie in the same way as he saw himself.

[cygnus]

[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; line-height: 15px;"][font=calibri]Since coming to Flintlock, Wren struggled. Although she had arrived in search for a new life, a fresh start, her brother's disappearance made that entirely impossible. While she was so focused on locating him, she had lost herself. She could feel herself becoming angrier and shorter with those around her. She found herself constantly stopping and reminding herself of her goals. The past several weeks, Eddie had been there for her, faithfully. He sat though every breakdown in the middle of the night, and sometimes he would bring her breakfast the next morning. It wasn't unusual for the two of them to venture out together in search for any trace of Victor.

Today was no different. Wren readied herself, Eddie waited for her. Today, he looked different. He looked worried, nauseous even. At his question, Wren almost laughed to herself. "I feel like you know the answer to that, Eddie. I won't rest until he is found," she nodded, moving past him. He slung a rifle over his shoulder and held the door open for her to step out first. At his words, a puzzled look came across her face. "Something to show me?" Although his demeanor should've been enough to warn Wren that it was not a good thing, she seemed to look past it. Eddie was just being Eddie, cold and awkward, as always. Perhaps he was very pleased with her progress in combat training. Still, she sensed that something was off. Now fearing that she might be in trouble, anxiety began to weigh her stomach down.

The trek up to the forest was a quiet one, but once out there, Wren let out a sigh of relief. She always seemed to feel better, lighter, in the bitterly cold air. There was something refreshing and ironically forgiving about the cold that she just couldn't quite identify. Perhaps it was her Seaborne roots, people born to the cold Northern seas, who learn to overcome their hardships. Seabornes were known to be particularly ruthless when handling their enemies, and Wren would prove to be no different. Or, perhaps it was because pelting someone with snowballs was a fun way to relieve stress. Either way, the scene of the gently-falling snow was enough to clear her mind, something she deemed as a privilege these days.

[EDMUND.]

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 2.5px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]She wouldn’t rest until he was found, she informed him matter-of-factly. A straight faced smile tugged the corners of Eddie's lips, although it was not a look of anything but mere acknowledgement. Even whilst he was skilled in denying himself the chance to reveal his feelings, today was a testing time. His heart slammed with uncertainty against his chest; upon finding the truth, Wren’s world would be shattered, and it’d be Eddie’s fault. She could lay the blame upon him all she wanted — he deserved it for leading her on all this time — but he only hoped that he could explain his valid reasons when the time came.

Those meticulously rehearsed words that had kept him awake most nights this week, at this point Eddie thought he knew exactly what to tell Wren. The truth, laid out smoothly for her to process. When it came to it, though, Eddie knew he’d stumble over each word pathetically, voice strained from the sting of tears that he’d stubbornly fight back. He responded to Wren with a simple hum, too consumed by his own anxious thoughts to attempt any small talk thereafter. Instead, he took to the saddle of a hitched horse, waiting for Wren to do the same, before they made their trek through the snow.

Slowly, Eddie tipped his chin up to glance upwards, the white-dusted evergreens providing a sparse canopy above. Despite the fresh snowfall, Eddie knew exactly which way to go; after all, he’d visit the very same site every single day without fail. When they arrived, Eddie dismounted and hitched his horse up to a tree before he uttered, ❝ We’re almost there. ❞ With his hands in his pockets, Eddie tread through the snow to a small opening, revealing a worn, asymmetrical wooden cross, unmarked and clearly made by hand. There, in front of the cross, wilted flowers lay covered almost entirely by a fresh layer of snow.

Eddie crouched down beside the grave, eyes fixated on the wooden cross as if he were avoiding Wren’s gaze. His throat felt tight all of a sudden, a sharp and shaky exhalation passing his lips as he prepared himself for what was bound to come. His gaze was glazed over with tears, head tipping down so that he could use his hand to wipe as his nose, before he murmured feebly, ❝ I’m sorry, Wren. ❞

As Eddie stared at Victor’s grave, he felt the way his heart broke all over again. Every single day, this would be a grim reminder of what Eddie had to do to free Victor from all of his suffering. Slowly, Eddie looked over to where Wren was stood, face twitching as he tried to tirelessly fight away his tears, as he then choked, ❝ He was already gone and buried by the time I went to find you. He didn’t want you to find out, Wren. It was…. It was his dying wish to make sure you were safe. It's why he led you to me. ❞ He clenched his jaw, nostrils flaring, before he looked back at the grave. ❝ He died feeling safe. Feeling at peace. ❞ 

[cygnus]

[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; line-height: 15px;"][font=calibri]In just mere seconds, the past two and a half months of agony had turned tables. Endlessly searching for her brother as the days got shorter and colder, and the nights became treacherous and unforgiving. Still, she pressed on. Eddie's words were barely audible, it seemed, as once the dawn of realization hit her, her world had gone silent. Wren wanted to ask questions, she wanted to gain clarification on the circumstances of his death, but she could form nothing, except for the intense feeling that she was going to vomit.

She dismounted her horse carefully, her hands shakily rising to cover her mouth as the sea of emotions began to crash over her. No tears came, though. "I-I, I-don't, I don't understand, what happened? Why did he have a dying wish to begin with?" she bombarded Eddie with loaded questions, voice quivering with either unidentified anger, grief, or a mixture of the two. She stumbled over to the delicate grave, feeling a wave of disgust ride over her. Based on Eddie's words, Victor had spent his last moments with him. At this thought, Wren quivered in a mixture of disbelief and the feeling of utter disrespect.

Wren intended to bend down at her brother's grave, but the weight of the world shoved her cruelly to her knees. No words, no sounds could escape Wren's mind, but she knew she was angry. Victor had been healthy, and he would have never kept something of this degree from her. Not after all they had been through. Wren hung her head and began to allow the tears to flow through their course.